Teenager trying to start trouble in a marriage.

[inhighwater]

Need some more advice. Names are changed for privacy.

 

Please keep in mind this has nothing to do with his female friend that I talked about in one of my other posts.

 

This is about a girl, Jenny, whom he has know for quite a while that has had a crush on him for sometime. Harry use to work with her mother whom he thinks of as a big sister and he thinks of Jenny as a little sister. Jenny is just a senior in high school. Harry has given her advice about things in life to protect her from the bad things. Well, Jenny just rebels again anything he says. So basically Harry got to the point that he told Jenny if she wanted to live her life that way then so be it it was her life and she will face the concrete when she comes crashing down. See Jenny is dating this guy that treats everyone like dirt. This guy has called Jenny's mother up on the phone and threatened Jenny's mom that she would not see Jenny ever again if she didn't back off. Harry is afraid that one of these days, this guy is going to treat Jenny like dirt and God knows what else he would do to her.

 

Harry came home the other day and was aggravated. I asked him what the matter was. He said Jenny called me. And I said to Harry, "And what is the problem with Jenny calling you?" Harry said, "I was busy trying to get some things down and I told Jenny I was busy and she just kept yacking and yacking. She asked me if I was married now? and I said yes and asked why her mom and the family did not come to the wedding? Jenny said that she thought it was two days before our wedding day. Jenny went on to ask me if I lived with my wife? I said, yes. Then Jenny said, "Oh!" then Jenny continued on to say, "You and your wife live at your mom's house?" I said, "No." I bought my own house. Then Jenny said at the end of our conversation that she was just calling to tell me that after graduation that she is moving in with her boyfriend. Harry said, I was busy and she knew that cause I told her and all she wanted was to tell me that she was going to be moving in with her boyfriend. Harry then said, "I just told Jenny, "It's your life do whatever you want." Harry said, "She knows I don't like the way that guy treats everyone. So why would she call me to tell me that she is moving in with him?"

 

Harry had told me a few weeks earlier that Jenny had got ahold of him just to tell him that she lost her virginity to this guy she is dating. Harry was like and why does she think I should know this or want to even know if when I don't like the way this guy treats everyone?

 

Anyone have an advice on why Jenny is contacting Harry to tell him all of this stuff? Does she still have a crush on Harry and think that it is going to make him jealous? Harry told Jenny a long time ago that nothing would ever happen between them that they would always just be friends. Or is she just trying to get back at Harry like maybe the way she is too with her mother because they all don't like this guy? Like she is trying to throw it in their face.

[inhighwater]

Harry has even gotten down right nasty and short with Jenny. She does not get a clue. Unfortuately, do to the fact of all the stuff Harry is involved in it's almost impossible for him to change cell phone numbers. So many very important people in our area have his number. And when she calls him she as I understand it calls from all kinds of different numbers that he doesn't know. But because of the fact that someone very important may be calling him with a number that he does not know, he has to answer all his calls.

[inhighwater]

UPDATE! Post: 4 | Quote:

 

Names are changed for privacy:

 

I am so sick of Teenage immaturity. I'm not talking about kids in their early teens. I'm talking about kids that are 18 years of age or very close to it. I am for teenagers having fun and having a good time but when it comes down to trying to start trouble in a marriage or even a relationship. That is SO wrong and SO immature.

 

Here is an update on the situation with Jenny.

We have not heard from Jenny since she called Harry with all the questions about him being married, now. Now, instead of us having to deal immature teenage Jenny, we are having to deal with her immature teenage friends.

 

My husband, Harry, and I went shopping one evening this weekend. We were in a very popular shopping center in our small community. We got to our car and Harry was trying to unlock his door so that he could unlock my door. We are still outside the car and we hear a voice from a short distance yelling out Harry's name. It was a teenage girl in the passengers seat of the car parked diagonally across from our parked car. She was in a car with another teenage girl and a teenage guy. They had been talking with two teenage girls in the car straight accross from them when we walked up to our car. Well, the teenage girl that yelled out Harry's name said something to him but I could not make it all out. Harry and I got into our car and before I could get a word out, Harry says, "What was that all about?" And I said to Harry, "I couldn't hear everything she said." Harry said, "She asked me if she could tell Jenny that I (from Harry) said hi (to Jenny)." Of course the whole time this teenage girl was trying to talk to Harry, he kept giving her funny looks like "who are you and what was that all about". I told Harry, "Why would she need to do that when you know how to get ahold of her if you wanted to say hi." Harry said, "That's what I was thinking."

