I Want To Renew My Vows

[MissCongeniality]

I want to have a new start with my husband because I've made a lot of mistakes in my marriage. I want to renew my vows and show that I really love him. So I'm thinking about proposing to him. I feel it's the best way to show I'm seriously trying to change and I was watching my wedding video with my youngest child and I found it depressing because I didn't marry my husband for the right reasons and while I have grown to love him the fact remains that woman I was back then was not being sincere. I know my husband and I have had been working through our issues and I also know if we didn't have kids he would have been done with me a long time ago.

 

I want to show him I am one hundred percent committed to him and to being a better person. So I need advice does anyone know how propose to a guy? I know it's a weird question but I really feel like renewing my vows is the best way to show I'm trying to change.

[BettyDraper]

A proposal and vow renewal are meaningless if you haven't done the work necessary to become a better person and wife.

Have you been in individual counseling for at least a year? Are you being transparent with your husband?

[understand50]

MissCongeniality,

 

I have read both of you, and if this is what you want and you want to recommit by using a ceremony, I say go for it. Certainly, you two have your issues, and this would may help. Can't hurt in any case. Maybe you can use it to change your situation, and move forward.

 

I wish you luck......

[Superchicken]

Pointless renewing if your still married.

 

 

Why not spend a week or two with him and your kid(s) in another country, or state, etc. Like a beach resort or similar.

This I feel would be a better form quality time and commitment than some words spoken. Words have no weight, unless the are backed up. You are still building on that, so just shift your energy into another form of expression, and spend some time with him together !.

 

 

Ted.

[Clockwork]

Please, as a man talking here do NOT propose to him. Ugh. I'm sorry, but fellas would get what I am talking about here. Throughout the whole process of getting engaged and married and such it is all about the bride. She is the crown jewel. Nothing wrong with that. However, there is one thing we fellas get to have, and that's the proposal. Sorry, it's a guy thing to do. I did it. I talked to my future father in law before it happened. Did it the traditional way. Men feel emasculated if a woman proposes to them, it just isn't right. Remember that Friends episode where Phoebe proposes to Mike at a ball game and he basically gets laughed out of the stadium. No, this is the only thing us guys get to do.

 

 

Now, you are both married. Why not just bring it up to him to have your vows renewed? That's fine. That isn't a proposal. You can plan a trip around it if you want. As long as you both are genuine right now is all that matters. There had to have been SOME good reasons to married him back then too.

[aileD]

I like the idea of renewing your vows. I think however that you must do the work first and then do the renewing. My husband and I want to renew our vows too but we aren't even close to where we want to be to feel like it's right to do that.

 

Proposing to him isn't the best way to show him you're committed....doing the work and being consistent and putting your marriage first are the best ways.

 

However I think that you should tell him what you wrote here with all sincereity and let him know that renewing your vows would be something you are interested in doing down the line.

[Popsicle]

He's not going to leave you if he hasn't yet, so this is unnecessary.

[elaine567]

Here, only three weeks ago you started a thread stating how incompatible the two of you are sexually and how frustrated you are that your husband is so vanilla.

What has changed?

Are renewed wedding vows suddenly going to make him into the man you really want?

[anika99]

Here, only three weeks ago you started a thread stating how incompatible the two of you are sexually and how frustrated you are that your husband is so vanilla.

What has changed?

Are renewed wedding vows suddenly going to make him into the man you really want?

 

This. Pretty much all of what you have ever said about you marriage and husband has made it sound like you should be considering divorce not vow renewal.

 

In any case you are putting the cart before the horse. If you want to prove to your husband that you really love him and want to change you do that by putting in the time and hard work to actually change and love him. Words are cheap if you haven't proven them through your actions. A romantic ceremony where some flowery words are exchanged proves nothing. Dig deeper.

[Superchicken]

I read the older posts, and as long as she hasn't acted on her impulses (Man I wish my wife had her naughty mind) with other men, then she just needs to fix up the things she said she will.

 

 

I don't blame her for having sexual frustrations with her other half.

Yeah, there needs to be some acceptance by him in wanting to do it.

But, I think that he should be making a better attempt to fulfil her needs too. If he also cared for her, he should be doing something about it now.

If he doesn't, then your just asking for trouble. Its a Chernobyl all over again.

Superchicken goes bonkers when they cross the line.

So all cool here.. Unless I missed something ?.

 

 

Ted.

[NuevoYorko]

Since your husband participates on this forum as well, he'll probably let you know himself how he'll feel about you proposing to him.

[Sweetfish]

Does renewing vows change the dynamics of the relationships? I think it's a good idea.. Men really do like to be appericated.