Is anything going on

[BluesPower]

And that's all it took to throw a good marriage away, validation from someone who is half the man that you are, openly flirting in front of people you both know, bad sex with someone who doesn't give a sh*t about her, how little value she placed on the years you struggled and sacrificed. It always bothers me to know that someone would so easily give away what you as her husband cherish so much and would risk your life to protect. She knows this but it wasn't enough to stop her from doing it anyway. What a selfish, selfish act. I guess she puts more value on you now that you know her truth. Funny how they all wish they could go back in time and undo what they did but that's as much fantasy as their affair was, you can't go back and you can't unfu*k yourself. You need to do what is best for your healing, she made her choices.

 

This is what I always wonder as well. Not just with affairs either, but just in general. My wife's affairs did not bother me as much then as now. Probably because I was young. It was the other stuff that was actually worse.

 

But they throw it all away no matter how good of a husband you are.

 

But the worst is when you figure out that they don't love you.

 

That was the end of it for me....

[Drone117]

 

 

 

But the worst is when you figure out that they don't love you.

 

 

The worst is when they say they still love you and never stopped.

 

One he'll of a way to show your love if you ask me.

[aliveagain]

The worst is when they say they still love you and never stopped.

 

One he'll of a way to show your love if you ask me.

 

For me I was faulted because I chose not to raise their affair child as mine. How do you respond to that kind of logic other then the way I did by leaving her cheating a$$?

[Marc878]

The worst is when they say they still love you and never stopped.

 

One he'll of a way to show your love if you ask me.

 

Bwahahahahahaha, cheater logic!!!!

 

I loved you even when I was doing the nasty porn star sex with my soulmate? All the time he was railing me I was thinking about how you are just the best husband a girl could ask for?

 

Huh? What?

[Zenstudent]

The worst is when they say they still love you and never stopped.

 

One he'll of a way to show your love if you ask me.

 

I got that line as well. My answer was that if that's the case, I will rather not have your love. I would rather marry my worst enemy. At least I would expect them to stab me in back and be prepared.

[tinkerbell16]

The worst is when they say they still love you and never stopped.

 

One he'll of a way to show your love if you ask me.

 

Hi Drone,

My ex told me he will "never love her or anyone as much as he loves me".

 

Add it to the list of things that don't make sense.

 

I am a logical thinker and spent countless hours trying to make sense of his affair. How could he trash almost 30 years in an instant? The bottom line is it is a culmination of events, an opportunity arose at a time that his low self worth caused him to make destructive choices.

 

It's a storm that they cannot pull themselves from getting sucked into.

 

There is no logic so if you are logic based don't waste time spinning on why, what you did wrong, how can it have happened....

 

Life is unpredictable. I am a totally different person now because of my experience. New me neither better or worse but definitely more appreciative of the amazing things life has to offer. There is beauty in taking nothing for granted.

 

In my marriage I was a playing a role. As a mother and sacrificial wife. My needs were not met.

 

As a single lady I am free and able to express my needs and be very selective in whom I place in my life. I have a whole new life. The divorce was a catalyst but I am the captain

 

There is happiness for you once you are healed and this is behind you.

 

Don't get stuck in the past and the whys. This has happened and there is good that will come of it if you open your eyes and heart to your new life.

 

Hugs, Tink

[Drone117]

I agree with you. I consider myself to be a logical person too, so that's were all attempts to feed me the "love" line stall.

 

You see, if your love to that man was so all conquering - I accept that but please don't tell me you all of a sudden fell back in love with me. If it was not, you clearly was not loving me when you were having an affair. Back to the "please don't tell me..." point. If you insist you were loving me, I'd better find someone with more traditional way of showing love. So any path of logical thinking leads to "thanks for great years, please dosign here, here and here"

 

Of course by "you" I meant "her".

 

Well I think I used "love" too many times now.

 

As per the rest of your post, I'm absolutely not afraid of being single, nor I'm going to play wounded or miserable. It is likely - at least it feels like - I'm still entertaining the concept of R to an extent of being able to say to myself "I have tried".

 

Hi Drone,

My ex told me he will "never love her or anyone as much as he loves me".

 

Add it to the list of things that don't make sense.

 

I am a logical thinker and spent countless hours trying to make sense of his affair. How could he trash almost 30 years in an instant? The bottom line is it is a culmination of events, an opportunity arose at a time that his low self worth caused him to make destructive choices.

