Anxious Posted April 24, 2001 Share Posted April 24, 2001 I've known this mid-trenties guy since January, he's been away on trips half this time. Apart from our first time, the few times we had sex he didn't want to spend the night with me. I was afraid I got myself into a serial "one-night stand" situation with him so 10 days ago I asked him to step back and get to know each other before we have sex again. He acts angry and distant. Am I being unreasonable? Is it a usual thing in the beginning of RELATIONSHIPS (the boyfriend-girlfriend type) for people not to want to wake up next to each other? Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 24, 2001 Share Posted April 24, 2001 I don't think your request is unreasonable but you should have made your desire known from the start. He may not want to go into details...but he may snore loudly, sleepwalk, move around a lot in his sleep, talk in his sleep or simply be unable to sleep with another person. Maybe his mama and daddy want him home at night. In any case, he doesn't know you well enough to give you what he may consider such personal information. There is also the possibility that all he's interested in is sex and he prefers to go home afterwards. Or his wife or girlfriend may be home waiting for him...who knows. If you want a guy to stay with you the night, this may be the wrong dude. Most "normal" men would be jump at the chance to stay with a lovely lady, particularly after there has been intimacy. There is a problem here and you need to either get to the bottom of it and fix it or write him off. Link to post Share on other sites
sparkle Posted April 25, 2001 Share Posted April 25, 2001 I have to agree with Tony. Maybe he just wants sex or maybe he's got someone that he goes home to. Or maybe he's not ready to jump into a real relationship with you, and doesn't want you to become too attached so he likes to keep his distance. Who knows? You just gotta discuss this with him. If you're close enough with him to have sex with him, I'm pretty sure you'll have no problem communicating about this situation. Personally, if I had sex with some guy at night and then he left instead of spending the night, I wouldn't be too happy about it. But it could be that he has to work in the morning and doesn't want to get up early in the morning, go home, shower, shave, get some clean clothes and all that other stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Posted April 25, 2001 Share Posted April 25, 2001 I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I also don't think it is usual for relationships to be this way. I usually have to be kicked out of bed. You may have started things off on the wrong foot, but I think you have done the right thing based on your intimacy needs. Link to post Share on other sites
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