selinaluv Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 Hello, Question... would you give someone who ghosted on you a second chance? I dated this guy in March and we went out a few times. It was going really well until we got intimate and he and I both seemed to experience some anxiety from it. Could not be explained, but I think we fed off each other and had a misunderstanding. After that he pretty much disappeared. He sent one following text and even sent a text to me for another women. No big deal and I moved on. We both seemed to disable our profiles for a bit and are back on. Hence he emailed me through the dating site yesterday and suggested we go out again. I am tempted as strictly no expectations, but wondering if it is even worth my time. I did like him and we got on really well. Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 I would personally not go back for another round. If he can toss me once (even if mutual), he wouldn't be worth my time. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 If you can go in with zero expectations, then fine but if you have to post on a forum and if you like him, it would be best to pass. The probability of him doing it again is high and if you do take him back, the lesson he learns is that you are tolerant of being dropped whenever he feels like it. Go out and date men that are emotionally available. Don't look back. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Cheryl11111111111111 Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 (edited) Just remember that ghosting and advice are the lowest forms of conversation. A lot of people have big ego's in life. Some have other reasons. Most people don't have the control to leave a man they like, get better and return. That's strength and most people in this world, living life humans, are to messed up for strengths so I suggest it comes from ego. You should know already going into this, he doesn't have the highest form of communication. I wouldn't call it tossing. The love you guys have in your head is not real. It is no wonder so many people end up alone. Human beings, men and female are just that and make mistakes. I wouldn't hold a grudge but I would defiantly take this person of the pedestal and plop them into bad communication skills and high ego! Edited November 22, 2016 by Cheryl11111111111111 Link to post Share on other sites
Author selinaluv Posted November 22, 2016 Author Share Posted November 22, 2016 I think I can go in with zero expectations cause I can't forget what he did. I was fine staying away, but mildly curious as to why he came back. I know it comes down to other options didn't pan out... but he is good conversation, so that is a positive. My question perhaps is more of a general one, cause he isn't the only one actually doing this at the moment. Truth be told I have a couple. I don't know if it is the time of year or a coincidence, but it does happen with quite a few of the men. I have actually never given anyone a second shot, but always wondered in hindsight if I was being too harsh or missing out on something. Just wanted thoughts on how other people may handle it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author selinaluv Posted November 22, 2016 Author Share Posted November 22, 2016 Just remember that ghosting and advice are the lowest forms of conversation. A lot of people have big ego's in life. Some have other reasons. Most people don't have the control to leave a man they like, get better and return. That's strength and most people in this world, living life humans, are to messed up for strengths so I suggest it comes from ego. You should know already going into this, he doesn't have the highest form of communication. I wouldn't call it tossing. The love you guys have in your head is not real. It is no wonder so many people end up alone. Human beings, men and female are just that and make mistakes. I wouldn't hold a grudge but I would defiantly take this person of the pedestal and plop them into bad communication skills and high ego! Totally agree here, he is definitely not on the pedestal. I imagine it does come a bit from his ego and I am curious to see how much he pushes it. Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 This happened to me once. A guy ghosted and then a few months later, resurfaced, apologized, and we went out exactly two more times, made out in the front seat of his car, and he disappeared again. Oh, then he went and asked two of my roommates (OLD). I mean, maybe something would come of it, but don't hold your breath. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 I think I can go in with zero expectations cause I can't forget what he did. You can talk yourself into it. Yes, you can't forget what he did but when your emotions start creeping up again, it will be hard to maintain that boundary. My question perhaps is more of a general one, cause he isn't the only one actually doing this at the moment. Truth be told I have a couple. I don't know if it is the time of year or a coincidence, but it does happen with quite a few of the men. It's normal. They always come back when nothing else is going on. I have actually never given anyone a second shot, but always wondered in hindsight if I was being too harsh or missing out on something. Just wanted thoughts on how other people may handle it. Keep moving forward. You're not missing out on anything when someone is drops you just like that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author selinaluv Posted November 22, 2016 Author Share Posted November 22, 2016 This happened to me once. A guy ghosted and then a few months later, resurfaced, apologized, and we went out exactly two more times, made out in the front seat of his car, and he disappeared again. Oh, then he went and asked two of my roommates (OLD). I mean, maybe something would come of it, but don't hold your breath. Yeah, that is pretty much what I think will happen here... Link to post Share on other sites
ElizabethIII Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 I've just had a ghoster come back after 3 months. Not sure what to do either. Link to post Share on other sites