 

It's a storm that they cannot pull themselves from getting sucked into.

 

There is no logic so if you are logic based don't waste time spinning on why, what you did wrong, how can it have happened....

 

Life is unpredictable. I am a totally different person now because of my experience. New me neither better or worse but definitely more appreciative of the amazing things life has to offer. There is beauty in taking nothing for granted.

 

In my marriage I was a playing a role. As a mother and sacrificial wife. My needs were not met.

 

As a single lady I am free and able to express my needs and be very selective in whom I place in my life. I have a whole new life. The divorce was a catalyst but I am the captain

 

There is happiness for you once you are healed and this is behind you.

 

Don't get stuck in the past and the whys. This has happened and there is good that will come of it if you open your eyes and heart to your new life.

 

Hugs, Tink

[Birdies]

I think (speaking as a WW) it's very possible for someone to love you the most but still cheat on you. They take you for granted and want to have their cake and eat it too. Only when the fantasy world crashes into the real world and they suddenly are at risk of losing you, do they appreciate you they way they should have all along.

 

Doesn't mean they stopped loving you, just that they took you for granted and had a very poor decision-making process and sense of boundaries.

 

Not a justification! Just a perspective from the other side.

 

Drone, I think you need to soldier up and ask the heavy questions. You're in limbo here without knowing the full truth, and although it's easier right now, you're just prolonging your pain and the eventual outcome (whichever way it may be). Sending you well wishes.

[Cephalopod]

I agree with you. I consider myself to be a logical person too, so that's were all attempts to feed me the "love" line stall.

 

You see, if your love to that man was so all conquering - I accept that but please don't tell me you all of a sudden fell back in love with me. If it was not, you clearly was not loving me when you were having an affair. Back to the "please don't tell me..." point. If you insist you were loving me, I'd better find someone with more traditional way of showing love. So any path of logical thinking leads to "thanks for great years, please dosign here, here and here"

 

Of course by "you" I meant "her".

 

Well I think I used "love" too many times now.

 

As per the rest of your post, I'm absolutely not afraid of being single, nor I'm going to play wounded or miserable. It is likely - at least it feels like - I'm still entertaining the concept of R to an extent of being able to say to myself "I have tried".

 

Drone your WW's head is a bag of cats. She doesn't have any parking brake right now, so this is why you need to greatly scale back on all conversations and communications with her. Absolutely do not answer statements like these, as all you would be doing is gratifying her ego and need for acknowledgement. That craving is what got her in the position she is in now.

[Birdies]

Sorry, my mistake - I had forgotten that the diary has told you everything already.

 

If you did intend to reconcile, you'd have to make her confess to you. That would be a necessary part of the process for her, to know that this is ALL out in the open and there is no more covering. When I got to that point, it was a relief for me as well as for my now ex-H. I wish I realized earlier that I needed to just be honest instead of trying to minimize in order to limit the damage. We get so used to trying to cover our tracks and not get caught that it can be hard to realize when it's pointless anymore.

 

But it sounds like some aspects of the affair are a dealbreaker for you, so it's a moot point. Best of luck going forward!

[GoldenR]

I think (speaking as a WW) it's very possible for someone to love you the most but still cheat on you. They take you for granted and want to have their cake and eat it too. Only when the fantasy world crashes into the real world and they suddenly are at risk of losing you, do they appreciate you they way they should have all along.

 

Doesn't mean they stopped loving you, just that they took you for granted and had a very poor decision-making process and sense of boundaries.

 

Not a justification! Just a perspective from the other side.

 

 

I think you have a different definition of love than I do. I love my wife. More than anything. In a way I didn't know I could love someone. It literally does not matter who came along and offered it to me, I wouldn't cheat on her. Because I love her.

[drifter777]

I think (speaking as a WW) it's very possible for someone to love you the most but still cheat on you. They take you for granted and want to have their cake and eat it too. Only when the fantasy world crashes into the real world and they suddenly are at risk of losing you, do they appreciate you they way they should have all along.

 

Doesn't mean they stopped loving you, just that they took you for granted and had a very poor decision-making process and sense of boundaries.

 

Not a justification! Just a perspective from the other side.

 

Drone, I think you need to soldier up and ask the heavy questions. You're in limbo here without knowing the full truth, and although it's easier right now, you're just prolonging your pain and the eventual outcome (whichever way it may be). Sending you well wishes.

