xyz12345 Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 Hi all, I feel like I'm in cyber AA... This is the LDR I'm trying to move on from I've been NC for 13days now and I've pushed to move on. I spoke with his mom off and on and minimized contact as well with her over the past few weeks....Til today...she messaged me she missed me very much and I turned to mush. She said she talked to him and he said its just too much damage. after a chat with her saying one person couldnt make a relationship work and I tried for over a year. and he did push me away - I told her he has to want it but I believe he is with this chick and now I question everything, I have to do whats best for me.. She says she believes in her heart he still cares and loves me and did that to hurt me. She wants to talk to him cause she is upset by what he did. I told her love is not revenge, I question everything about him now. I have to do whats best for me. We broke up since back in July but post broke up broke up a month ago. I tried for weeks to talk to him then found out he was with someone. I've been verbally degraded to no end. After I went NC I pushed myself to heal. I met someone and we are ONLY chatting, small talk. Nothing serious.. (Wanna make that known). I just want to get to know him and take my precious time. He is also closer to my age.. Its like a mind mess up. Cause for the first time in a year I have someone who I dont have to tip toe around. I do still have the lingering anxiety of saying the wrong thing and being screamed at for days. But has any of you who've been thru this still have the other person in your veins? I see and realized alot of my past relationship. I see where I did go wrong and so did he. I see that I was more invested than he was. My heart still has not caught up with my head. Ive read up extensively on Narc and verbal abuse and emotional abuse. And have been just beaten down over the past year. And my head knows its not HIM I miss, Its the idea and what he faked. I just really want my heart to catch up with my head...Im not perfect by ANY means but I forwent my standards in somethings I wanted in a partner to be with this person and was still punished. I was told I was nothing..that he would forget me. Today I feel like I relapsed emotionally... Link to post Share on other sites
AT15 Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 It's ok. I was with a narc too. And it's just a healing process. One day you will balanced again and cringe when you think of all you endured. Abuse messes up your mind. So with recovery it's going to be a double healing. One thing that helped me was not thinking about what happened, but feeling the emotions the occurred by what happened. It helps the process of letting go. It's painful. It hurts, but one day the pain will be gone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xyz12345 Posted November 23, 2016 Author Share Posted November 23, 2016 It's ok. I was with a narc too. And it's just a healing process. One day you will balanced again and cringe when you think of all you endured. Abuse messes up your mind. So with recovery it's going to be a double healing. One thing that helped me was not thinking about what happened, but feeling the emotions the occurred by what happened. It helps the process of letting go. It's painful. It hurts, but one day the pain will be gone. Thank you so much for your encouragement, it really is as others have described. Coming off a drug. He laid it on thick in the beginning and while it took a while. Once I was hooked he switched and showed his true self and all I did was try to go back to how he was in the beginning. But that wasn't who he was. He baited me with my hopes of building a life and a family and used it against me. Being betrayed by two people back to back is a kind of hard pill to swallow. My wall is sadly right up. Link to post Share on other sites
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