I found out how my SIL and sister feels about me

[ChattyKat]

Not so much my sister but my sister-in-law made hurtful comments about me and making me the butt of their jokes. And even making fun of my friends, some who have "special needs".

 

No, I shouldn't of been snooping on my sister's ipad reading her conversations with my SIL.

 

Whats worse is my SIL is a parent of one with another on the way. I pray her unborn baby isn't born with any kind of issues. Having a disability, being Deaf, the comments she made about me were really hurtful. Saying things like I'm so weird, annoying and wish I'd stop bothering her.

 

Really, I think she's just jealous because my brother won't stand up to our mom regarding his and SIL's child. She spoils tbe grandchild every week with gifts or clothes and she's taking her frustrations out on me

Edited November 27, 2016 by ChattyKat

[Tayla]

Someday you'll come to understand: What others think of you is not your business.

What a relief that will be!

Til then, remember .. Once you know... You can now make choices in removing yourself from their company.

What you think of yourself is what matters.

May it remain positive.

[ChattyKat]

Someday you'll come to understand: What others think of you is not your business.

What a relief that will be!

Til then, remember .. Once you know... You can now make choices in removing yourself from their company.

What you think of yourself is what matters.

May it remain positive.

 

Yes, will do my best. My SIL has complained to me about my mom in the past and while I do agree, I told her to talk about it with her hubby, my brother. Next time, she complains about my mom, I plan to straight out tell her ain't my problem.

 

I haven't attempted to speak to her since then, the same with my sister.

 

I have good company I associate with

[turnera]

I'd have fun with it. Next time you talk to them , bring in phrases taken from their conversations and let them wonder what you know. Even better, do it around your parents, so they'll wonder what you've told THEM.

 

I used to be made fun of, in school, cos I was so poor and backwards in a school where the rich kids went. But I was a great student, the teachers loved me, and I never even interacted with them, so no idea why they felt the need to make fun of me and my clothes.

 

But it hit me one day, watching them make fun of a mentally challenged boy, that THEY were the pathetic ones. That boy, and I, were just being who we were, doing the best we could with what we had. THEY choose to demean themselves by ridiculing us. From that day on, I looked on them with pity. And they knew it. And hated themselves even more for it.

 

Ever since then, I couldn't care less what people say about me. You should try it.

[ChattyKat]

I'd have fun with it. Next time you talk to them , bring in phrases taken from their conversations and let them wonder what you know. Even better, do it around your parents, so they'll wonder what you've told THEM.

 

I used to be made fun of, in school, cos I was so poor and backwards in a school where the rich kids went. But I was a great student, the teachers loved me, and I never even interacted with them, so no idea why they felt the need to make fun of me and my clothes.

 

But it hit me one day, watching them make fun of a mentally challenged boy, that THEY were the pathetic ones. That boy, and I, were just being who we were, doing the best we could with what we had. THEY choose to demean themselves by ridiculing us. From that day on, I looked on them with pity. And they knew it. And hated themselves even more for it.

 

Ever since then, I couldn't care less what people say about me. You should try it.

 

 

Love your idea. My parents had a Thanksgiving get-together with my siblings and their SO. My mom didn't seem upset I didn't want to see my sister or SIL. Yes, I do plan to have fun with it. Next time, my SIL talks smack about my mom, I will reply with sarcasm instead of being a shoulder to lean on.

[turnera]

I would just ask her point blank: How do you feel when you find out people have been talking crap about you behind your back? Hurts, doesn't it? So why are YOU doing it?

 

Sarcasm will just bite you in the butt. Take the high road. Always take the high road.

[LargoLagg]

I don't understand your post. Are you disabled or something? And what does your mom and the grandchildren and how she treats them and how your brother reacts have to do with jealousy and/or how your sister and SIL view you?

 

You know what else? Snooping on your sister's iPad is a special kind of needy.

 

From the little that you've written, they may have some cause to talk about you behind your back. Take that cause away from them. Stop acting like some little kid who needs their approval.

 

Maybe you're making some assumptions about why they don't seem to like you, when it is something else entirely.

[ChattyKat]

I would just ask her point blank: How do you feel when you find out people have been talking crap about you behind your back? Hurts, doesn't it? So why are YOU doing it?