 

The issue I have with your logic is simple: your definition of "love" is different than mine. That's easy to understand - we're all different. Had I known that to my wife love didn't have the same assumption of fidelity I would have never married her. For her as long as she was blissfully happy in our marriage she was fine with that vow, but when things got rocky she felt entitled to seek romantic happiness elsewhere.

 

When a WW says "I never stopped loving my husband" I think that she believes this. It's just not the "for better or worse" kind of love.

[Birdies]

The issue I have with your logic is simple: your definition of "love" is different than mine. That's easy to understand - we're all different. Had I known that to my wife love didn't have the same assumption of fidelity I would have never married her. For her as long as she was blissfully happy in our marriage she was fine with that vow, but when things got rocky she felt entitled to seek romantic happiness elsewhere.

 

When a WW says "I never stopped loving my husband" I think that she believes this. It's just not the "for better or worse" kind of love.

 

I agree with all you wrote. Again, I'm not trying to justify the cruelty and selfishness of an affair, just trying to add some more perspective to the conversation : )

[Drone117]

Sorry, my mistake - I had forgotten that the diary has told you everything already.

 

If you did intend to reconcile, you'd have to make her confess to you. That would be a necessary part of the process for her, to know that this is ALL out in the open and there is no more covering. When I got to that point, it was a relief for me as well as for my now ex-H. I wish I realized earlier that I needed to just be honest instead of trying to minimize in order to limit the damage. We get so used to trying to cover our tracks and not get caught that it can be hard to realize when it's pointless anymore.

 

But it sounds like some aspects of the affair are a dealbreaker for you, so it's a moot point. Best of luck going forward!

 

Well this is not a moot point but in a way an eye opener. I think I mentioned in my previous posts that she's trying every thing possible now, like she's reading a website similar to this or a book. Including offers of full timeline and details. So I thought that's what it is, she's got a to do list of some sorts and offers that because it has to be done.So I've been declining, partially because I'm not sure how will I repeat of I hear this from her, but also because I didn't want to torture her just the the sake of it.

 

What your saying opens a different perspective for me.

[drifter777]

Well this is not a moot point but in a way an eye opener. I think I mentioned in my previous posts that she's trying every thing possible now, like she's reading a website similar to this or a book. Including offers of full timeline and details. So I thought that's what it is, she's got a to do list of some sorts and offers that because it has to be done.So I've been declining, partially because I'm not sure how will I repeat of I hear this from her, but also because I didn't want to torture her just the the sake of it.

 

What your saying opens a different perspective for me.

 

You have the diary - what more do you need? If you ask her for details she's going to lie & minimize about some of the juicy stuff as sure as you are reading this. I don't even think that if you do this it is a fair test as no WW has ever given the nasty details to her husband UNLESS those details turned him on sexually. Point is you don't need her to confess anything because you know more than most BH's ever will.

[Owl6118]

Well this is not a moot point but in a way an eye opener. I think I mentioned in my previous posts that she's trying every thing possible now, like she's reading a website similar to this or a book. Including offers of full timeline and details. So I thought that's what it is, she's got a to do list of some sorts and offers that because it has to be done.So I've been declining, partially because I'm not sure how will I repeat of I hear this from her, but also because I didn't want to torture her just the the sake of it.

 

What your saying opens a different perspective for me.

 

I think thst's a very valuable insight, actually. Willingness to give you a timeline, and how accurate or comprehensive it is, as a down payment on a real confession, is an excellent barometer of regret vs. remorse. You are in a fairly unique situation in having a way to gauge for yourself how far her journey toward remorse has gone, by seeing the degree to which she offers you the truth about your life. You don't need the information, but She does not know that. Her willingness to offer it, how much and to what degree, is potentially a good proxy for where she is really at.

[Drone117]

You have the diary - what more do you need? If you ask her for details she's going to lie & minimize about some of the juicy stuff as sure as you are reading this. I don't even think that if you do this it is a fair test as no WW has ever given the nasty details to her husband UNLESS those details turned him on sexually. Point is you don't need her to confess anything because you know more than most BH's ever will.

 

In a way I agree with your "dump the ..." approach. I'm a simple person, often black and white. Knowing that and given that divorce is happening no matter what, I really think I should know more. Why did she allow this to happen, is she honest in her remorse, have I done and am I going everything I can.Call it my due diligence. This will determinemy future relationship with her. As a mother of my kid at least.

