Older family member setteling for lousey guy

[Poe77]

So im pretty much a orphan omg I cant believe i just said that never actually used that word but for lack of a better term I guess I am a adult orphan as both my parents passed however luckily I was always close to my Aunt she was actually more like a mom to me for most of my childhood then my own mother (mom had alot of issues and was fairly abusive) anyways so my uncle also passed about 10 years ago now wow I cant believe its been that long! time so fly's..so like 2 years ago now my aunt started using this dating service she met some err interesting guys one would really be surprised at how "older" folk's dont always have their lives together! when I say older im talking about in their 70s..

 

so she ends up going out with this one guy he seams ok at 1st but then I start hearing crap like hes kinda being mean to her at the start he was telling her he didn't like her and how she was fat "my aunt was a size 14-16" so she wasn't really fat persay she looked fine for a women her age imo. this really upset her of course and I spent more then one day on the phone with her in tears! so I figure this loser will be moving on but nope even tho he said he wasn't attracted to her blah blah he still went over her house and took advantage of her hospitality! she would cook him dinners and all and every time the jerk would show up empty handed.

 

she started going to a gym and got down to a size 6 for the dushbag and he ended up sticking around over time it sounds like he starting to treat her a little better over all but hes still playing mind games. for instance he has a entire set of friends he will not introduce her to these are people he goes and spends time with he will stay over this one lady's house in particular almost every week this of course upsets my aunt. but she told me that at this point and at her age shes just not expecting much anymore and that makes me so sad that she has settled for this old man who thinks himself a jiggilo and thinks he can disrespect her left and right..

 

and she thinks oh well its better then nothing!..so so sad my uncle will be rolling over in his grave..this all hit me more tonight as I called her back she had phoned me and I herd captain dingleberreys in the back ground shouting out crap it annoyed me cause I dont really care to have him in our conversations..UGH I guess this is really a rant its just kinda upsetting seeing a wonderful caring stable women who other wise has her head on well allowing herself to be taken advantage of by this dingleberry!

 

Despite my disdain for him im always respectful about him at this point tho ive told her I really dont care for him only cause of how hes treated her in the past..to be honest its hard being civil about him and when she goes on about him I want to be supportive but I also feel like im being fake and maybe not doing her any favors..it just kinda sucks over all as now hes there more and more and always when I call hes in the background these days UGH..jerkface! I know when hes there and being quiet cause shes kinda fake sounding if that makes sense its like why are you talking like that? ugh..I so dislike him and what hes done to her..

[windchime]

He does sound like a negative, rather than a positive, element in her life. Your aunt is an adult, and has to decide for herself to be rid of him. You can help with that, in a non-pushy way.

 

Have her consider the following question, originally posed by Ann Landers (newspaper advice columnist from years ago, twin sister to famous columnist 'Dear Abby'):

 

Is my life better with, or without him?

 

Along with thinking about that, you could research some social avenues she could explore to meet better quality men, like church groups, or free senior meet up groups via the library. She may just be lonely, and if financially able, she could live on her own, if all she is looking for is a social life of female friends - she may not even really need a man, just a social life of like minded friends (female). You could talk this over with her, over time. Repetition and gradual conversations on this topic might work best. Good luck