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Am I over reacting? Wife kissed/pecked a stranger

Wookin Pa Nub

By Wookin Pa Nub,
in Marriage and Life Partnerships

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CommittedToThis

CommittedToThis

Posted
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I see what she did as pretty light-hearted.

 

Hi DoT,

 

I'm totally with the majority of the posters here in seeing this as a meaningless thing and that OP is blowing it way out of proportion.

 

I just wanted to illuminate that the wife could have chosen a different response, and that just because a man is old doesn't mean he won't f*ck someone's wife (or husband if they swing that way).

 

I just ended a 3-week thing with a 62 year old woman (I'm 54) and she was wonderful, sexually speaking. If someone saw me harmlessly kiss her on the cheek at a function, they would never imagine the reality of the two of us f*cking like goats the night before.

 

The whole "old people get a pass" thing bugs me. My Dad (83) has always played the 'cute old man' card with my exes and the people he knows and he gets more incidental feely-action than I do LOL.

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Sweetfish

Sweetfish

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Just read the backstory.

He isn't attracted to his wife and doesn't want to have sex with her. His wife is a normal woman and yet he freaks out everyone anyone with a penis is within 10 feet of her.

 

It's the same posts over and over, I'm sorry for saying it, Wookin. But you're the problem, not your wife

 

The backstory is what makes what she did justified.

 

In any normal healthy relationship, this is disrespectful. Unless the husband and wife play on this level.

 

However, the OP exploits his wife and probably makes her feel anything but sexy. If your wife has not cheated yet.. you are taking a good thing and ruining her life at the expense of your ego and entertainment.

 

Probably, that old man made her feel "wanted"

 

How about taking some of that absorbed energy of jealously and control and actually talk to your wife.. not that at this point she will listen or believe you.

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Wookin Pa Nub

Wookin Pa Nub

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Well it seems most of you think I am being ridiculous. Take my "backstory" out of the equation as nobody on here really knows our day to day relationship even tho there's plenty of wanna be internet therapists on here.

 

 

So in any typical relationship, would it be disrespectful for a wife to kiss a strange man on the cheek simply because he asked?

 

 

All I am asking for is for my wife to be respectful of my wishes.

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aileD

aileD

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Well it seems most of you think I am being ridiculous. Take my "backstory" out of the equation as nobody on here really knows our day to day relationship even tho there's plenty of wanna be internet therapists on here.

 

 

So in any typical relationship, would it be disrespectful for a wife to kiss a strange man on the cheek simply because he asked?

 

 

All I am asking for is for my wife to be respectful of my wishes.

 

No. its not disrespectful unless you have told her how it makes you feel and she still continues to do it.

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BettyDraper

BettyDraper

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Well it seems most of you think I am being ridiculous. Take my "backstory" out of the equation as nobody on here really knows our day to day relationship even tho there's plenty of wanna be internet therapists on here.

 

 

So in any typical relationship, would it be disrespectful for a wife to kiss a strange man on the cheek simply because he asked?

 

 

All I am asking for is for my wife to be respectful of my wishes.

 

Why do you repeatedly ask for advice if you think that we are just "wanna be internet therapists"? The backstory makes a huge difference whenever LS members post about marital difficulties.

 

If you're not willing to see what part you are playing in the unhealthy dynamic between you and your wife, then there is nothing that anyone can do to help you. You specifically asked if you were overreacting and when you did not receive the answers that you wanted, you became defensive and demanded that we forget about the several threads you have posted about your wife.

 

I don't understand how you swing from wanting your wife to sleep with others because you won't have sex with her to treating your wife like she's an inmate. You can't have it both ways and respect should be reciprocal in a marriage. Quite frankly, you come across as extremely confused and controlling.

Edited by BettyDraper
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miltie1916

miltie1916

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The older gentleman was probably just trying to be playful and humorous. Many men when they reach a certain age tend to get a bit provocative with young women as women of a certain age no longer see them as a "threat." Hence young woman try to "humor" older men when they make certain remarks whereas they would have taken umbrage if a younger man made the same remark. I think you should forgive your wife this sole indiscretion and that she should refrain from responding in such a fashion again so as not to upset you.

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sandylee1

sandylee1

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Well it seems most of you think I am being ridiculous. Take my "backstory" out of the equation as nobody on here really knows our day to day relationship even tho there's plenty of wanna be internet therapists on here.

 

 

So in any typical relationship, would it be disrespectful for a wife to kiss a strange man on the cheek simply because he asked?

 

 

All I am asking for is for my wife to be respectful of my wishes.

 

I wouldn't do what your wife did, but I think the surroundings make it a little different. Even though he was a stranger, you were among friends and him being an old chap made it safe.

 

I don't think my husband would be fussed if I pecked an old fella on the cheek. If it was a man our age, I wouldn't dare, unless I wanted trouble. I equally would have no issue if he pecked an old woman. In fact I'd tell him to go ahead if the old lady asked.

 

That's all without bringing your back story into it.

 

With your back story .....

 

You're not attracted to her at the moment

You don't want sex with her.

You have a bit of a desire to let her sleep with other men.

You're kinda jealous when other men show an interest

You have a supressed desire to see your Ex, due to lingering feelings

 

Canyou see how confused you appear to us?

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LargoLagg

LargoLagg

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Well it seems most of you think I am being ridiculous. Take my "backstory" out of the equation as nobody on here really knows our day to day relationship even tho there's plenty of wanna be internet therapists on here.

 

 

So in any typical relationship, would it be disrespectful for a wife to kiss a strange man on the cheek simply because he asked?

 

 

All I am asking for is for my wife to be respectful of my wishes.

In any typical relationship, it would depend on how tightly wrapped the husband is about stuff like this. With you, it's safe to say yes, it is disrespectful. I wouldn't care, so if my wife did it, I'd appreciate the humor.

 

However, the back story, whatever it is, is important to the dynamic. It gives us context as to why she might want to be disrespectful to you. If what the other posters say is true, and I don't care enough to check, then what you might be experiencing is PUSHBACK, aka, THE BEGINNING OF THE END.

 

She might just be getting tired of your BS, and is publicly demonstrating her desire for independence in a way she knows you'll understand. So the question you have to ask yourself is which do you care more about? That fact that she was disrespectful, or why she felt perfectly good about giving you that disrespect in public?

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