Shanex Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 (edited) Some men can be coward and fade away without much explanation, true. Being ghosted on does happen to us dudes too, but I'll grant the women that it's more a male thing. Why? Oh because he doesn't feel like it anymore, or he got what he wanted (if you know what I mean, vern). Then the guy out of a sudden come back. I can't relate to your story from my male point of view but don't give this person a second chance OP. He faded, he's back. He's unstable. My blind assumption is that he got no one to stick his willy in at the moment. Edited November 22, 2016 by Shanex 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 To answer your question: Absolutely....100%....NEVER Where are your standards girly? You know you can do better than this Dont settle just to have a warm body lying next to you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 I had a few ghosters coming back and when I gave them a second chance they use it to ghost again. They come back because they have nothing special going on and you happen to be in their contact list. He text you and probably a couple of other girls he dated previously. Now he's waiting to see which one will bite. But, don't take my word for it. You go ahead and check it for yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 Hello, Question... would you give someone who ghosted on you a second chance? I dated this guy in March and we went out a few times. It was going really well until we got intimate and he and I both seemed to experience some anxiety from it. Could not be explained, but I think we fed off each other and had a misunderstanding. After that he pretty much disappeared. He sent one following text and even sent a text to me for another women. No big deal and I moved on. We both seemed to disable our profiles for a bit and are back on. Hence he emailed me through the dating site yesterday and suggested we go out again. I am tempted as strictly no expectations, but wondering if it is even worth my time. I did like him and we got on really well. I've just had a ghoster come back after 3 months. Not sure what to do either. If they didnt respect you enough to treat you with respect and common courtsey the first time around.... Please tell me why you would allow them back into your lives? Respect yourselves & love yourselves FIRST! <3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 I think I can go in with zero expectations cause I can't forget what he did. I was fine staying away, but mildly curious as to why he came back. I know it comes down to other options didn't pan out... but he is good conversation, so that is a positive. My question perhaps is more of a general one, cause he isn't the only one actually doing this at the moment. Truth be told I have a couple. I don't know if it is the time of year or a coincidence, but it does happen with quite a few of the men. I have actually never given anyone a second shot, but always wondered in hindsight if I was being too harsh or missing out on something. Just wanted thoughts on how other people may handle it. Actually, a dating guru once said that yes, you should give ghosted another shot. But only the one. His premise was: it is OKAY if a guy is not super into you at the beginning. Apparently, some men are not exactly smitten by you so they give you a miss the first time around. Only to realise at a later date that they should give you a proper shot. Personally, I wouldn't give a guy another chance. I have tried that before. The only ghosted again as soon as they got sex:sick: I am also a dreamer. I want to hold out for a guy who is super into me and feels too excited about me to pass up the opportunity of getting to know me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author selinaluv Posted November 23, 2016 Author Share Posted November 23, 2016 Actually, a dating guru once said that yes, you should give ghosted another shot. But only the one. His premise was: it is OKAY if a guy is not super into you at the beginning. Apparently, some men are not exactly smitten by you so they give you a miss the first time around. Only to realise at a later date that they should give you a proper shot. Personally, I wouldn't give a guy another chance. I have tried that before. The only ghosted again as soon as they got sex:sick: I am also a dreamer. I want to hold out for a guy who is super into me and feels too excited about me to pass up the opportunity of getting to know me. That is what I sometimes think because I also have regretted not giving a certain man a further chance. Circumstances and timing could have been off. But I agree with your last paragraph and it is how I feel overall. I want him to be really into me the first time around, enough to not want to lose me or let me go. Not someone who fades away. I do get the vibe this one wants sex this time around. He is acting like it was much better then it was (when it really wasn't that great and he couldn't "perform"). So not exactly sure why he wants to give it another go. I will be passing because when I really gave it a thought about hanging out with him or being physical again with him, I ultimately had a disgusted feeling. When I think about all the ghosters I have that feeling. That is pretty much my answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 Ghosters already have one foot out the door.....at your own risk. Link to post Share on other sites
leogirl876 Posted November 24, 2016 Share Posted November 24, 2016 I won't give a ghoster another chance. This one guy ghosted me, the only guy I've ever been ghosted on. I was naive at the time when he came back thinking he was coming around, then for him to ghost again. Then a few months later he tried to come back, he's done that several times, but after he ghosted the second time, I've totally ignored him after that. I think once a ghoster, always a ghoster! Next please!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OatsAndHall Posted November 24, 2016 Share Posted November 24, 2016 Eh.. I've had two women drop out of thin air on me and I'd never think about dating them again. In this day and age it takes all of thirty seconds to shoot someone a text saying "Hey, I'm sorry, but this just isn't working out for me. Take care." It's the adult way to handle things. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 24, 2016 Share Posted November 24, 2016 Never, EVER. I have far too much pride and self worth to let any coward who ghosted me to ever have a second shot with me. Did I say never? Yep, never. If he couldn't figure out how good he had it with me the first time then it's his loss, forever. Adios amigo. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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