I can't be a good person. I just can't!

[Springsummer]

I want to be a loving, tolerant person, but my mom has constantly made me realize that I just can't!

 

In fact, she makes me want to be a vile person! now, I really understand why some people are capable doing bad things.

 

She can just keep nagging for like half of a day if I didn't clean the kitchen timely or keep the the closet tidy! I keep silence most of the time, but then sometimes I just can't help exploded.

 

She is an extremely critical and negative person. She also drives my father crazy most of the time.

 

as much as I want to be a loving person, I just can't! In fact, I am loathing of her.

 

It's very sad indeed. but I can't manage to have any other feelings.

 

I am currently living with my parents. but I pay almost all of the expenses and buy foods and pay land tax. Actually it doesn't really save me money than moving out. but I am currently looking for a new job and most likely will not be in this city, so I don't want to move out then relocate again.

 

and I just bought a cat a few days a good. An extremely lovely cat, but she doesn't care for the cat either.

 

I don't understand why some people can just keep nagging and can't keep their mouth shut?

Edited November 24, 2016 by Springsummer

[Springsummer]

help! what should I do and think? I feel like I am on the edge of insanity.

[basil67]

There's nothing you can do except move out with your cat. Can you get a short lease somewhere?

[Superchicken]

As a father, with 2 kids (12, and 14) I have to tell you to put up with it.

My wife is the bossy person (Wow, what similarities with your family), and she drives me and the 2 kids nuts. No tolerance when dishing out commands. She like, calls out my son, "Chris, come here", and about 2 seconds (Yes, 2 seconds), she'll yell out the same command. I keep having to tell my wife to calm down, an understand they are kids. Kids do stupid and dumb things all the time. That's why people make references to "Stop acting like a kid". It works for a short time, but she slips back into "Witchy poo" mode.

 

 

But, in your case, you need to do exactly what your mum says.

Your under your parents roof, and their rules (Your mum's actually, even here sadly).

I find one thing always works for my kids against the "Sea witch" (My daughter started calling her mum this when she was 6, and he have been calling her this since. ) is to ask, if there was anything else she needed done.

Always initiate any work required, and make sure you say that it was the best you could do. But add, that you'll try and do it better/faster next time.

Basically, a little honey, keeps the bear sitting on its ass, and quite for a short time.

 

 

That or do what Basil67 said. Move out !.

 

 

Ted.

[UpwardForward]

I would say, Don't strive to be a 'Good Person'.

 

IMO, Get through life the best you can, and in the manner that's best for others, as well as yourself.

 

The worst and most audacious and destructive person I know, loves to make the call in telling others they are not good persons or that they are bad persons - and tells them so.

 

(I have to say though, that I don't care for cats, or any animals, and wouldn't want anyone bringing one home).

[UpwardForward]

As a father, with 2 kids (12, and 14) I have to tell you to put up with it.

My wife is the bossy person (Wow, what similarities with your family), and she drives me and the 2 kids nuts. No tolerance when dishing out commands. She like, calls out my son, "Chris, come here", and about 2 seconds (Yes, 2 seconds), she'll yell out the same command. I keep having to tell my wife to calm down, an understand they are kids. Kids do stupid and dumb things all the time. That's why people make references to "Stop acting like a kid". It works for a short time, but she slips back into "Witchy poo" mode.

 

 

But, in your case, you need to do exactly what your mum says.

Your under your parents roof, and their rules (Your mum's actually, even here sadly).

I find one thing always works for my kids against the "Sea witch" (My daughter started calling her mum this when she was 6, and he have been calling her this since. ) is to ask, if there was anything else she needed done.

Always initiate any work required, and make sure you say that it was the best you could do. But add, that you'll try and do it better/faster next time.

Basically, a little honey, keeps the bear sitting on its ass, and quite for a short time.

 

 

That or do what Basil67 said. Move out !.

 

 

Ted.

 

OP says he/she is paying for the food and property taxes of the household.

 

I would think this could afford some respect as well as privacy.

Edited November 28, 2016 by UpwardForward

[mikeylo]

She is unhappy with her own personal life, whatever it is - maybe her husband ? and you don't know the entire story. Or she is using this attitude to make you move out asap.

 

Sorry , but some patents don't deserve to be parents.

[Superchicken]

OP says he/she is paying for the food and property taxes of the household.

 

I would think this could afford some respect as well as privacy.

 

Yeah, I must have not read that to deeply.

Still, I would at least try it with a little honey, and if its not going anywhere, I would think a move may just be the right move.

 

 

Ted.

[Tayla]

Keep telling yourself you "can't" ...and sure enough that becomes your mindset and actions. Limiting yourself ...when expanding is also a viable option.

 

Gain that adult voice. Stern, forthright, and palatable.

 

I can say with good intent that you and you alone are worthy of respect in a place that one calls home.

[chloemn]

TO my mind, person can not always be kind and tolerant, they need to express their true feelings.

[Miss Clavel]

I want to be a loving, tolerant person, but my mom has constantly made me realize that I just can't!

 

In fact, she makes me want to be a vile person! now, I really understand why some people are capable doing bad things.

 

She can just keep nagging for like half of a day if I didn't clean the kitchen timely or keep the the closet tidy! I keep silence most of the time, but then sometimes I just can't help exploded.

 

She is an extremely critical and negative person. She also drives my father crazy most of the time.

 

as much as I want to be a loving person, I just can't! In fact, I am loathing of her.

 

It's very sad indeed. but I can't manage to have any other feelings.

 

I am currently living with my parents. but I pay almost all of the expenses and buy foods and pay land tax. Actually it doesn't really save me money than moving out. but I am currently looking for a new job and most likely will not be in this city, so I don't want to move out then relocate again.

 

and I just bought a cat a few days a good. An extremely lovely cat, but she doesn't care for the cat either.

 

I don't understand why some people can just keep nagging and can't keep their mouth shut?

 

because it's their house, comes to mind. you are no longer just their child, you are their tenant, a roommate. which requires you to make yourself scarce and remove all traces of your presence in a timely manner.

 

no way any of mine will have a pet that i don't approve of. and i detest cats, sorry, so does my dog. which their father adopted and then abandoned.

 

you say that by calculating what you chip in, it comes to almost the same amount as living on your own, minus cat food and care, move out.

 

or find away to get along. which would mean treating them as your landlords.

 

a good rule with landlords is never attract their attention.

 

believe me, if you landlord requires you to do something, legally, and you do not comply in a "timely manner" you will get a three day vacate order.

 

and be sure to look in your lease before you sign it.

 

some don't allow pets and at a minimum, have to be agreed on before you even move in.

 

 

 

 

 

 

good luck