Had enough

[spiderowl]

He's attached. He's always going to be putting his wife first, when it comes to his personal security that is. He knows you need him and so he can mess you about as he wishes. The only solution to this is for you to get out and stay away from him. Why should he have a wife, family and you? You don't seem concerned about the impact on his wife and family. This guy can never be totally yours and he mistreats you. You need to learn the characteristics of a good man so that you can recognise one in future.

[Lady2163]

I know you don't want judgments about the age difference, so believe me, I'm not judging. I was probably you to an extent.

 

I was seduced at age 16 by my married boss 20 years older than I was. He manipulated me at every turn. He never physically hurt me, but he destroyed my emotional and mental well-being and I didn't even know it. He was probably a pedophile and I'm still horrified that I never spoke out, because I'm pretty sure he did it again years after me.

 

And I know it's easy to judge by today's standards, but at age 16, I had never had a date, never been kissed, never held hands, never masturbated, I was naive. I wasn't even done growing. He even commented how great it was to watch and feel my breasts grow as I aged.

 

Icky.

 

The idea of a 16 year old girl with a 36 year old man possibly makes your stomach turn.

 

Most (but not all) people are in their best physical shape and look the best they will ever look before age 25. I'm guessing his girlfriend is closer to his age and she's had two kids. Her contents may have shifted during flight. She is not as good looking as you are. Her body is not as tight. She probably isn't as limber as you are.

 

I'm around 50 now. When I was 36-37 it started to hit me what MM had done. I had a step-nephew who was that age and I just couldn't imagine being intimate with him or his friends,

 

The age difference causes an unequal balance of power. Life experiences and knowledge put you at a disadvantage you don't recognize now. Throw in that this guy was essentially "teaching" you to expect the absolute very least of what he was able to offer and you're being groomed to be a side piece and a victim.

 

Through trial and error Chester the molester showed me how to please him. He'd never had a blowjob and I'd never given one. And we didn't have sex for a long time because of the whole pregnancy concerns. He was crazy about blowjobs, though.. He would make me feel sorry for him that his wife wouldn't do it and things were just so bad in the bedroom, he'd had a hard day, etc. Only because they felt SO good, if he had twenty minutes to spare, 19 minutes of those would be a blow job. I don't know how many times I heard, "next time, will be about you and only you." Well, naturally, because I wanted that orgasm again, I'd show up a couple days later....only to give another blow job and for him to run out of time. If I saw him ten times a month, I might get one orgasm.

 

Today, there's no f-ing way I'd tolerate that in a relationship. Not that I ever plan to be an OW again, but there's no way I'd tolerate that as a side chick. That is the difference between me at 16 and me at 50. You may think of yourself as strong, confident, poised and assertive, but at 22 you still have some communication skills, limit setting and other stuff to learn. It takes time to learn this stuff. 20 years ago you couldn't bake a cake, do long division or speak more than a few words. Believe it or not, even though you're 22, you're still going to learn a lot of life skills in the next 20 years.

 

And your guy already knows this. That's why people roll their eyes a bit at the age difference.

 

Good luck!