joel Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 i talk with the girls and be freinds-talk about school, life and her interests and well what she does on the weekend and after a while after being more comfortably aquianted i ask for her number or i give her mine-she givesme her # it to me, i say maybe we can go out sometime to a movie or whatever catch for some lunch and smile.what happens if i never plan on dating or doing what i said i will or maybe just changed my mind or found a better girl, so i never phone these girls and catch up on the date or ask her out. am i called a tease , player or flirt or what am i called or if u flirt and be friendly with girls and get their numbers and never phone em back is that player,tease, or what. or what happens if i be freindly and make a lot of small talk and chit chat with a lot of girls what am i called and maybe or may not be dating a gal Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 I would call you a jerk, personally. Link to post Share on other sites
millefiori Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by tiki I would call you a jerk, personally. :lmao: Joel, what's the purpose of your questions? Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by tiki I would call you a jerk, personally. Chooo Sweeeeeeeet Link to post Share on other sites
BrotherAaron Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Why don't you call these girls? It sounds like your nervous to take the next step, so you make excuses for why you shouldn't. How many dates have you been on? I'd wager it's a pretty low number. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 I used to do this all the time, especially in college. The thrill is probably more exciting than the kill, but now that I'm working and making money and trying to be a responsible adult, it just doesn't appeal to me anymore. I'd rather chill... Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by joel what am i called A dork! Joel you finally got a number.. for Godsake call one of them Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Yeah, whatever possessed you to not call once you finally got the digits?! Why ask if you're not going to call? Games are no good, man! Link to post Share on other sites
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer The thrill is probably more exciting than the kill That is why he is doing it .. All guys have done it at one time in their life.. I was in my 20's when I did stuff like that. It's all about the chase sometimes Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted July 14, 2005 Share Posted July 14, 2005 Hey, both guys and girls do it - I still do it sometimes, though it's not because I'm consciously playing a game. I just get phone numbers from girls who I think are attractive to the eye and who I think might be worth my time later. Sometimes, I change my mind. Sometimes, I get a few more phone numbers from girls who interest me even more. Joel, congrats on getting phone numbers - that's the first and maybe the biggest step, right? Summoning up the courage to ask a girl out when your confidence isn't all that high isn't easy, but if you do it enough you can break the bad cycle and your confidence will grow. NOw having said that, you still have some ways to go my friend. Getting digits and not calling is understandable if you're already dating a few women (prospecting), but if you're sittin' at home alone on Friday and Saturday and you've got phone numbers in hand, that's pretty hard to figure out. Call - at least one of them. Call and set up a date, like coffee or something one afternoon/evening. If you get rejected, just get another phone number. Link to post Share on other sites
XNemesisX Posted July 14, 2005 Share Posted July 14, 2005 Maybe Joel is just wanting to hear that he's a player to boost his ego! I have read your past posts Joel and it confuses me as to why you would not call someone who gave you her number. Are you just scared of the rejection or scared to see it might be the wrong number?! Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted July 14, 2005 Share Posted July 14, 2005 Okay Joel. YOU ARE SUCH A PLAYER. Better? Link to post Share on other sites
Forever Searching Posted July 14, 2005 Share Posted July 14, 2005 such a stud muffin!! Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted July 14, 2005 Share Posted July 14, 2005 Hey now, leave the boy alone. He's growing, learning. This process takes time, and we all start in different places. I've criticized him harshly in the past, but it seems like joel's finally taking some steps. Small steps, but steps nonetheless. The important thing, Joel, is not to stop, but to keep moving on, to keep taking more risks and actually asking girls out on dates, and then actually going out on dates. Honestly? You'll probably f*ck up right and left at first. You'll probably come across as desperate, as someone who's too shy and too self-conscious at times. But so what?! That's how you learn about yourself and other people. You'll eventually get to a point where you realize that dating is a social skill that times some practice. Some are naturals, but many of us need to do our homework. The best thing you can do is to do what you're doing now. Get the numbers, and start calling and see what's out there for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Opium Posted July 14, 2005 Share Posted July 14, 2005 I don't think you're any of the above. A player would actually go out with the girsl and "PLAY" them, you just don't call, so to me it's a guy who really wasn't interested. That's all, so sorry if I didn't feed your EGO cause it sounds like you have one. