Sunkissedpatio Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 I travel a lot. And i worked a way out for her to make a living, really not doing much and following her passion. But she had to really work on it for a bit. Every day she was upset I wasn't there and i was pushing a rock up a hill trying to tell her not to lose faith, carry on with what she was doing. It was actually pretty exhausting for me. And we definitely did drift apart. I wasn't there for her. But then she wasn't in a good head space. The stuff that happened to her traveling scarred her n she was crying to sleep every night. But i literally learned all this like 4 weeks ago after this all went wrong. But she did ask me at that point where I saw it heading. I said that i want to be with her but it isn't possible in this moment so keep going with what you're doing. And I guess right there is where the switch turned off. Well this is a bit different from all the stuff you posted yesterday, how many times did I ask you what her deal was? At any rate, you are totally right. High time to move on. I have a feeling you will hear from her again. Time to go NC and start healing. No relationship is ever one or nothing, it takes 2 for dynamics to develop and I'm generally hesitant when people start throwing psychiatric labels for their partners and blaming some social mental disorder for the problems in a relationship. Everyone plays a role even though some decisions that are detrimental to the wellbeing of a relationship are made individually. It was nice meeting you Slimtripper. Take care and definitely go travelling somewhere hot and post the beach pictures and make us all jealous. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Slimtripper Posted November 25, 2016 Author Share Posted November 25, 2016 Well this is a bit different from all the stuff you posted yesterday, how many times did I ask you what her deal was? At any rate, you are totally right. High time to move on. I have a feeling you will hear from her again. Time to go NC and start healing. No relationship is ever one or nothing, it takes 2 for dynamics to develop and I'm generally hesitant when people start throwing psychiatric labels for their partners and blaming some social mental disorder for the problems in a relationship. Everyone plays a role even though some decisions that are detrimental to the wellbeing of a relationship are made individually. It was nice meeting you Slimtripper. Take care and definitely go travelling somewhere hot and post the beach pictures and make us all jealous. Nah i would say it definitely was 90% my fault still lol. And i accept that and will make sure that im aware of that for my next relationship. Yea thanks for taking the time! If you ever need male advice u know where i am. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Frozensushi Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 (edited) A few of us advised to walk away, thats because we've been through this and know that it can never, ever work if you allow yourself to be in the position of waiting by the phone. My Ex told me she wanted space. For 3 weeks I waited, patiently. During that time she sent me encouraging texts like "Don't worry everything is going to be okay." and "Don't give up". Every day, I fought off anxiety and panic. I finally couldn't take it anymore and broke contact the day before her birthday as I wanted to give her the gifts I bought and a beautiful handmade card I made for her. When she opened her door and saw me holding a mountain of gifts, she said "What is this? What are you doing? I can't accept these". My heart plummeted, but like a foo,l I wouldn't take no for an answer. I left, feeling horrible. Another week went by and she made contact through text, only to harshly press my buttons. I finally stood my ground and it was exactly what she needed to end it. She gave me back the unopened gifts. She told me there was no one else. The pics she posted to FB on her birthday of her celebrating told another story. There was some guy I've never seen before next to her celebrating with her family (I know all her friends and Fam). 2 weeks after the breakup, I was informed by a mutual friends she was indeed dating this guy. I wish I had the strength to have just walked away with my head held high, but I fed off every little breadcrumb she threw my way. In hindsight, the writing was on the wall. I could have walked away with my dignity and my self-respect intact. Letting her torture me for 3+ weeks just to end it really messed me up. If I had been able to just be a man, walk away with integrity knowing I didn't allow her to continue, after everything she'd done, hold so much power over me, I probably wouldn't have been shattered when she ended it. Lesson learned. One thing I've realized after reading so many threads here on LoveShack, is that these people know what they're talking about. I don't think, for the most part, anyone here is trying to be a pessimist, I think they are being a realist. Never hand your heart over to someone on a silver platter when they're backing off. If you have even one shred of self-respect, don't ever allow someone to have so much power over you, no matter how much you care for them. In the end, you will be the one suffering. Slimtripper, good luck. Hopefully, you will be able to apply what you've learned here when you're ready to love again. Good luck. Edited November 25, 2016 by Frozensushi Link to post Share on other sites
Sunkissedpatio Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 Yea thanks for taking the time! If you ever need male advice u know where i am. Definitely take you up on that! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts