Author queenie01 Posted July 18, 2005 Author Share Posted July 18, 2005 Too much time has passed for me to say anything related to our relationship now. I really think he just got scared and ran and sadly enough had he told me that I would have understood. Instead I got a lame ass excuse saying “something was missing” I hate to inform him but the blissful stage of a relationship doesn’t last forever and he is young so doesn’t understand and I think he is looking for perfection in a relationship which doesn’t exist. All his characteristics are characteristics of a commitment phobic person. I think the only way for me to get closure is to walk away just like he did, pretend he is non existent. I did see him as the one and we had future plans. We talked about him buying his townhouse and me renting mine out and moving in with him then both of us sell ours and buy a house, all this he had even shared with his mother along with how much we would be able to afford together. I have no desire to date anyone else, at least not yet but its only been 2.5 months. I think the only way for me to move on is to have him out of sight completely, therefore I have changed my gym schedule even tho I don’t want to. Its not fair for him to be able to see me everyday at the gym while im dying on the inside. He is getting what he wants, he can look at me etc… Link to post Share on other sites
francis Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 I think if he emails you again in this period of NC, you must confront him with his intentions and tell him to stop emailing you unless he is ready to discuss a reconciliation, otherwise you are not interested...then you may find out his true motive and feelings... but dont be afraid that if you don't contact him on his birthday then you will wipe any chance of getting back together. what your focus must be is YOU and your life without him... If he doesnt react at your non acknowledgement, you're over one more hurdle to getting over him with your dignity intact. If he does, then you must again, query his motives with him. think about this, if you contact him on his birthday and he doesnt respond, you are gonna feel like poo and its gonna set you back a long way. Protect yourself Queenie, otherwise you are just thrashing yourself against a brick wall again and again. I wish I could give you a big hug! Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted July 18, 2005 Author Share Posted July 18, 2005 I guess you are right, I was thinking that if he does email me maybe I should just ignore his email or respond by saying what is your point, there is no point in us talking anymore as far as I can see. Its hurting me more to hear about his life and how “great” it is… I do think that if a persons life is sooo great and they are so happy that they really don’t tell you about it. Funny you say that because I did sort of feel like by me not acknowledging his bday I would ruin any chances of getting back together. I think you are right tho, I need not worry about that. Everytime I talk to him or see him it sets me back, that’s why I am playing my little houdini role now, where I have disappeared. You’re so sweet…. Link to post Share on other sites
francis Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 if he does email you, don't reply. won't hurt to keep him dangling but only if you can forget him. don't play games coz you will keep on getting hurt. if he persists after that, then is the time to tell him to leave you alone and respect your feelings and that you are not ready to be friends yet, but if he wishes to discuss his feelings or the relationship, to suggest a time to meet and talk properly. remember, it's about you mending yourself...and taking care of yourself now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted July 18, 2005 Author Share Posted July 18, 2005 Yes you are right!! Had I only listened to all my friends before and NOT RESPONDED to him when he emailed me to see how my vacation to Los Angeles was.... Im so dumb! But at the time i was thinking that if i didnt respond i would lose all chances of possibly getting him back. The reality of it is....he doesnt want me back. He has done a 180 with his life since we broke up.... very strange! Link to post Share on other sites
francis Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 it is strange, and heartbreaking that you think you know someone and that you can be so close to someone and they can suddenly switch their feelings off like switching off a light. i know it sounds cliched, but do you think that is the difference between men and women...men choosing to be emotionally unavailable and women making choices based on how they feel...i hate to say this, but it's just an attempt at explaining it... my ex was always so rational and matter of fact about things, and says that our break up 'is best for us both right now'...argh...like he's come to this sensible conclusion where feelings have no influence. cheers for that, so glad you know what's best for both of us! it's time to give yourself some good loving instead...you placed your trust in him and he let you down...and you may find it impossible to ever trust him again in the future because he did this to you. Link to post Share on other sites
SexKitten Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall When people break up they don't break up and say " Let's break up but send each other cards " :lmao: exactly what i was thinking. the only time people want to contact an ex in this manner is to say "haha, i just made you think about me, neener neener." and not only that, but if he doesn't want to hear from you, it will ruin his birthday when you send a card. you obviously value his birthday for some odd reason. don't do it, queenie...don't be that guy. Link to post Share on other sites
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