loveplease123 Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 My parents refuse to accept my bf and constantly talk **** about him in front of me, will do anything to break us up. basically, my parents would only approve if i got with someone in the medical field - dentist, doctor. maybe would approve of lawyer. Background: he was my high school bf, first love, etc. We broke up after first year of college. We were together for ~2 years. Fast forward 3 years without contact. Got back together when graduating college (have been together for 7ish months now) Reasons why they won't accept him: 1) not rich. they think he's using me for money in hopes of marrying me and taking $ lol 2) he's shorter than me 3) jobless at the moment (he's in the process of getting a job, prob at an accounting firm like at EY. he was jobless bc his startup failed) 4) questionable future - just bc he graduated with a business degree instead of something in the science background. 5) they think we broke up the first time for a reason and that's why we shouldn't get back together. I am a medical student at the moment and my parents are both dermatologists. His parents prob make barely 6 digits a year but my parents each make over 7 so they refuse to let me with anyone below that On top of all of this, I just got a puppy and during the day when I'm in school, he comes over and helps me take care of him. After my parents found out, they're trying to take my puppy away from me in hopes of separating me and my bf. They think my puppy is what is actually making us close.... I don't think anyone could love me more than he does, could understand/care more than he does. Love him so much and he's always so encourgaing and supportive in everything I do. Please help.. I don't know how I could make my parents accept him ever Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 Why did you break up the first time? And please tell me that this isn't the guy who hit you when you cheated on him. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 (edited) I think your title should read 'BF has been unemployed for 7 months' (if I read your OP correctly). Well, I mean, firstly it IS your life and not your parents', so you should make the decisions you want for yourself. And you need to move out of your parents' house in order to do so, because they're meddling with your life in a rather unacceptable manner (trying to take your puppy away, wtf?). That being said, if I had a daughter, sister, friend, whatever, who was with a guy who had been unemployed for 7 months, I'd advise them to cut and run too. A man who takes his responsibilities seriously would at least be working an McDs in the meantime while looking for a relevant job. Not that that would make a difference with your parents, but it should make a difference to YOU. Edited November 28, 2016 by Elswyth Link to post Share on other sites
LargoLagg Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 He can cure all that stuff except for being short. Are we talking you're 5'5" and he's 5'2"? Or are you 6'6" and he's only 6'2"? Also, how does he support himself with no job? Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted November 29, 2016 Share Posted November 29, 2016 Lol! I was unemployed for a bit....not the least bit concerned that you devalue humans...it's the in thing to do... OP- may I suggest...sharing a bit of polite directness with your parents. Tell them their relationship is ultimately theirs to value. That yours isn't open to critical commentary. The bf is an asset , may you both continue your kind and caring love. Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted November 29, 2016 Share Posted November 29, 2016 I completely understand why your parents aren't thrilled with your romantic choice. Differences in social class and earning potential can create real roadblocks in a relationship. Your parents also want you to have the best life possible so they want you with a man who is at least as educated and successful as you will be when you finish school. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted November 29, 2016 Share Posted November 29, 2016 OP, I'm more concerned as to why you've got a puppy when you are a FT med student? To me that's just irresponsible and not fair on the puppy. After my parents found out, they're trying to take my puppy away from me in hopes of separating me and my bf. They think my puppy is what is actually making us close... ^^^ that's BS. They probably don't agree with you having a puppy when you can't look after it properly. If you can't look after a puppy how on earth do you think you'll be able to look after humans? Seems to me you aren't cut out for working in a "caring" profession. If you start being more responsible maybe you'd get more respect from your parents. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 29, 2016 Share Posted November 29, 2016 I'm not even going to bother with the off-topic dude. I completely understand why your parents aren't thrilled with your romantic choice. Differences in social class and earning potential can create real roadblocks in a relationship. Your parents also want you to have the best life possible so they want you with a man who is at least as educated and successful as you will be when you finish school. I don't know if I agree with this. I don't feel that anyone should ditch a man just because her parents feel that 'they need to be in the same social class'. After all, what is 'class' anyway? Why should a doctor be 'better' than a journalist or chef or engineer or farmer? They all work hard. The man being unemployed for 7 months is definitely an issue though, and should be an issue to any woman looking for a LTR. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted November 29, 2016 Share Posted November 29, 2016 I'm not even going to bother with the off-topic dude. I don't know if I agree with this. I don't feel that anyone should ditch a man just because her parents feel that 'they need to be in the same social class'. After all, what is 'class' anyway? Why should a doctor be 'better' than a journalist or chef or engineer or farmer? They all work hard. The man being unemployed for 7 months is definitely an issue though, and should be an issue to any woman looking for a LTR. Understanding a viewpoint is not the same as condoning it. People should be able to choose their partners despite any reservations from family members. Social class is not determined by who works the hardest. Lineage, education level, income, assets and values are all components of the concept of social class. In an ideal world, nobody would be judged based on how he earns a living but that's not reality. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 OP- I disagree with others when it's about your parents attitude and disregard for your choice of partner. your love is not congruent to education or money. I live in the ideal world where I don't give a hoot about your paycheck or degrees. I do give support to people that have aspirations and treat others with value. I dated a guy who was unemployed. He was great! He had retired at 40:) sailed the world and not a care in the world. Some of us see beyond the horizon...and know there is more . Link to post Share on other sites
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