Duped8888 Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 I just found out my fiancé has been cheating with a coworker since a month before proposing to me. The coworker has provided me with texts of him telling her he loved her but he claims he was playing with her. I know most of what she is saying is true because its too specific. He says the typical "She meant nothing". Our relationship up until my knowledge to the fair was one other people longed to have. We were always together and were intimate several times a week. Yet, he found time to be with someone else. I can't even imagine how. If not for the text messages he sent her, I would not believe it. Everything this man did said that he love me. I can't believe he was able to pull this off for so long. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 Not marriage material. You don't move on this will be all on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 You already know he wasn't just playing, but even if that were true, do you want to spend your life with a man who screws with the minds and hearts of other people? Disrespecting you? etc. Better you find out now instead of after marrying him. I think you dodged a bullet. Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 I know it's hard not to take this personally but truly it really doesn't sound personal with him. He sounds like my cheating ex who simply did not have gratification delay and impulse control. Otherwise an okay individual but has the emotional control of a 5yr old. The result with these guys is that they just can't say no to temptation and nothing is more important to them than a quick thrill on the fly. Tell me, does he have problems with impulse control in other aspects of his life? Mine had big debts, which in the beginning he explained and made it sound like he'd learnt something from it. He hadn't. Poor impulse control is a big red flag because if he can't stop himself from say reaching for yet another shirt he doesn't need and can't afford to buy he certainly isn't going to turn down the attentions of another attractive female and prioritise your relationship over that. They just don't have it in them. It's not an excuse, it's something to be aware of in choosing future partners. It also makes the whole experience less personal really. Realising your partner can't rationalise his choices and just blindly follows his impulses puts it in perspective. It wasn't a conscious decision to betray you as much as it was his inability to master himself. So saying that you probably don't want to be marrying Mr Gotta have it now, because that's a recipe for a disasterous life. Leave him to do his growing up on his own and go find someone who's already learned this essential life skill. FYI thank his coworker, she did you the favour of the century by informing you of all this and giving you irrefutable proof that he's just not the guy to connect your life to. My own little kid in a man suit went on to knock some other chick up and I've no doubt her life is an absolute misery and he's now screwing someone else while she raises his child. Bullet, dodged. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 you are hurting, understandably so. In time, you will realize how lucky you were that you found this out before you got married and had kids. Now make everyone feel better and tell us he is your EX fiancée 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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