LookAtThisPOst Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Sometimes when I go to these Meetup events, I'd always notice a guy who would take a shine to a certain woman at a social event to the point where he walks her to her car when she really didn't want to be walked in the first place. To the woman, it's more like being followed to their cars. This happens more often than naught at these events, because typically this is the guy's attempt at trying to get her number or ask her out. As a woman, have you experienced this and if the guy was attractive, would you be okay with it? I'm sure opinions may vary, but even I know better to try to get the digits before taking it to the parking lot. It's kind of nice to know that some men are worse than I am at this kind of thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 (edited) Well, it's all about reading social cues. If the woman you are talking to seems to be genuinely enjoying your company, then walking her to her car is quite the nice gesture. Offer first though "Let me walk to your car". If the woman does not seem into your conversation then no need to bother. How do you know the woman didn't want the man to walk her to her car, by the way? Edited November 18, 2016 by Imajerk17 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted November 18, 2016 Author Share Posted November 18, 2016 Well, it's all about reading social cues. If the woman you are talking to seems to be genuinely enjoying your company, then walking her to her car is quite the nice gesture. Offer first though "Let me walk to your car". If the woman does not seem into your conversation then no need to bother. How do you know the woman didn't want the man to walk her to her car? I over heard their conversation when I was on my way to my car, he was more behind her as she was quickening her pace and not waiting for him...so it seemed more like he was following than escorting. She was parked next to me and he was floundering big time, was trying to get her phone #. And she had to shut him down at that point. Said she doesn't like to give out her #. Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 (edited) I over heard their conversation when I was on my way to my car, he was more behind her as she was quickening her pace and not waiting for him...so it seemed more like he was following than escorting. She was parked next to me and he was floundering big time, was trying to get her phone #. And she had to shut him down at that point. Said she doesn't like to give out her #. Yes I agree w you, that's really bad. If you find yourself CHASING a woman to her car then you are clearly doing it all wrong. Seriously though, cornering someone like that (and in general) is horrible. That's deep into serious creeper territory. Hopefully she got in her car and left safely? Edited November 18, 2016 by Imajerk17 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Herbalist Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Well depending on the area, time of night, how far away she is parked, if alcohol is involved, etc sometimes there is an element of potential danger when walking to one's car. I've always advised my female friends to have a little something on their keychain (mace, a knife, etc) and have their keys already out and in their hands on their way to their car. Not to be fumbling through their purses for their car keys in the dark after they reach their vehicle. The potential danger there is that some predatory guy might use the opportunity to attack, and well for all a woman knows, some random guy from the bar (or wherever) trying to walk her to her car could be a predatory guy. She doesn't know him. He might be a good guy who is protective of women, he might just be a desperate guy trying to get her digits, he might be wanting to be alone with her out in the dark parking lot because he's a predator. Who knows? She certainly doesn't. So I would say in general it's a bad move to try to get a woman's number by following her out to her car. It's not a situation where a woman is going to be thinking in courting terms, but in survival / self-defense instinct terms. If he wasn't able to get her number inside the building, he's not going to be able to get it by following her to her car. But she might become suspicious of him, which just escalates the awkwardness factor when he gets turned down. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted November 18, 2016 Author Share Posted November 18, 2016 Yes I agree w you, that's really bad. If you find yourself CHASING a woman to her car then you are clearly doing it all wrong. Seriously though, cornering someone like that (and in general) is horrible. That's deep into serious creeper territory. Hopefully she got in her car and left safely? Yeah..we all know the guy...he's harmless actually. Just does...that with women. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 I've had it happen several times to me. Typically it was welcome though; not like how you describe. Three of those guys have turned into BFs. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Most guys are harmless. Still, this guy was still failing at picking up on social cues. I try my best not to have to outright reject someone. So 'let me walk you to your car.' Would be answered with : 'no need, I'm parked close by' . If the guy follows me, I might do what she did in order to discourage him from asking for my number or going for a kiss. Body language at the car would have me turned towards the car, avoiding his gaze, etc. If I'm interested, reverse all that. He asks if he can walk me to my car I say sure. I walk by him, turned his way. Once at the car I turn towards the guy, might try to touch him as I say goodbye. The issue I think is that sometimes guys are more focused on the goal of getting a number than on figuring out if a woman is interested. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Yes, this happened a lot in my youth. I don't drive but it'd be offers to walk me to the station, my place, wherever. It still happens just as consistently. Only one time did I agree to a guy walking me right to my house but we had rapport by then and had spent 3 hours together and with mutual friends He read all my social cues (just like the others mentioned - social cues are so very important in walking her to a car or even just talking/approaching)perfectly - he knew before I said a word that I felt a bit awkward but was very sweet and kind. A total gentleman! It helped enormously that I had gone to meet some friends and he was a mutual friend of my friends This was 3 months before the beginning of our 14 year relationship. I think you guy friend read her all wrong. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
AmandaDiane Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 It all depends, if you don't want to be walked to your car/home, it's going to be awkward and uncomfortable, but if you like the guy and he's been very nice and acted as a gentleman, then the experience is nice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jump Through Loops Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 I once had a woman offer to walk me to my car. I replied that there's no need as my Mum was picking me up. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 It's good manners to offer to walk a woman to her car. But obviously, if she's hesitant about it, and especially if she straight out says "No, thanks", then don't! It's not really rocket science, so it's hardly a surprise to me that chase-her-to-her-car dude is having so much trouble with women. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ryan_in_IL Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 I usually ask them if I may walk them to their car. Oddly enough, most of them outright say "it's weird". Chivalry is almost officially dead Link to post Share on other sites
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