Can Couples/Spouses be Best Friends.

[Mysterio]

I hear some people say that their Spouse is there best friend. Is that really realistic and if so whats that supposed to mean.

 

What about couples that are not best friends.

 

When I hear the Spouses/Couples are each other best friends. First thing I think that they are all over each other and in extreem Honeymoon phase.

 

I don't know if its possible to have your SO as your best friend. Married or not.

 

What do you all think.

[ophelia99]

I hear some people say that their Spouse is there best friend. Is that really realistic and if so whats that supposed to mean.

 

What about couples that are not best friends.

 

When I hear the Spouses/Couples are each other best friends. First thing I think that they are all over each other and in extreem Honeymoon phase.

 

I don't know if its possible to have your SO as your best friend. Married or not.

 

What do you all think.

 

I have two best friends, one of them is my husband.

 

Best friends aren't in eachother's arms all the time, or pockets. They are the people that you confide your hopes, dreams and fears.

 

I don't dump all my problems on my husband, that is what my other best friend is for. My relationship with husband must also be a marriage, which entails emotional and spiritual intimacy. However there's such thing too much info sharing so, I think you need at least one other person in your life that you can talk to.

[anika99]

I think your spouse should be your best friend, but not your only friend.

 

I don't know why it makes you think they are all over each other in a honeymoon phase. Are you all over your bestfriends?

 

To me best friends trust each other, are always honest with each other and always have the other's back. They stick with you when times are hard and comfort you when you are sad or afraid. They greatly enjoy each other's company and spending time together and they can talk openly with each other about their deepest selves. Best friends can still have other interests and friendships outside of each other because bestfriends know their friendship is solid and dependable. If I were to marry I would definitely want my spouse to be my bestfriend.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I hear some people say that their Spouse is there best friend. Is that really realistic and if so whats that supposed to mean.

 

What about couples that are not best friends.

 

When I hear the Spouses/Couples are each other best friends. First thing I think that they are all over each other and in extreem Honeymoon phase.

 

I don't know if its possible to have your SO as your best friend. Married or not.

 

What do you all think.

 

I think it's kind of an overused term, because I knew of couples who were best friends that when they got married, they seemed more like roomates than anything else.

[Mysterio]

When I look at my Parents/Uncles/Aunts. I never get the sense that their SO is their best friend. The people my age. half and half.

 

I feel like a lot of people hide themselves. I don't feel like they look at their spouses as their best friend. Its almost like a lighter version of an arranged marriage.

 

My Parents don't confide in each other and basically lead seperate lives. They would sooner watch the same news program on different tv's together than watch in the same room.

 

I have lots of friends, because I like the diversity.

[anika99]

When I look at my Parents/Uncles/Aunts. I never get the sense that their SO is their best friend. The people my age. half and half.

 

I feel like a lot of people hide themselves. I don't feel like they look at their spouses as their best friend. Its almost like a lighter version of an arranged marriage.

 

My Parents don't confide in each other and basically lead seperate lives. They would sooner watch the same news program on different tv's together than watch in the same room.

 

I have lots of friends, because I like the diversity.

 

Well that's sad and it's exactly why I wouldn't want to be married to someone who isn't my friend. Your older relatives are not getting all the rewards that marriage has to offer because they are not friends with their spouses.

[MidnightBlue1980]

My husband says I am his best friend and to some extent I feel the same. But - if we were to break up, we would not be best friends, so are we really best friends?

 

I have friends for 25 years, the relationships are not going to end until one of us dies. That is a best friend.

 

That said, you should feel like your spouse is your best friend, but you need outside friends who are never going to go away, until one day they sadly do.

[Mysterio]

More Power to you if your spouse are best friends. I just don't see a lot of it in real life. Seems people to me are just together for the sake it. Not for some big spritial union. Kids or no Kinds.

[LookAtThisPOst]

My husband says I am his best friend and to some extent I feel the same. But - if we were to break up, we would not be best friends, so are we really best friends?

 

I have friends for 25 years, the relationships are not going to end until one of us dies. That is a best friend.

 

That said, you should feel like your spouse is your best friend, but you need outside friends who are never going to go away, until one day they sadly do.

 

Funny you say that, because on some of these dating sites I'd see women saying, "I'm still great friends with my ex."...and "your'e telling the rest of the single male community...becaaaussse?"

[salparadise]

I dislike the way word definitions, such as "friend," are usurped and vaguely generalized by people trying to contort relational paradigms. Lovers are lovers, spouses are spouses, relatives are relatives.

 

What does it even mean when someone says their spouse is their friend? You feel that you can confide in and rely on them? Well, good for you.

 

What does it mean when women insist on "friends first?" People should quit screwing with the language and just say what the phuk they mean.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I dislike the way word definitions, such as "friend," are usurped and vaguely generalized by people trying to contort relational paradigms. Lovers are lovers, spouses are spouses, relatives are relatives.

 

What does it even mean when someone says their spouse is their friend? You feel that you can confide in and rely on them? Well, good for you.

 

What does it mean when women insist on "friends first?" People should quit screwing with the language and just say what the phuk they mean.

 

I could have posted this, esp. with the "Friends first" line uttered by women on online dating sites. I remember when I was in my college days where I knew of a lot of men that tried doing the "friends first" thing with women, hoping it would turn into something else.

 

When she actually found a "lover/boyfriend" they were crushed. lol

 

Same thing when people use the verbiage of " hanging out" instead of "Asking her out on a date" for fear she may be scared of the man using the word 'date" in a sentence.

 

I had to give a woman the ol heave-ho when she busted my chops asking me "Oh, you thought this was a date?" in a rather condescending fashion.