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted July 14, 2005 Share Posted July 14, 2005 Yeah I don't think you're being taught the correct way to go about acting like you're interested in a woman. Sorry, but you wouldn't come off 'interested' in any way if you did that to me. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted July 14, 2005 Share Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by Opium A player would actually go out with the girsl and "PLAY" them, you just don't call, so to me it's a guy who really wasn't interested. Very true. Check out How to be a Player with Bill Bellamy... now that guy was a player. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted July 14, 2005 Share Posted July 14, 2005 If I give my number to a guy, it doesn't mean I expect him to call me. Hell, I'm even more glad that he doesn't. It doesn't mean that he's supposed to call me either. Maybe he's a picker when it comes to dating. I won't go out with a guy I just met and gave my number - I should say "anymore", I guess . In the mating game, you're free to play by whatever rules you feel like. The ultimate rule being "there are no rules" ! Link to post Share on other sites
blue16 Posted July 15, 2005 Share Posted July 15, 2005 It's one thing to get a girls number who'm you might be interested in then change your mind later and not call. Theres nothing wrong with that IMO. However, if don't have interest in any of these girls and you are just getting numbers to boost your own ego...that's pretty lame IMO. I mean you're headed in the right direction by getting numbers, but if you have no intention of following through then you should rethink what you're doing. Link to post Share on other sites
what456 Posted July 15, 2005 Share Posted July 15, 2005 What is a player? A guy that sleeps with many girls? what is it mean when you got played? Link to post Share on other sites
XNemesisX Posted July 15, 2005 Share Posted July 15, 2005 A player is a cheat...dates more than one person at a time. Uses and discards people.... Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted July 15, 2005 Share Posted July 15, 2005 Originally posted by what456 What is a player? A guy that sleeps with many girls? what is it mean when you got played? Are these rhetorical questions? Link to post Share on other sites
what456 Posted July 15, 2005 Share Posted July 15, 2005 uses as in haves sex? Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted July 15, 2005 Share Posted July 15, 2005 Originally posted by tiki I would call you a jerk, personally. Thank you so much for that. My friend does this (or at least says he does). He flirts with girls a lot, and I finally got him to admit that he gets their numbers.I always teased him about how big of a flirt and a player he was, but he aways said I had no way of knowing because I hadn't seen him. I only got him to admit to getting numbers when I saw him talking to a lot of girls at a club. He even flirted with one girl he works with so much that she told one of my friends who works at the same place that he liked her. But he says he's not really interested and never calls them. (I don't really believe that, but I gave him the benefit of a doubt.) I told him it was kind of a mean thing to do, because the girls might take it seriously (especially the 17 yr old he works with), but he just didn't get it. I think it's a pretty jerky thing to ask for a girl's number if you have no interest in calling, so is flirting excessively. Guys don't like it when girls tease them like that, so why should it be okay for them to do it. Oh, and Joel, I think the others are probably right. It sounds like you're not calling because you're too scared and intimidated to call. If there's a girl you like, call her. If you're talking to a girl who you're really not interested in, just don't ask for her number. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 I told him it was kind of a mean thing to do, because the girls might take it seriously (especially the 17 yr old he works with), but he just didn't get it. It's better to have phone numbers you don't want than it is to want phone numbers you don't have. Maybe you're interested just enough to get a phone number, but you realize that there's someone else you are more interested in. I've gotten phone numbers before, only to call the girl up to find that she has no interest in seeing me. Not every phone number he gets is going to be from someone who's interested in him, yet people are saying that he should only get phone numbers if he intends to call. Maybe he intended to at first, maybe he get, um, well, distracted by someone more compatible. Maybe he just changed his mind - men can do that, too, ya know. Point is, it's a numbers game. He's got to get numbers in order to set up the date, and he's got to get lots of them to increase his chances of finding someone he's compatible with over the long term. You may not like it, but that's the law of the dating jungle. I think it's a pretty jerky thing to ask for a girl's number if you have no interest in calling, so is flirting excessively. Guys don't like it when girls tease them like that, so why should it be okay for them to do it. The bottom line is that neither the guy nor the girl likes to hear that the person they like isn't interested in them. Sorry, but if you play the game of love, you're going to be disappointed from time to time. I'll even go further and say it's okay if Joel's trying to pump up his ego a little. I mean, that's not the sole purpose of getting phone numbers, but I don't see a problem with him practicing his sales pitch on someone he might be interested in. Whether or not he follows it up is something he has to decide. Link to post Share on other sites
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