Suffering from depression after failing to approach a girl that clicked with me.

[Yonah]

I was reading a self help book that taught men about what women wanted, and it was for men that had trouble getting girlfriends. For about 12 years, the only type of woman I was attracting were women that I wasn't physically attracted to, and they had mental issues along with it. The book stated that it was my mentality that was causing it, and it said that I had to change my mentality in order to fix this issue. After reading this in the paragraph, I closed the book, and decided I wanted a girlfriend that looked like a fictional character that I had a desire for since I was a child. She was from a popular video game in the 90's, and I was attracted to her based on her looks and personality.

 

I was walking down an isle in a supermarket when it was very crowded with lots of people, and a girl that matched the identical description of the character I wanted all these years tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around, and we both had the "in love click", like the feeling when you're about to meet someone. We talked for about 2 minutes, and she hinted off that she wanted to meet me, and slowly walked away while she looked at me. I was going to approach her, but I had approach anxiety at this time, and I was unable to do it the whole 5 minutes this was taking place. I was scared, because I thought I was seeing something supernatural since this all happened 3 days after I read that teaching in the book about selecting a woman based on my desires. I thought I was seeing a ghost.

 

Ever since this incident happened, I have been under depression on and off. It is because I feel like I was on a deserted island for 12 years, and a cruise ship just came by, and I ended up missing it. You also have to understand that I barely got any female attention these whole 12 years because I psychologically blocked women out of my head until that point, so anybody in my shoes would have been shocked in this incident. I'm really depressed, because I wish I could turn back the clocks, and go back to that exact spot where I could have gotten that girl's number. She was Ukrainian, and she was on vacation with her friends.

 

I am religious, and I do pray to the creator every now and then. He revealed to me through prayer that I was going to find another girl that was similar to the one I missed, and said to be patient. I know for sure he's going to do this, because I met another girl with the same description not too long ago, but she didn't return my calls, because she was taken. I think the reason why I feel so sad is because I missed "the one" that was standing right there in front of me. I'm really trying to get rid of this sadness inside me, but it feels like it's eating me up every day that goes by, and it's destroying me.

 

All I wanted was to be happy, and I let that opportunity slip out of my hands. I'm 31 years old by the way. Was married once, then went through a divorce. I didn't really come in here to ask for advice, but to get this off my chest. I'm trying to be strong, and I know within myself that I have to have faith.

[Buddhist]

You know there's no limit to the number of times you can ask for something. Miss one cruise ship, another one will be along anyway.