 

That's why I appreciate alternative points of view offered to me here.

[T-16bullseyeWompRat]

As far as timelines, all she really has to do is offer up her journal right? She doesn't know you have it, it would be simple for her to make this step if she really wants to. In your position I would actually be expecting her to do this for you if it was her idea of creating a timeline. Pretty easy to tell if she is trickle truthing you if she gives anything less then you already know. I'm sure she herself will reference the journal to make her timeline. If she's doing her part, I would imagine her just handing it over instead of creating a new timeline.

[drifter777]

In a way I agree with your "dump the ..." approach. I'm a simple person, often black and white. Knowing that and given that divorce is happening no matter what, I really think I should know more. Why did she allow this to happen, is she honest in her remorse, have I done and am I going everything I can.Call it my due diligence. This will determinemy future relationship with her. As a mother of my kid at least

 

That's why I appreciate alternative points of view offered to me here.

 

I'm not a "dump the bitch" guy. I advocate for men to divorce a WW when the sexual component of her cheating is the dominant factor. Most men will never get over the sex - mind movies fade a bit but will be with you forever. The crushing blow to his self-esteem is very difficult to repair when he stays with a cheating wife because the very act of staying feels like tacid approval for what she did. In this case, when it's the sex, both BH and WW are much better off divorcing.

 

If you are a man that doesn't really care about the sex things are different. I think these men have a good chance to fully recover and repair their marriage.

 

You know which camp you fall into - all men do. I just know from all of your posts that the diary will not allow you the luxury of ignorance. You know too much to ever forgive - unless I'm wrong and the sex was, well, just sex.

Edited February 8, 2017 by drifter777

[road]

I'm not a "dump the bitch" guy. I advocate for men to divorce a WW when the sexual component of her cheating is the dominant factor. Most men will never get over the sex - mind movies fade a bit but will be with you forever. The crushing blow to his self-esteem is very difficult to repair when he stays with a cheating wife because the very act of staying feels like tacid approval for what she did. In this case, when it's the sex, both BH and WW are much better off divorcing.

 

If you are a man that doesn't really care about the sex things are different. I think these men have a good chance to fully recover and repair their marriage.

 

You know which camp you fall into - all men do. I just know from all of your posts that the diary will not allow you the luxury of ignorance. You know too much to ever forgive - unless I'm wrong and the sex was, well, just sex.

 

Drifter, where you a BH?

The affair will never be forgotten. Though with time the triggers will go from daily to weekly then monthly, yearly to every so many years.

The pain will be gone, a moment of sadness then those feelings are gone.

As if you had an accident and cut off your finger. You miss that finger but

let the feeling go because you have seen that you can still live life and life

is good.

Problem is when the BH does not get the truth. He can never forget

because he is always searching for the answers he wants. WW's want

to save their marriage then they cannot ide the truth from their BH's.

[S2B]

I really wonder if her timeline would match up to her diary?

 

And how her accounts of those events may be explained to Drone?

[merrmeade]

Drone, I think that the suggestion somebody made of HER volunteering the diary is a good one. It would get a whole herd of elephants out of the room. I should think it wouldn't be that hard to get her to divulge the existence of the diary to you.

 

Have you ever thought about tricking her into inadvertently revealing it? I think that if you go further, entertaining the option of reconciling as viable, then you need to put ALL secrets behind you both and, to that end, find a way to get her to voluntarily share the diary with you—however you go about it. Normally I am NOT for manipulation, especially at this stage of, emmm, (whatever we're calling where you are) the beginnings of a possible R (?), but you've kept this huge secret for so long: Any longer and I think you will have a major obstacle to R on your hands.

 

I think you could work the conversation around so that your questions are probing but innocent. For example, ask how she's coming along with the timeline. Explain again why the details are important to you. Suggest that she consult things she wrote during that period such as emails, texts, etc. to get the chronology. If her journal-writing activity is something that she knows you know about, why would she suspect if you simply referred to this past history and asked if she was keeping a journal 'then' that she could go to for reference. By asking this with the focus on helping her retrieve the details accurately, you're not asking her to show it to you; you're suggesting it for her use, which is non-threatening. At that moment, she won't be thinking that you might already have thought this, searched and found it. The hope is she will think that your suggestion is a good idea, open it up to you and that will be that.