 

Harry and I both said the teenage girl could be trying to be nice but we also both said that she could be up to no good, too. We thought it was a very unusal question for a person to ask someone.

 

Harry said he didn't recongize the teenage girl at first when she yelled his name but after she said Jenny's name, he remembered that Jenny may have brought her into his old work once with her but he didn't remember her name or even if he was told her name. Remember Harry use to work with Jenny's mom at his old work.

 

Rumors get spread very easily thru our small community and Harry is a very highly respected man. I just hope these kids are not up to something stupid that could hurt Harry's rep. I'm not worried at all about our marriage cause I know where we both stand and also Jenny was told by Harry a long time ago, before Harry and I met, that nothing would ever happen between Harry and her and that they would only just be friends. There for a while Harry and I did have some communications problems but we are working that out and everything is going great!

 

What are these teenagers up to? Any advice is greatly appreciated!

[inhighwater]

Names are changed for privacy:

 

We are getting Harry's cell number changed. We are just going to have to deal with the fact of having to update everyone on the new number. He needs a new cell phone anyways and with a new phone and new plan he will get a new number. I did not want to let a teen control my husband and I's lives but I guess we will have to do the best we can to stop the immature teenage games. This should permanently stop Jenny from calling Harry. Now, what to do about her teenage friends bothering Harry in public. That's another story!

 

Sorry, that this is such a long post. I only got replies from two people on this situation when I first posted it. I would like to know what more people think about what my husband and I should do about this situation?

[crazy_grl]

Who knows what teenaged girls are thinking. They're pretty much all nuts.

 

But I think Harry should not ever spend any time with these girls alone, and should avoid them as much as possible. I know he can't avoid her calls, but he should get her off the phone as quickly yet politely as possible. And he should avoid any situations that might give them opportunity to accuse that he had any kind of inappropriate contact with them. I say all of them, because if Jenny does like him, one of her friends might decide to get back at him for not liking her by making up lies about him.

[shygurl]

How old is your husband?

 

Do you know for sure your husband hasn't done anything with this girl to lead her on? This whole story seems very odd.

 

If he used to work with her Mom, why doesn't he just call up her Mom and explain to her that this is way out of hand and he'd appreciate it greatly if she could speak with her daughter before he contacts the authorities about this direct and indirect harassment. Why he didn't do this a while back is beyond me - unless there's more to this story than you know about / he's telling you.

[inhighwater]

My husband is pushing 30's flowers up.

 

Harry has talked with Jenny's mother but here is the thing. Jenny is very rebellious to her mother plus Jenny is now 18 and moved out of the house and in with her boyfriend. Her mother has tried to talk to her but she will not listen to anything her mother tells her.

 

The only thing that Harry is guilty of is being a nice person. I know 200 percent positive that he never said anything or did anything to lead Jenny on. It is not just Harry that knows that she has a crush on him. It is several other people that know it, too, and they know how obsessed she is about Harry. Harry had worked at his old job for several years with Jenny's mom. Jenny's crush on Harry came on when she was young. Jenny's mom and Harry thought that it was cute at first cause she was just a kid at the time but now it has become annoying. Jenny had a hard life. They thought Jenny's crush for him would fade away. See Jenny's father was into illegal subtances so Jenny's mother raised her. Jenny never had like a male figure to look up. Jenny would come to her mom's work a lot so of course she got to know all her mom's co-workers which included Harry. And she looked up to Harry. When Jenny's mom would have problems with Jenny she would try and handle them herself but Jenny would get rebellious against her. So since Jenny's mom knew that Jenny looked up to Harry and Jenny's mom liked Harry's beliefs and values, Jenny's mom asked Harry to talk to Jenny and see if he could get her to listen to him. And Jenny would listen to him. So therfore on when Jenny's mom couldn't take care of a problem that she had with Jenny, she would ask Harry to talk to Jenny. You could say he was trying to play daddy to Jenny.

