Jricky99 Posted November 20, 2016 Share Posted November 20, 2016 So the story is recently me and my girlfriend decided to have an open relationship we feel we dont need to be sexually exclusive. Kind of on here because we feel quite alone and unable to talk about it with anyone. My girlfriend has met a guy and slept with him a couple of times. I havent been with another woman yet because im busy with work. We are enjoying our new lifestyle but we cant talk to anyone about it and would love to meet some like minded people. Ideally we talked about it and would love to meet and talk with like minded couples. Are we wrong in what we are doing? What is everyones opinion we feel quite isolated from our friends as we cant talk about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted November 20, 2016 Share Posted November 20, 2016 Are we wrong in what we are doing? What is everyones opinion we feel quite isolated from our friends as we cant talk about it. If it works for the two of you and you're not hurting anyone else - why do you care. ??? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jricky99 Posted November 20, 2016 Author Share Posted November 20, 2016 it would be nice to meet a couple with the same mind set to chat about it thoug. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 20, 2016 Share Posted November 20, 2016 If you two are happy who cares what anyone else is thinking. Have you googled swingers forum. You should find like minded people on one of them. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 If you felt it was ok you should have no problem talking about it with people in real life. Also be prepared to find that your GF will have unlimited opportunities to hook up and your chances will be hard to come by. Can you handle that inequity? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kvolm2016 Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 What do you feel are the benefits of an open relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 What do you feel are the benefits of an open relationship? Variety and excitement. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 So the story is recently me and my girlfriend decided to have an open relationship we feel we dont need to be sexually exclusive. Kind of on here because we feel quite alone and unable to talk about it with anyone. My girlfriend has met a guy and slept with him a couple of times. I havent been with another woman yet because im busy with work. We are enjoying our new lifestyle but we cant talk to anyone about it and would love to meet some like minded people. Ideally we talked about it and would love to meet and talk with like minded couples. Are we wrong in what we are doing? What is everyones opinion we feel quite isolated from our friends as we cant talk about it. In case you haven't figured it out yet, your girlfriend is going to have no problem meeting other people ( men) because 95% of men could care less is a woman has a boyfriend or husband if no strings sex is available. You are going to find out the hard way that it will be 95% the opposite for you as far as opportunities. if you did any research you should already know that and you being busy at work does not have a damm thing to do with it. you ought to go to a swingers club. it will somewhat even up the odds for you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 Your GF will score at least 5x the number of partners you will just by being a female and having a pulse. You got the short end of the agreement. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 What do you feel are the benefits of an open relationship? Being able to fully interview new potential new primary partners without unnecessary drama caused and avoiding that nasty period of being single between relationships. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lovemebreakme Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 I think the fact you are posting on here, makes me suspect you may not be 100% on board but rather going along with it to save a relationship. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lovemebreakme Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 What do you feel are the benefits of an open relationship? I honestly don't see any. If I wanted multiple partners I'd have a roommate and go to the bar to find hookups. But that is just me personally. I find open relationships, especially if the relationship goes from exclusive to open is a can of worms ready to erupt. Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 My wife and I were very active swingers for several years and still dabble in it somewhat although I mostly consider myself a retired or armchair swinger now. While swinging is not exactly the same as an open marriage/relationship, I think it's safe to consider myself somewhat "like minded." Let's start with some basic facts here. You are probably being taken for a ride here. I understand a guy's interest in having some variety and extra excitement etc, but lets consider some cold, hard facts - - Fact number one is every living, breathing male on planet earth, all 3.3 billion of them will gladly line up and bang the beejezuz out of some gal under 300 lbs with no visable oozing, festering sores on her jay-jay that says she wants some NSA action and her BF is OK with it. If she is over 300lbs and does have festering sores that smell like decaying skunk guts, that number will drop to only 2.75 men that will stand in line for her. But on the other, unless you are rock star, movie star, pro athlete or male underwear model, essentially no woman on earth will knowingly sign up to be your side piece so you can get some variety and extra excitement with your GF's permission. Women just aren't wired that way. (You would have better luck if you pretended to cheat on her, but that is another topic) Another fact it is that is rare for an unmarried woman in a serious relationship to want to open that relationship up to outside parties unless- - A. She already is in love with someone else and is just securing that relationship before dropping the ax on the previous one and is using the open relationship as a smoke screen. or - B. She really isn't serious about the current relationship as she pretends to be and is using the open relationship as a smoke screen to go back on the market and find a new love interest(s). or occasionally - - C. Current BF is a good beta boy that provides her with resources and comfort and rubs her feet and tells her how awesome she is and changes the oil in her car and gives her shopping money etc etc but he is a complete dud in bed and does not turn her on in the slightest and she is using the open relationship as a means to get her thrills and orgasms while BF pays for everything, until she finds a guy that is as supportive as he is but can still turn her on and get her off. It's one of those three things. There really isn't another reason for a young, single woman to be in an open relationship. There is no benefit for them to be in an OR unless one of those three reasons apply. Young, single women can benefit from being in a secure, exclusive relationship with the right man. And they can benefit from being free and single and available on the open dating market. There really isn't a tangible benefit for being in a consensually OR unless one of the above conditions exist. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 Are we wrong in what we are doing? What is everyones opinion we feel quite isolated from our friends as we cant talk about it. Not wrong at all if you're not hurting anybody and everyone's on board. You should be able to talk about it w all the new partners, right? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 You should be able to talk about it w all the new partners, right? The OP hasn't had any new partners. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 Well, Jricky99, the devil is in the details, as with most things that are complicated. If you and your wife can find a balance that works for you both, that's really what matters. If one of you feels that it isn't balanced, or unfair, then you'll need to change things or end the experiment. Having had an open relationship for over 16 years, we've found a balance that works for us. I'd probably be unhappy with the arrangement if I didn't have as many opportunities - and that would typically be the case. However, to make it work at all, she has decided to have restraint and be very selective in finding partners, and in the frequency of seeing them, so that things balance out. Otherwise, it wouldn't work for either of us - or not if we want to stay together, which we assuredly do. We both get what we want - occasional variety - but without the tensions that could result. IMO, if you both want variety but are concerned about balance, then swinging is a better option, as you do it together. We've done that as well, and it is certainly easier - other than finding another couple where both are reasonably attractive so we can both enjoy an encounter. Link to post Share on other sites
BoaConstrictor Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 (You would have better luck if you pretended to cheat on her, but that is another topic) I cringed when I read this but you are absolutely, freaking right. Sigh. I despair for my own sex. I am currently working my emotions out of an emotional affair, and I have to admit that the thought of an open marriage crossed my mind multiple times during this process. It was/is purely selfish in the sense that I wanted to continue to have the security of a long term marriage and the excitement of a new relationship. But everyone here is absolutely right. I would be a pretty raw deal for my husband, since I am far, far more likely to find someone to sleep with, aside from the OM I've already got in the ether. If you're young/in your twenties, I would seek out older women 30+. That might be your demographic, if you're just looking for sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Doorstopper Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 - Fact number one is every living, breathing male on planet earth, all 3.3 billion of them will gladly line up and bang the beejezuz out of some gal under 300 lbs with no visable oozing, festering sores on her jay-jay that says she wants some NSA action and her BF is OK with it. If she is over 300lbs and does have festering sores that smell like decaying skunk guts, that number will drop to only 2.75 men that will stand in line for her. This is one of the funniest things I've read all week. It's a sad but true fact. Link to post Share on other sites
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