Punkrockpk Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 Hi everyone. I was on here years ago thru a divorce and it really helped. Unfortunately im back. Long story short i reconnected on fb with a girl i inew in highschool. She lived 8n another state but i made a trip out to see her and we fell head over heels. We long distance dated for about 8 months then she agreed to move across the country to live with me. All was fine for the first 6 months then she started to seem unhappy. She reconnected with an ex husband for a bit online and then i found out. She was devastated and so was I. We worked through it and for another 2 years we were great. Then she started seeming distant again and 6 mo later she gave me the "i love you but im not ln love" speech and proceeded.to.sublet an apt. month to month. She told me she had been trying to keep us together for the laat year but just didnt feel the same anymore. I found out she had met another guy 2 weeks prior to breaking up with me. The next month consisted of her seeing him occasionally and yet saying she missed me and still seeing me at the same time (unbeknownst to him.) i finally told him and she freaked out and he almost dumped her and her me for good. A few weeks went by and she started seeing me again because she said she didnt know how she felt. Fastforward 4 months since the break up and she has continued to see us both, sleep.with us both and has said she questions whether she wants to be with him long term, loves me and can see a future with me but just can't get there yet. Yesterday she was here with me all night and instead of having sex we just held each other very intimately and slept. Today she told me she is thinking very seriously of ending both relationships but with me knowing she may decide she wants to try with me in the future and by telling him she doesnt think they should see each other again (which i assume would end it for good as far as he would be concerned) and taking time alone to decide what she really wants to do. She knows that i have casually explored dating again and she says she cant even stand to think about it. She has asked if i would keep.seeing people while she did this as it changes how she thinks she would feel about me as a possible future. My question is if she decides to.break with us both should I take the risk she ultimately says no since i.am in return asking her to take a risk.on me? Is this just insane and i cant quite see it because i am so far in it? What do others think? Link to post Share on other sites
bummer Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 (edited) Is this just insane and i cant quite see it because i am so far in it? Yes and yes. Read the infidelity threads and ask yourself how you would advise someone in your situation. She wants her two cakes and to eat both of them. Then she asks you to bake another for her when she had the audacity to make you feel selfish for trying to move on from her. This on and off again only ends with more prolonged off on her part, man. Let her go! You can find hundreds of door mats for under $20 at Wal-mart. Are you worth more than $20? Edited November 18, 2016 by bummer Link to post Share on other sites
Been Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 She's a user. First she tried to reconnect with her ex husband. Now she's seeing you and someone else at the same time? Your her back up man-someone she KNOWS will take her back because you have. And by doing that she has 0 respect for you. It would be a blessing for you if she left you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Punkrockpk Posted November 22, 2016 Author Share Posted November 22, 2016 She texted me tonight and asked what i was doing. I texted back i was going to see a band play. Hour later she asked where. Another hour later i told her the club name. She responded "K. Is there are reason you're being so cold and short... ?" i have had it with this self serving indecision BS... My response? " Pretty simple. I dont want "i miss you..." and "what are you doing? Im thinking about you..." Those are just breadcrumbs to keep me hanging. 4 words are all that matter. "I...WANT...YOU...BACK." If it isnt those then there is no point. ".... I haven't answered her nonresponse responses and dont plan on it. Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 So let me get this straight. She is seeing you and having sex with you and also doing the same with the guy she cheated on you with 2 weeks before she broke up with you and you still want to be with her and so much so that you are contemplating not dating anyone at her request while she tries to figure out what she wants to do? Did I read that correctly? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Punkrockpk Posted November 23, 2016 Author Share Posted November 23, 2016 Well almost correct. She said she was asking what i would say if she decided to stop seeing both of us and actually took time alone to think her issues through. She would prefer (of course she would) that i didn't see anyone either during that time. Of course this wouldn't mean she wants to come back either. No i am no longer contemplating agteeing to that. She can do whatever the hell she wants but like i told her (see above) i dont want to hear from her about anything unless she wants to come back for real. That move is on her. I am continuing to see other people and if she wants to 100% commit to trying again i may, and i do mean may consider it. I have just started seeing a new girl and i am focusing on that. I have no idea where that will go but it may lead to a girlfriend. If that means no chance with the ex that is her loss not mine. I am moving on at this point. Not sure what the ex is thinking or going to do. I stopped responding to her breadcrumbs so who knows what she is thinking now. She is obviously questioning the new guy because she wont go all out boyfriend mode with him and still just tells people they see each other sometimes. Again not my problem. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 Leave her with "Do what you want. I'm no longer an option for you, so have a good life.... I'm done and don't contact me ever again" Link to post Share on other sites
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