Almost 7 months later, still feel bitter over BU

[drewdude]

Hello LS, my ex of 1 year and a half broke up with me back in April. Mainly due to arguments that got out of hand with her final excuse saying "she loved me but wasn't in love with me" but I never did abuse/cheat on her and treated her generally good and like a gentleman.

 

I was devastated because I did so much for her, took her on trips out of state, and really did connect with her more than anyone else i've been with in my 32 years of living. It also bothered me how she dropped me like nothing over text message a few days after we had an incredible weekend together with lots of fun/sex, etc. I'm normally used to signs with women but there was no sign of her emotions going south at all at all. She was also on multiple online dating sites a few days after breaking up with me and hanging out/drinking with a random new guy at her dorm, posting pics/video on IG about it. It all stung really bad

 

She wanted to still be friends, but I went straight NC since the day it happened. Since then, I hit the gym hard(still go 4-5 times a week), improved my relationships with friends/family, went on summer trips with friends/family, making more money at work, doing new activities I planned with her but did it with myself, been going on dates/talking/sleeping with new girls, in the best shape of my life and gains are showing big time.....BUT. With all this..I still feel bitter.

 

I'm over the depression/crying/feeling sad about it almost all day and over the rawness of the situation. But part of me still misses her and part of me resents her. I am normally completely over someone in a couple months time. But this one still lingers. Is this normal? Anyone else feel like this about someone? Could use some advice, thank you

Edited November 15, 2016 by drewdude

[Sweetfish]

She was also on multiple online dating sites a few days after breaking up with me and hanging out/drinking with a random new guy at her dorm, posting pics/video on IG about it. It all stung really bad

 

 

You answer of why she broke up is right there.

 

Under your wing she probably felt she couldn't be free and had the urge to breakup. Doesn't matter if you went on trips or travel to different places and had fun. Had a connection that you know she was the one and vice versa. Had great sex or told each other I love you... Sometimes for the other person this is not enough. Sometimes, there is nothing you could have done or change for the results to fair different.

 

You did right going NC, but you went NC maybe for the wrong reason.. for that edge of hope she will come back... maybe not? Maybe to have the last laugh?

 

The linger I think is normal... but I think if she were to come back would you want her? Do you want her? Or do miss her

[Mr Scorpio]

I am normally completely over someone in a couple months time. But this one still lingers. Is this normal? Anyone else feel like this about someone? Could use some advice, thank you

 

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. I think you know why you are going through it:

 

I was devastated because I did so much for her, took her on trips out of state, and really did connect with her more than anyone else i've been with in my 32 years of living.

 

Is it normal? Sure. Big fires leave a lot of smoke. A year and a half relationship -- assuming it is worth a damn -- leaves a lot of memories and impressions. Some of them may never go away completely. You just won't experience the feelings nearly as often.

 

I mean hell, why do you think all those stories (songs, movies, theater, etc) have been written about heartbreak? You're talking about one of the strongest states of emotion in human existence. To paraphrase a wise man, "a man cannot graduate until a woman breaks his heart".

 

But it sounds like you're doing really well all things considered. Keep on keeping on (and maybe consider staying away from girls in sororities).