Doesn't want a relationship. Only wants sex.

[batjokes92]

Not sure if this is the right thread to be posting in but it looks like it might be. I met this man at work back in April. We began a small friends with benefits type of relationship. Mostly because I was a virgin and friends kept telling me that I was getting up there in age and needed experience. I am 23 he is 32.

 

Our secret relationship lasted from April to August when I decided to stop seeing him because he never spent any time with me. He would literally just **** me and leave. The sex wasn't even any good I just felt dirty and used. Also in the beginning he told me that he was split up with his ex girlfriend then later on I discovered that he is still living with her. I am almost 100% sure they are still together.

 

Then last month he started texting me again. This time begging to see me asking me why I haven't been texting him. I told him how he made me feel everytime he left me. He told me things would be different this time but I didn't believe him because this is probably the second time he has said this to me. One morning I was staying the night at my Mom's house and he texted me asking if I was home. I told him I wasn't. And he responded with "oh that's too bad I was just at your house." I live alone and this text message really freaked me out.

 

Over the weeks he continued to text me. I asked him what he really wanted, he said "do I want you as a girlfriend right now? No. Do I want to spend time with you and make you my slave and of course not leave afterward? Yes." This hurt like hell. I was really just a "slave" to him? I wasn't even a person?

 

Anyway. I told him it's over. I lied and told him that I was seeing someone else and it bothers my new boyfriend that he keeps texting. He agreed he would leave me alone but sure enough 3 weeks later he's texting me again and says he misses me. I ignored it but this morning he texted me this "when I said I missed you I ment it why do you never text me?"

 

I'm getting kind of scared now. I've told him to leave me alone but he won't. On the other hand the attention feels good seeing as I've never had a relationship/boyfriend before and have experienced nothing but rejection before this but it feels so wrong. What should I do? What should I say to him?

Edited November 28, 2016 by batjokes92

[darkmoon]

you need to block him and move on, and/or to decide to find a new boyf to give you attention

[salparadise]

Ok, for starters this is not in the right forum. This isn't abuse, it's just a persistent ex-fwb whose attention you enjoy. The solution is easy. If you want him to go away, quit titillating him and block his number. Why not go out and get yourself a real boyfriend and enjoy some dating and fulfillment?

[Expectmore]

Ditto

Find a normal guy.

Next time he texts you reply back "who is this"

This is my wifes new number.

If he continues tell him you are forwarding his number to the police. He will stop.

There are regular good guys waiting to find you.

Give one a chance and stay away from losers and abusers.. Good Luck

[Satu]

If his messages are unwanted, you can block him easily enough.

 

So do you want them or not?

[elaine567]

YOU seem to have in one easy step, graduated from virgin, to some sort of OW, call girl and free prostitute, for a sleazy older guy...

 

Block his number and stop talking to him. If you are concerned he is stalking you then you simply phone the police and report him.

YOU are 23 and in your best years, go find a decent guy to have fun times with.

[batjokes92]

Oh sure. Because finding a decent guy to date is really as simple as it sounds. It ain't.

[spiderowl]

You need to tell him firmly to leave you alone (by text) and then block him. I would also take some extra measures to make sure your home is secure and keep a look out for yourself. He doesn't sound a nice guy. While he will probably not bother you again, I know of two women who have had serious problems with stalkers. If he really did turn up at your house, he is potential trouble. Any worries or sightings of him near your home and I would call the police. The sooner they start to make records of any stalkery activity, the better.

 

Hopefully when you tell him to go away, that will be the last you hear of him.

[stillafool]

You're still getting rejected. This guy just has you in rotation and probably still has a gf. Block this loser from contacting you. This isn't the kind of attention you want is it?

[stillafool]

Oh sure. Because finding a decent guy to date is really as simple as it sounds. It ain't.

 

Then do without one until you find a decent guy. Stop lowering your standards. Like Elaine said, these are your best years don't waste them on some creep who means you no good.

[Sequitur328]

It sounds like you should definitely take some precautions with this man. If it seems like he is following or stalking you don't waist time in contacting the authorities. As far and him giving you attention, you have to remember this is not love. Love does not use people or refer to them as slaves. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. If you are interested in perfect love, it comes from Jesus. If you have any questions about that I could help you.