 

Or maybe she will show by a facial expression or body movement that you've hit a nerve and then start to obfuscate or change the subject. Such a shift in thinking is ALWAYS accompanied by a visible sign (a change in tone, a look, hard thinking, etc.).** If you see something shifty, then you have a right to call her on it and ask her why she did it. In other words, you create a pretext for her to bring up the diary, asking something that can only be answered by referring to the diary, and, if she starts to dissemble or shift away, you point out what she's doing in a non-adversarial way that she cannot refute.

 

Pointing out that she's hiding something is not easy, but it can be done. For example, I knew that my husband wasn't telling me everything, finally flipped out and left the house one month post-dDay. He came to my motel next morning and I said I knew he was still hiding something and he had to tell me right then. He stared at me unmoving for the longest time, clearly masking an internal struggle. We both stared because I, unlike you, was not 100% sure. He was weighing how sure I was (that he was hiding something) and how far I would go. In our case, any public act on my part that would've exposed him to family and friends was terrifying to him. I'm 100% convinced now that If I'd waited him out and not gone back home, he would have divulged eventually.

 

The problem in your case is that you are acting, so I don't know how far you actually can take this. You're both acting, faking it, in fact, and that's why getting her to reveal the diary is the best solution, imo. In fact, I think it is vital to any hope for future honesty and trust between you. Once she does open up and the diary is out in the open (and I hope this can happen), then you can both go forward.

 

One small (

imo

) point:

Posters have advised you not to reveal your 'source.' However, from what you've described about your recent talks and her behavior, it seems to me the threat of subterfuge and secret contact with AP has dissipated. If that's the case, then what merit does the advice hold to keep your knowledge of the diary as a secret weapon into the indefinite future? Maybe I'

m

missing something.... ?

 

There's something else to consider: If she makes this good faith effort and actually does reveal the timeline - and THEN somehow finds out that you have been hiding such an enormous chunk of knowledge - she WILL feel, at the very least, confused, even angry.

So

, if you really think you might reconcile, please get her to give the damn thing up as soon as possible.

 

fyi - I have a confession, Drone. I don't think I could do what I just advised you to do. I lied to get my husband to confess initially, but couldn't keep it up for long, and this has been so long-term. If I were seeing your wife's effort to comply and do the right thing, I'd probably be unable to continue keeping a secret of my own. I'd tell her right then and there about the diary - without apology - and ask: What do we do now?

 

** P.S. If you're going to do this, read up on the web on how to detect lying. There are some videos and articles on this, some written by ex-FBI.

Edited February 9, 2017 by merrmeade
complicated post

[drifter777]

Drifter, where you a BH?

The affair will never be forgotten. Though with time the triggers will go from daily to weekly then monthly, yearly to every so many years.

The pain will be gone, a moment of sadness then those feelings are gone.

As if you had an accident and cut off your finger. You miss that finger but

let the feeling go because you have seen that you can still live life and life

is good.

I've been posting here for 5 years & you've been here a long time as well so I find it hard to believe you don't know that I am a BH. Regardless, your statements regarding healing are incredibly specific and cannot be applied to all. I mean to frame my statement based on my truths and those of nearly every BH I've encountered. I completely agree that a BH can heal - maybe not quite as clearly as a lost finger but I get that analogy. However, for men who are primarlily crushed (devastated) by the sexual component I have never interacted with a single one who has "healed" to the point in the way you describe. Never. Even 40 years later BH's will speak of how they compartmentalize her cheating and toss it into the never-reaches of their minds but that it still escapes into their consciousness much more often than anyone would think.

 

Several IC's that I've worked with have told me that they see many men who are still working through their wives infidelity decades after the fact. They suggest that many men are unable and/or unwilling to process their emotions at d-day so they rationalize and rug-sweep them away. They offer false-forgivness to their WW and try to put the whole traumatic thing behind them. But as they get older and the pressing responsibilities of raising children and building a career begin to wane, the feelings they denied years ago begin to creep into their minds and they feel compelled to finally address them. Each of them has also confirmed my assertion that, for men, it's all about the sex. Those men for whom sex is like a "sacred vow" are the ones that are still troubled by her affair. A positive aspect about these older men is that they are much more willing and able to do the work to find their own peace with all this. They can work with their wife to try to understand things from her point of view which can help resolve things. Or not. That is likely why divorce rates for couples over 50 have gone up so much within the past couple decades. Divorce is not "taboo" to most baby-boomers so staying married just to stay married doesn't work as well as it used to.

