Pretty sure LDR and NZ are the most incomptabile things ever

[bunnylove11]

So I met this really, really lovely guy almost two years back in a MMO game (and we're still talking; confessed to each other and made tiny plans for the future). We will be meeting up in a few months; due to some issues on my side, a really revolted mother and the likes, we were unable to meet any sooner.

 

I'm really excited. But we've also been talking about possibly him moving to Europe (he is from UK, living in NZ on a resident visa) to be able to get me a partner visa for NZ, if things go right when we meet. I dont doubt that they will. And just 2 days ago he told me those plans can't go through.

At least not for at least 2-3 years because if he leaves now, without being a citizen, he may not be able to go back/secure a citizenship afterwards.

 

It kindof made me heartbroken. Because the only option for me to go over there would be Student Visa, but its way too costly for me to afford. So we'd have to make do with few weeks of seeing each other yearly. I can't even start to describe how it made me feel; probably best way to put it is that i felt like the last shred of hope i had for that was torn away.

 

I have met part of his family and they are amazing - I see why he would want to secure a citizenship first.. But he also needs to renew his passport, which he said he'll be getting onto. Not right now, due to lack of time.

But 3 weeks ago he made the time to plan a whole move in with his friends. It made me feel a bit sad too. That sadness made me think that im starting to go on the sightly psycho path.

 

He makes it seem like the whole deal is so easy and stuff but it seems so horrible to me. It makes me feel hopeless at times like now.

I'm excited to meet him. So excited.

But I'm also so sad. Everything we had in mind got torn up and he doesn't even seem as affected as me. Maybe I'm just overdoing it? Overthinking?

 

I dont really know anymore.

 

:(

[LittleTiger]

Hi bunnylove11. Welcome to LS.

 

It seems to me you are 'counting chickens' here. Not just before they are hatched but before the eggs have even been laid.

 

This lovely guy you've never even met is doing the right thing for his own future. Which is exactly what he should be doing. You, on the other hand, are talking about moving continents based on a 'dream'.

 

If/when you meet, you may hit it off, you may not. Stop worrying about what could be and make your decisions based on what actually is.

 

Are you overthinking? Most definitely!!!

 

All that said, I genuinely hope it works out for you and you end up living the fantasy you've created.

[Sioned]

You should check what you are being told.

 

While it is the case that you need to be a resident in NZ for 5 years before you can apply for Citizenship - you actually only need to have been a resident for 2 years (From memory) before you are able to leave long-term and come back and still be a resident.

 

YOu start off on a Residence Visa, and then after 2 years - you can convert that to a Permanent Resident Visa, which means he could live in Europe for as long as he wanted and still be entitled to go back to NZ without re-applying for residence.

 

Just be aware though - he may not be "lying" to you about this - immigration rules are notoriously complicated to understand (and change frequesntly - hense you should check the 2 year thing) and it is often the case that people get the wrong end of the stick - but you do need to have a frank conversation about it and make sure you both know the rules.

[Els]

But he also needs to renew his passport, which he said he'll be getting onto. Not right now, due to lack of time.

OP, this is quite concerning. He "doesn't have time to renew his passport"?? It takes maybe 3 hours of your time to renew a passport, even if you aren't living in that country. He just needs to send the appropriate documentation to the UK embassy and they should be able to sort it out for him.

 

I think you are being strung along if he has used that excuse for not meeting you for 2 years!

 

Please do NOT sign up for a course of study in NZ just to be with this man.

 

I have met part of his family and they are amazing

I am confused. You have met his family... but you haven't met him?

 

You should check what you are being told.

 

While it is the case that you need to be a resident in NZ for 5 years before you can apply for Citizenship - you actually only need to have been a resident for 2 years (From memory) before you are able to leave long-term and come back and still be a resident.

 

The information the guy in the OP has given her is technically correct. He is talking about citizenship, not permanent residency. You need to have lived there for 5 continuous years before you can apply for citizenship.

