lae Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 This has been troubling me for over 6 years now. In August 2010 I developed a serious crush on a guy at my college and in December we started a love affair. It turned out he was a young professor at my college, and I happened to be one of the older students (at the time, I was 23 and he was 36). A few weeks into our fling, he told me he was married. I was crushed. He explained, however, that his wife and him were in an open marriage, and so I agreed to continue seeing him - I was young and naive and in love, what can I say. He even said he was going to leave his wife, all that cliche stuff. Fast forward a few months, in March 2011 I got an angry email from his wife, saying she read all of our correspondence, telling me to stop contacting her husband because I am not going to destroy her marriage, and that he will never feel for me what he feels for her, etc. I let him go. A few months later, he emailed me again. Said he missed me, apologized. I didn't even respond. He did that over and over again, every other month, but I never replied. He said that he can't stop thinking of me and nobody is like me, that I have all the things he is missing in his wife, I was the best he ever had, etc... Blergh. Note, that at this point I had already moved to another country. He knew this, yet he kept writing. When I was visiting the city, he wanted to meet up, etc. He said he still loved me. He started to get on my nerves. He contacted me via phone, email, social media... you name it. A year ago, he wrote again, and I replied. Since I was single, depressed and bored, I ended up getting enmeshed in some sexting with him. I felt terrible about it. I decided to look him up on his social media to see what he is up to. I then saw, that, by then, he had a kid with his wife, which was born 9 months after our affair had ended... I also saw they had another kid on the way. I was shocked. I have since completely deleted him from my life. He keeps emailing but I am ignoring it. My question is... should I tell his wife? I really mean it. I am so sick of this guy. But I guess I don't have the authority, do I? Part of me also thinks she wouldn't ever leave him anyway, no matter how disgusting he gets. I know that if I was in her position, I'd want to know, though! That's why I am so conflicted. Please bear me with your judgement for getting involved with him in the first place, I know I was being incredibly dumb and naive. I just would like some advice on if I should tell her or not (basically, that her husband is still lusting after the girl he cheated on her with 6 years ago). Link to post Share on other sites
freengreen Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 (edited) Similar story but it was one sided (his). This guy hit on me at work, I avoided him like a plague from then. I live in a different country now ( phew). He tries to contact me to 'stay friends'. Has been for 5 yrs now. What i do is block him. He kept calling, I blocked him on phone. He contacted on FB, I blocked him there. On whatsapp , again blocked. 2 weeks back I get an email , blocked. Linkedin should be next and I am ready. DONT LEAVE A WAY TO CRAWL BACK. BLOCK. Its all easy when you havnt developed any kind of feelings for that person. I am right now NC with a man and I am praying with every cell that I get this strong with this guy too. Damn, its hard. No other way. Edited November 25, 2016 by freengreen Link to post Share on other sites
l8estnews Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 What i do is block him. He kept calling, I blocked him on phone. He contacted on FB, I blocked him there. On whatsapp , again blocked. 2 weeks back I get an email , blocked. Linkedin should be next and I am ready. HAHAHAHA!!! This made my day Link to post Share on other sites
freengreen Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 HAHAHAHA!!! This made my day yay!. I made someones day Link to post Share on other sites
BuddyX Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 So how come you haven't told him "if you don't stop I'm sending your emails/texts to your wife". The threat should be enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 Email him back but pretend it's a boyfriend, somewhere along the lines of This is *insert name*, you need to stop emailing Lae, she shows me all correspondence and this will stop now or I will get your wife involved and show her all these emails you've been sending over the years. If he still emails knowing another bloke is reading them and that the bloke will tell his wife then he's beyond help but a little persuasion should get him to stop. Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 So how come you haven't told him "if you don't stop I'm sending your emails/texts to your wife". The threat should be enough. This advice should do it^^^^ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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