Do second chances EVER really happen?

[Tess]

You fall in love with someone..you fall out...

 

CAN YOU EVER FALL IN LOVE WITH THE SAME PERSON AGAIN?

 

I was just wondering if it really does ever happen.

 

I really think we're meant to be together..sometime..and I still love him..and I would wait as long as it would take if I knew there was a chance

 

Everyone says it doesn't happen-but has it?

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "Everyone says it doesn't happen-but has it?"

 

It happens, but rarely and almost never if you're sitting around just waiting for it.

 

Some of the time, love just goes dormant and it takes time for it to come back. Some married couples fall in and out of love with each other dozens of times over the course of their relationship.

 

But it's NOT a practical thing to wait for this to happen. You're unwillingness to face reality is working on you right now. The better thing is to go through the pain and healing process.

 

If in the future the opportunity presents itself and you want to risk going through this again with this particular guy, that's your call. But for now, best bet is to move on.

 

By the way, second chances seldom work. The same dynamics that caused the first break are usually still there. If your guy is fickle, it could be some time before he is in the mode for long term commitment.

 

The purpose of dating is to find the right person. You can't force this stuff. To be fulfilling, love should be mutual. When one of the parties calls it quits, that's as much a sign the process is working well as when both parties remain in love. When you find the right person, this won't happen.

[Ladybug]

With all due respect to Tony, I do believe that second chances happen. But, it takes both to realize the mistakes that were made, and to learn and grow from those.

 

So many times, we say - just move on. Yes, healing has to take place, but, often we just end up making the same mistakes in another relationship. And, when you love someone, we want that second chance with that person - not someone new. If we can't make that relationship work, then what makes us think we can make a go of a new one?

 

I know of a couple who just recently got remarried after having been divorced 2 years. And another couple, who are seriously working on their problems. There are many cases where it happens, so, I don't necessarily agree that it's always the best to move on. And, sometimes, we, or the other person, have to realize what we lost.

 

This is just my opinion, and taken from experiences of others.

YOU ASK: "Everyone says it doesn't happen-but has it?" It happens, but rarely and almost never if you're sitting around just waiting for it. Some of the time, love just goes dormant and it takes time for it to come back. Some married couples fall in and out of love with each other dozens of times over the course of their relationship.

 

But it's NOT a practical thing to wait for this to happen. You're unwillingness to face reality is working on you right now. The better thing is to go through the pain and healing process.

 

If in the future the opportunity presents itself and you want to risk going through this again with this particular guy, that's your call. But for now, best bet is to move on. By the way, second chances seldom work. The same dynamics that caused the first break are usually still there. If your guy is fickle, it could be some time before he is in the mode for long term commitment. The purpose of dating is to find the right person. You can't force this stuff. To be fulfilling, love should be mutual. When one of the parties calls it quits, that's as much a sign the process is working well as when both parties remain in love. When you find the right person, this won't happen.