 

Now, that I think of it. Jenny did not start rebelling against Harry until him and I started seeing each other.

[EC]

Im sorry but its all to weird. I still think that Harry had a thing with Jenny.

[inhighwater]

If that was fact! Jenny's mom would have had my husband in prison. Cause Jenny just turned legal age recently. Harry told Jenny several times that him and Jenny would only always just be friends. I didn't post in this section cause I thought my husband was cheating on me. I posted her cause Jenny is jealous of Harry and I.

[EC]

Well then you have a really obsessed teenager and its up to 'Harry' to have told her not to call him in the first place.

 

Im glad that you have changed the cell number. That is the first step, but does Harry still work with the mother? Because if so then Jenny can easily get the number again.

[inhighwater]

No, he does not work with Jenny's mother anymore. He quit that job at the end of last year.

 

You hit it right on the head, OBESSED TEENAGER!

[CurlyIam]

Why do you let this girl become such a problem? Why do you give her so much importance? What's she doing, really? She calls your hubby, right? can't he simply hang up on her before telling her off?

 

Those teenagers are harassing you because they saw that they're bothering you. Make your husband tell them he's not Jenny's friend or their's and he certainly isn't Jenny's age, so they should chill out and leave him out of it.

 

Clear. Simple. To the point!!! Don't flip out like that, it really strikes me as if you were in denial - regarding Harry and Jen's affair. So an 18 years old is interested in your husband. SO???????

 

 

 

 

I think you're feeling threaterned, that's the root of your problem. Stop feeling threaterned and jealous and get over her contacting HArry. She's insignificant, she's nothing, YOU are the one transforming her into an issue. Learn hw to deal with it.

[inhighwater]

I'm not threatened by Jenny at all. I just can't stand seeing my husband get mad over some teenagers obession. And when you just get married and you are trying to have a family. This teenage obession gets VERY ANNOYING not only to Harry but to myself. And also with those teens harrassing him, I don't want other people to think that Harry did have something more than friends with Jenny and hurt his rep. I care about my husband's rep especially when he is inconnent! All his family, friends, and Jenny's mother know he is innocent. So I wanted other peoples opinion on how to stop these teens.

 

So if you male best friend get "set-up" on a rape charge and you knew he was innocent, would you just sit there and watch him be sent to prison? Come on, now!

[CurlyIam]

That's exactly the type f behaviour that WON'T make thse kids stop. Ths has nothing to do with Jenny, it's got to do with them annoying you. They love annoying grown ups. IT's fun, it's cool.

 

Be calm and treat it like it's no big deal. Once she sees she's getting NO response, maybe she'll get the idea.

 

If your husband actually has a good reputation, no Jenny and no phonecalls will ever change that.

 

 

 

If I were you, I woldn't like it if an 18 years old would start to be interested in my husband - btw, I'm not married or engaged, for that matter. IT's temptation, and some men find the idea of being successful quite alluring. As I said before, IMO, the best way to treat this is with CALM and rationality.

[SUNSHINE143]

When I was 15/16 years old I had an affair with a married man that was 26/27. His wife got pregnant and we still saw one another. In my defense I was too young to really know how wrong it was but thats water under the bridge now. I am not, be any means, calling your husband a cheater, but I know how me and my friends acting towards he and his wife. They were my bosses at the time so we all spent a lot of time together.

 

Again I want to stress I am NOT saying he is cheating but....

 

Just keep in mind that 10 times out of 9 there is a GOOD reason for peoples behavior and I guess there are only 2 people who really know.

 

If your relationship is strong you will get it fixed. Just stay as far away for all the kids involved it's not worth risking the chance of false accusations.