Need Some Sense

[Phoneix]

Hi,

 

I met a guy early last summer and I liked him straight away, but then i found out that he had a long term girlfriend. We both have the same interests and get on great. There was always a lot of flirting but nothing ever happened. Then early this year we ended up getting intimate and have stayed that way since.

 

No one knows about "us" although we see each other a couple of times a week, alone and socially. He has said that he liked me from the moment he met me and now ended up involved with me but would never leave his girlfriend as he loves her too much. I am definitely involved with him and have no interest in finding anyone else. I have gone over all the reasons why i should finish it, but i still haven't done so. I know i am being incredibly stupid about all this but ....... Just had to talk about it.

[Tony T]

Well, since you now just how dumb it is; that you are getting deeper and deeper into some real hurt and pain; that you are robbing yourself of time you could be spending with a guy you could have a future with; that you are helping a guy cheat on the girlfriend that he loves; that since this guy isn't going to leave his girlfriend because he loves her, he is only using you for sex;

 

And since you know that you are living on the one-half percent hope that this may go somewhere one day; that you know dep down it's not every going to go anywhere ever; that you know this will end one day because his girlfriend will find out because you will do things to make that happen and he will dust you like at old shelf and be mad as hell at you forever;

 

And since you know that you are with him because you are terrified of being with a guy who might just want a relationship with you exclusively; that this guy could never be trustworthy even if you ended up with him because you would always wonder if he is cheating with another girl the same way he is cheating with you right now; that he could be seeing a third girl now and then and you could get some STD or even die of AIDS;

 

And since you know that it is difficult for you to live with your conscience on a day to day basis; that the law of karma says that one day, a guy you are with will pull this same cheating stuff on you and you won't even know about it; that each day you sink deeper and deeper into a big LIE; and that your admission of stupidity and your inability to actually win this guy sinks your self image and self esteem into new depths each and every day...

 

...since you already know all those things, I won't mention them. I'm glad you had the opportunity to just talk about it.

[namder]

No matter what this guy says, he`s not matching his words with actions. Do you always want to be second best?? I think you`re worth more, and you shouldn`t play second fiddle to another woman where love is concerned.

 

It would seem that this guy is playing a dangerous game to get his kicks. What happens if she finds out, dumps him, and he comes running to you. Would you really want him, knowing that he didn`t have the courage to leave this other woman for you in the first place.

 

Second best just won`t work, I thought women were attracted to men with inner strength, which he obviously doesn`t have. Think about what you want and what you fear, this is the only way you will be able to move forward and away from this two timing deceitful jerk.

 

Goodluck I know its hard.

[sparkle]

I couldn't agree more with Tony and namder.

 

Now that you've talked about it, it's time to actually do something about it. Have enough respect for yourself to get out of this situation. Feel confident enough about yourself to get out of it.

 

I can't offer you any other advice right now other than to get out of this so-called relationship.