 

On the other hand, you are correct in that once you have permanent residency (2 years), you can go back whenever, so there is no risk of him not being able to return to NZ. Also, there are very, very few differences between a permanent resident and a citizen of NZ, so I don't see why a young person with UK citizenship would be in such a hurry to obtain NZ citizenship.

Edited November 16, 2016 by Elswyth

[bunnylove11]

Hello Sioned.

 

Just be aware though - he may not be "lying" to you about this - immigration rules are notoriously complicated to understand (and change frequesntly - hense you should check the 2 year thing) and it is often the case that people get the wrong end of the stick - but you do need to have a frank conversation about it and make sure you both know the rules.

 

Oh yes, I totally know. Since he wasn't born there or anything, but immigrated to NZ from UK with his family, he is currently under the impression that they could be able to take away his visa if he stays away for too long.

Hence why he's like to get the citizenship first, to make sure he can go back to his family if anything ever happens.

 

And I think that is just fine. But since as you said, immigration rules are extremely complicated, I still cannot wrap my mind around all that information. :/

[bunnylove11]

Hi Elswyth

 

Sorry, I still don't really know how to use the quote sistem, so bare with me ^^

 

OP, this is quite concerning. He "doesn't have time to renew his passport"?? It takes maybe 3 hours of your time to renew a passport, even if you aren't living in that country. He just needs to send the appropriate documentation to the UK embassy and they should be able to sort it out for him.

 

I think you are being strung along if he has used that excuse for not meeting you for 2 years!

 

Oh no! We were supposed to meet last year (so 1 year after we met) and we had everything figured out - but unfortunately my mother was truly again it and we couldn't make it, because it'd have been extra hard to manage seeing him and have her constantly nagging. Since then I have talked it out with her and she has calmed down and understood the situation and he is working towards coming here next year, after or before his father's wedding.

Thats the sole reason why we didn't meet.

 

 

I have explained why he wants to get the citizenship in a previous reply. I hope it got posted.

 

As for studies, I won't. It was a dream of mine to study in Australia/NZ but quite a bit but i wasn't able to due to financial issues (studies are so darn expensive haha).

 

And "met" his family, not face to face, but he has introduced me to his father one night over video chat.

His sister talks to me quite often and then I know his brother because we play the say MMO.

[Els]

Oh yes, I totally know. Since he wasn't born there or anything, but immigrated to NZ from UK with his family, he is currently under the impression that they could be able to take away his visa if he stays away for too long.

Hence why he's like to get the citizenship first, to make sure he can go back to his family if anything ever happens.

 

No, NZ permanent residency is literally permanent, not like some countries where it expires after you are away for some time. I strongly suggest that both of you read the NZ immigration page on this, and ask on ENZ forums if you are uncertain about anything.

 

The only difference between NZ permanent residents and citizens are that citizens can run for government offices and work in the military. And, of course, only NZ citizens can get NZ passports, but the UK passport isn't any weaker so that isn't a consideration.

 

Hi Elswyth

 

Sorry, I still don't really know how to use the quote sistem, so bare with me ^^

 

Your quotes are fine, don't worry.

 

 

As for studies, I won't. It was a dream of mine to study in Australia/NZ but quite a bit but i wasn't able to due to financial issues (studies are so darn expensive haha).

Where are you from and what are you currently doing (working/studying)? Hypothetically, if you are from a country with a Working Holiday Visa arrangement with NZ and below the age of 31, you can apply for that visa, which will allow you to stay for 6-12 months in NZ. From there, once you have lived together for some time, you can apply for a partner visa. I trust that you are aware of what the requirements for a partner visa are, since you mentioned it in your opening post.

 

I say hypothetically, because IMO it is too soon to be planning all of this long-term stuff. Meet up ASAP and see how things go from there, is my advice. I know you two have video cammed, but you still need to spend time in person before deciding if you really want to invest all that time, money, and effort on having a LDR and closing the distance with this person.

Edited November 16, 2016 by Elswyth