 

Sarcasm will just bite you in the butt. Take the high road. Always take the high road.

 

Good point. Better for me to say something like don't be talking smack about my mama

 

I don't understand your post. Are you disabled or something? And what does your mom and the grandchildren and how she treats them and how your brother reacts have to do with jealousy and/or how your sister and SIL view you?

 

You know what else? Snooping on your sister's iPad is a special kind of needy.

 

From the little that you've written, they may have some cause to talk about you behind your back. Take that cause away from them. Stop acting like some little kid who needs their approval.

 

Maybe you're making some assumptions about why they don't seem to like you, when it is something else entirely.

 

I'm a bit confused by your post. Yeah, I'm Deaf.

[LargoLagg]

Oh, well then that's just plain ****ty of them. Still, you shouldn't be snooping. It is a little needy.

 

I think its one thing for people who aren't used to deaf people to learn how to act normally. But sisters? SIL's? No excuse. Especially a mother.

 

You should tell them that you want to teach them a new sign you learned recently in sign language classes:

 

……………..….…./´¯/)

……………......,/¯../

……………….../…./

…………./´¯/’…’/´¯`·¸

………./’/…/…./……./¨¯\

……..(‘(…´…´…. ¯~/’…’)

………\…………….....’…../

……….”…\………... _.·´

…………\…………..(

…………..\………….\…

[turnera]

Good point. Better for me to say something like don't be talking smack about my mama

You're still not listening. I'm talking about the tone of your voice. How would YOU react if someone said to you 'don't talk smack about...'? It's confrontational and as soon as someone uses words like that, the other person instantly has their back against the wall. AND they stop listening.

 

Do you want this to change or do you want to be right? If you want it to change, try getting to her by reaching her on HER level.

[Miss Clavel]

i get a lot of **** from people because i believe that everyone, even special needs have to have manners.

 

we have an intern at work that has high functioning downs. he's great at his job. the problem comes when everyone is arriving or departing from the building or walking around the work area. he just plows thru. he goes straight to his destination no matter who is in his path. old or young, he just bumps/smacks into them, never says, "behind you, coming through, pardon me", nothing. if he knocks the files out of your hands he doesn't stop or apologize. it's rude.

 

he knows enough of life to take public transportation and he has an apartment, so clearly he can learn. yet, he has no respect for the space of others.

 

which brings me to you. sure you are deaf, which brings about a host of complications in everyday life, but, you can learn because i see that you can read and write.

 

stop violating their privacy, sure it's catty to "dish" about you behind your back but it was in private, so don't repeat gossip or things you learn while snooping. otherwise you will cut off your source. hahaha

 

you should take their criticism to heart, learn from it and change your ways. of course you can "consider the source" and measure what you want to hold onto, what will help you to get along with them. love em or hate em, they are family. if you mother wants to "spoil" her grandkids, that's her god given right and trust me, unless her son tells her to stop, firmly, i doubt she will.

 

even the disabled have to have manners.

 

and it's bad manners for you to skip over the part where you are described as "weird". how am i going to know what that means if you don't. and if you're determined to let on that you've been snooping, ask them what they mean by that, at the risk of being "annoying", you've got a life to live outside the family and it might help you to learn how not to appear weird to others, say in a romance or in the workplace.

 

good luck.

Edited December 5, 2016 by Miss Clavel

[Poe77]

I don't understand your post. Are you disabled or something? And what does your mom and the grandchildren and how she treats them and how your brother reacts have to do with jealousy and/or how your sister and SIL view you?

 

You know what else? Snooping on your sister's iPad is a special kind of needy.

 

From the little that you've written, they may have some cause to talk about you behind your back. Take that cause away from them. Stop acting like some little kid who needs their approval.

 

Maybe you're making some assumptions about why they don't seem to like you, when it is something else entirely.

 

 

No one ever has "cause" to make fun of a person simply cause they are disabled granted the OP prob shouldn't have been snooping but that in itself is not a pass for fer family to be abusive she must have had some reason she felt the need to look people dont just usually look thu others messages like that for zero reason..

 

OP im sorry she was so rude just consider the source and ignore her ive been there myself its quite hurtful to learn people who you thought were at least ok with you really hate you behind your back its up to you if you confront her or not but after you make that decision one way or the other I would def cut her out of your life..