 

Although I didn't use the word "date" in a sentence when I asked her out, she should have used common sense that I was interested...and asking her out on date without using it in a sentence.

 

I often see these posts by guys who said, "Yeah, I asked her to come hang out with me...blah blah blah."

 

Why are you using the words "hanging out" for?

 

It seems that when it comes to love, dating, romance, courtship, etc. People have coined their very own personal definition of each, leaving serious ambiguity and confusion, sometimes as a means of back peddling.

 

 

People should quit screwing with the language and just say what the phuk they mean.

 

Yes....sadly there is no clarity anymore.

 

There was an article online or something where it was headlined, "When you're out on a date you should never be asking yourself, 'Is this a date?'"

[mikeylo]

Too much friendship can lead to being a disastrous lover couple or roommates.

 

Lovers who get along , understand one another, are compassionate , compatible make a good couple. The entire great friend theory is also good for fwb but not as romantic couple. It's a big misconception.

[Els]

Why not? Been with my SO for several years and he definitely is. I know several couples who say that after decades as well.

 

IMO the part after the honeymoon phase is where having your SO as your best friend really shines. The honeymoon phase is all about romance and dates and hot sex and lovey-dovey stuff - which is all good, but eventually you'll also need to chill at home on weeknights and do mundane stuff like groceries or long car trips together. If you're not 'best friends', how on earth do you tolerate living with that person and spending that much time in their company?

 

When I look at my Parents/Uncles/Aunts. I never get the sense that their SO is their best friend. The people my age. half and half.

 

The older generation has a higher incidence of this because people HAD to marry back in those days. You often had no choice. So people are more likely to end up in a marriage of convenience back then - you might not like talking to the person but it's better than starving, especially for women, or for men whose parents make it a necessity for them to marry to inherit the family business.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I recall someone saying how their were friends with their current spouse for 5 years before getting married.

 

I could never really wrap my mind around that because I've tried being friends with women for a certain time for it to not amount to romance.

 

Somehow I just don't buy into it entirely...it makes me feel that they just got tired of dating and settled on someone who they are just most familiar with.

 

It's kind of on par of those who go back to their ex's after they got tired of the dating scene.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I hear some people say that their Spouse is there best friend. Is that really realistic and if so whats that supposed to mean.

 

What about couples that are not best friends.

 

When I hear the Spouses/Couples are each other best friends. First thing I think that they are all over each other and in extreem Honeymoon phase.

 

I don't know if its possible to have your SO as your best friend. Married or not.

 

What do you all think.

 

When you start spending so much time together, it's pretty difficult NOT to become good friends with that person just by default. There are some situations where the two people are just completely different and don't mesh in any way whatsoever but are together for other reasons, but I think that's rarer.

[Mysterio]

It feels like this when I look at couples. My Parents come off like getting Married was something expected and more like a "We must Survive". Mentality. They have the Roommate Marriage. All my Aunts are Divorced on my Moms side. My Dad's Brother was married for about 43 yrs. Until he passed.

 

I have my female friend A who lives in the States. I am her best friend. Even over her female friends. We are like Brother and Sister. When she was about to Divorce her husband. She called me. Her sister and I basically talker her out of it.

 

When I hear My Spouse is my Best Friend. That means they know how their Spouse is thinking and vice versa and there are no murky aspects to them.

 

I think that on The Cosby Show The Huxtables would be Best Friends. Same with Heart to Heart. The Jeffersons/All in the Family not as much. If we go by TV shows that revolve around Spouses.

 

If I were to marry. I want my wife to be my wife. I want her to have her good friends male and female that she treasures. When it comes to all the love stuff. I want her to give that all me and vice versa.

[Methodical]

My knee-jerk response was, of course, but then I thought about how often we see and hear from couples with great divisions among them. Some stay married for convenience, financial reasons, kids, religious beliefs, etc. While they remain married for whatever reason, they certainly aren't friends.

 

In loving relationships where couples are open and honest, I think partners can be/are friends. They know each other intimately... aspirations, kinks, quirks, etc. and love one another unconditionally.

 

It's also healthy to have friendships beyond romantic relationships tho. We all need a support system, ppl we can vent to and run thoughts and ideas by for opinions. In other words, someone who knows you intimately without romantic involvement bc their objectivity isn't obscured. Even great relationships crumble, so it's best not to have all your eggs in one basket.

[anika99]

I recall someone saying how their were friends with their current spouse for 5 years before getting married.

 

I could never really wrap my mind around that because I've tried being friends with women for a certain time for it to not amount to romance.

 

Somehow I just don't buy into it entirely...it makes me feel that they just got tired of dating and settled on someone who they are just most familiar with.

 

It's kind of on par of those who go back to their ex's after they got tired of the dating scene.

 

You are comparing apples to oranges. Being married and being friends with your spouse is not the same thing as spending years acting like someone's friend when what you really is sex and romance. If you think being friends with a girl means you are owed more than friendship and you have decided that the friendship was a big waste of time when you didn't get what you really want then apparently you don't understand friendship. And that has nothing to with someone being friends with their spouse.

[Els]

 

If I were to marry. I want my wife to be my wife. I want her to have her good friends male and female that she treasures. When it comes to all the love stuff. I want her to give that all me and vice versa.

 

People whose partners are their best friends ALSO have other friends.... 'Best friend' does not and should not mean 'only friend'.

[Mysterio]

I have a friend that puts all his eggs in one basket and I can see the toll its having on him. He not only has to finance his GF's life. He has to put up with her bipolor/bad leg and anxiety issues.

 

What some people are willing to put up with is amazing. Or I am way to tough on the average girl.