Do men always come back?

[Kelley]

My ex cheated and left to start a relationship with her. He tried to come back when he realised the grass wasn't greener! By that time I have replaced the fence with barb wire! In other words I said F&**& off. I think most times when a relationship ends it ends. You need to get your life together and move on too. When you are healed and happy if he comes back would you really want him anyway?

[PrettyEmily77]

Not always true. I have to say, at this point, I know lots of couples who broke-up and later reconciled, some of whom later went on to get married! l've always believed pride and hurt combined with a break-down in communication (which can quite often, by itself be the sole reason for many break-ups in the first place) can actually prevent [/i what could otherwise be successful reconciations. Heck, I think we've all known of couples who are [i]clearly interested but who are not effectively communicating. I know I have!

 

For this reason, and from personal experience, I don't always agree with the almost standard response of 'Move on' as it's not always appropriate in every situation.

 

I too know of a few couple who broke up and later reconcile and then get married. Very, very few are still together now, and the one couple who I know to still be together for sure is having far more downs than they are having ups, for the exact same reason they broke up in the first place (incompatible communication styles).

 

I don't like general statements either yet can't think of one example where this 'coming back' worked for both parties - no doubt are there exceptions but then again, aren't there always...

[elaine567]

It also sometimes depends on how successful they are out in the wide world all on their own.

If in the meantime they have met the "love of their life" then they are unlikely to come calling, but if they are at a loose end, or are lonely or if single-hood is not all it is cracked up to be, or they need an ego boost, or they are horny, or they see an opportunity for some "extra" then of course they will be looking you up again.

Love may be a reason, but better to be aware of the other reasons before jumping in with both feet and then getting very hurt.

[TheWhittler]

Yeah, some people do try and 'come back' out of boredom / loneliness / lack of self-respect / suddenly 'seeing the light' / for the sex / addiction to drama.

 

Whatever the reasons, they shouldn't. Mostly because it's a doomed idea.

 

This is what I was going to say.

 

I seem to get many exes that try to come back. Not many that don't. Got one at the moment trying to come back. Would it work if we tried again? I doubt it. Sometimes people do not realise the good they have until they have lost it. But these people also tend to be very insecure and seem to mess up their lives a lot rather than work through their issues...

 

Who knows. Once the break is done I believe it often should stay broken.

[breakupthrowaway663]

It's much more likely for men to come back if they were dumped. If they were the dumper and it was because of GIGS, I'd say chances are somewhat alive that he will.

 

But if he was the dumper because of any serious reason chances are low.

[ilovemefirst]

If the relationship was good, usually they come back. But it all depends on how it ended and how the relationship was in general.

 

I've noticed they do not come back when we obsess about them. Believe it or not, men/women sense when the other is pining over them. The moment you let go of them,they sense it and start off by sending breadcrumbs. But again, i'm being general. It all depends on person to person.

[bewell]

It depends...

 

Some do and some don't. And the ones that return either just want to say hello and see how you're doing or they actually want you back. The ones that want you back would let you know what their intentions are. Otherwise don't get your hopes up. I am dealing with an X who keeps coming back and I can't stop him no matter what blocking I do. He's that persistent! Do I want him back? no, I don't. Maybe we can be cool and be friends but that's a gray area for me right now. The bottom line is, if they do come back it's more annoying than it is flattering and you will be dealing with a host of up and down emotions.

[erklat]

I tried with all my long term exes but it was out

of loneliness. I wanted to reignite romantic relationship

but I don't think it would have lasted.

[Shanex]

If I am dumped, no way. Though when we were still in touch and a few weeks past the breakup I'd have been tempted, but the relationship had run its course.

 

If I'm the dumper... no way either.

 

The only exception and it has been said in the thread already is, out of solitude an evening at the end of the week you feel like you could give a call to some ex, then think about it shortly to realize you better not.