[drifter777]

Drone, I think that the suggestion somebody made of HER volunteering the diary is a good one. It would get a whole herd of elephants out of the room. I should think it wouldn't be that hard to get her to divulge the existence of the diary to you.

 

Have you ever thought about tricking her into inadvertently revealing it? I think that if you go further, entertaining the option of reconciling as viable, then you need to put ALL secrets behind you both and, to that end, find a way to get her to voluntarily share the diary with you—however you go about it. Normally I am NOT for manipulation, especially at this stage of, emmm, (whatever we're calling where you are) the beginnings of a possible R (?), but you've kept this huge secret for so long: Any longer and I think you will have a major obstacle to R on your hands.

 

I think you could work the conversation around so that your questions are probing but innocent. For example, ask how she's coming along with the timeline. Explain again why the details are important to you. Suggest that she consult things she wrote during that period such as emails, texts, etc. to get the chronology. If her journal-writing activity is something that she knows you know about, why would she suspect if you simply referred to this past history and asked if she was keeping a journal 'then' that she could go to for reference. By asking this with the focus on helping her retrieve the details accurately, you're not asking her to show it to you; you're suggesting it for her use, which is non-threatening. At that moment, she won't be thinking that you might already have thought this, searched and found it. The hope is she will think that your suggestion is a good idea, open it up to you and that will be that.

 

Or maybe she will show by a facial expression or body movement that you've hit a nerve and then start to obfuscate or change the subject. Such a shift in thinking is ALWAYS accompanied by a visible sign (a change in tone, a look, hard thinking, etc.).** If you see something shifty, then you have a right to call her on it and ask her why she did it. In other words, you create a pretext for her to bring up the diary, asking something that can only be answered by referring to the diary, and, if she starts to dissemble or shift away, you point out what she's doing in a non-adversarial way that she cannot refute.

 

Pointing out that she's hiding something is not easy, but it can be done. For example, I knew that my husband wasn't telling me everything, finally flipped out and left the house one month post-dDay. He came to my motel next morning and I said I knew he was still hiding something and he had to tell me right then. He stared at me unmoving for the longest time, clearly masking an internal struggle. We both stared because I, unlike you, was not 100% sure. He was weighing how sure I was (that he was hiding something) and how far I would go. In our case, any public act on my part that would've exposed him to family and friends was terrifying to him. I'm 100% convinced now that If I'd waited him out and not gone back home, he would have divulged eventually.

 

The problem in your case is that you are acting, so I don't know how far you actually can take this. You're both acting, faking it, in fact, and that's why getting her to reveal the diary is the best solution, imo. In fact, I think it is vital to any hope for future honesty and trust between you. Once she does open up and the diary is out in the open (and I hope this can happen), then you can both go forward.

One small (

imo

) point:

Posters have advised you not to reveal your 'source.' However, from what you've described about your recent talks and her behavior, it seems to me the threat of subterfuge and secret contact with AP has dissipated. If that's the case, then what merit does the advice hold to keep your knowledge of the diary as a secret weapon into the indefinite future? Maybe I'

m

missing something.... ?

 

There's something else to consider: If she makes this good faith effort and actually does reveal the timeline - and THEN somehow finds out that you have been hiding such an enormous chunk of knowledge - she WILL feel, at the very least, confused, even angry.

So

, if you really think you might reconcile, please get her to give the damn thing up as soon as possible.

fyi - I have a confession, Drone. I don't think I could do what I just advised you to do. I lied to get my husband to confess initially, but couldn't keep it up for long, and this has been so long-term. If I were seeing your wife's effort to comply and do the right thing, I'd probably be unable to continue keeping a secret of my own. I'd tell her right then and there about the diary - without apology - and ask: What do we do now?

 

** P.S. If you're going to do this, read up on the web on how to detect lying. There are some videos and articles on this, some written by ex-FBI.

 

He can literally compare her story against the diary that she wrote to detect if she's lying. I wouldn't reveal the diary until after the final divorce decree is signed by the judge.

[merrmeade]

He can literally compare her story against the diary that she wrote to detect if she's lying. I wouldn't reveal the diary until after the final divorce decree is signed by the judge.

Well, maybe, but it's kind of a sucker punch.

 

Not that it's in comparable by any means to her indiscretions but when do they throw in the gloves?