[batjokes92]

Just an update. I've been ignoring him for a week now until one night he texted me "if you don't want to speak to me that's fine just let me know please" I responded with "I don't want to talk to you anymore." He then said "awe I bought you a gift I guess I'll return it I really do miss you a lot." He then said "can I say one last thing and then I'll leave you alone? There is a reason I kept pushing you away do you want to know what it is?" I asked "what?" And he said "I fell in love with you." "I tried not to, I'm so sorry. I will respect you and go and never talk to you again. Is that what you want?" I said "yes" and he said "so I can't make it up to you?"

 

The next day he sent me a message that was apparently ment to go to another Contact he had on his phone explaining how he wanted to return this 400$ necklace he bought for me. He said he sent it to me by accident but I know it was on purpose.

 

So now I'm confused. He said he loves me. I hope he didn't mean it because now I can't stop thinking about him and I'm wondering if I've made the right decision in blocking this guy. I didn't have much feelings for him at all before he said this but now I'm not sure. Is he just lying? Is he trying to manipulate me?

Edited December 6, 2016 by batjokes92

[SoulCat]

Why didn't you block him last week? Then you wouldn't have been in a tailspin again over this guy today.

 

Of course he's trying to manipulate you. It's a laughably lame attempt too with the 'Sorry this text - where I mention a really expensive gift I want to return - wasn't meant for you.

 

He doesn't love you, he isn't in love with you but he would sure like to keep you around to feed his ego.

 

Don't let him.

Edited December 6, 2016 by SoulCat

[batjokes92]

Why didn't you block him last week? Then you wouldn't have been in a tailspin again over this guy today.

 

Of course he's trying to manipulate you. It's a laughably lame attempt too with the 'Sorry this text - where I mention a really expensive gift I want to return - wasn't meant for you.

 

He doesn't love you, he isn't in love with you but he would sure like to keep you around to feed his ego.

 

Don't let him.

 

Thank you.

 

I know that deep down he is an idiot and I'm better off without him but I'm so frustrated with men and dating right now. They all tend to pull the same **** with me and it's getting rediculous. The only difference between them and him is he's been the most persistent. The others just stop trying once I show them I have standards.

[RecentChange]

Hahahah oh wow. You withdrew sex and he pulled the "I love you card". Hahaha he really thinks he is a player huh? And the accidentally texting about an expensive necklace HAHAHAH

 

look, love is AN ACTION not a word. He doesn't love you. He hasn't show you love. He does think he can't easily manipulate you to get his Willy wet.

 

Try to get this man out of your mind. He doesn't love you, he wants to use you. That he has displayed through his words AND his actions.

 

Don't fall for his weak game

[Zahara]

The only difference between them and him is he's been the most persistent. The others just stop trying once I show them I have standards.

 

Persistence doesn't mean genuine interest. It just means he's a little more persistent hoping you'll cave and let him get into your pants.

 

Fell in love with you! Don't be gullible. He's manipulating you hoping you'll get weak and give into him.

Edited December 7, 2016 by Zahara

[turnera]

Our secret relationship

 

Then last month he started texting me again.

Of course he did.

 

You're easy.

[turnera]

Just an update. I've been ignoring him for a week now until one night he texted me "if you don't want to speak to me that's fine just let me know please" I responded with "I don't want to talk to you anymore." He then said "awe I bought you a gift I guess I'll return it I really do miss you a lot." He then said "can I say one last thing and then I'll leave you alone? There is a reason I kept pushing you away do you want to know what it is?" I asked "what?" And he said "I fell in love with you." "I tried not to, I'm so sorry. I will respect you and go and never talk to you again. Is that what you want?" I said "yes" and he said "so I can't make it up to you?"

 

The next day he sent me a message that was apparently ment to go to another Contact he had on his phone explaining how he wanted to return this 400$ necklace he bought for me. He said he sent it to me by accident but I know it was on purpose.

 

So now I'm confused. He said he loves me. I hope he didn't mean it because now I can't stop thinking about him and I'm wondering if I've made the right decision in blocking this guy. I didn't have much feelings for him at all before he said this but now I'm not sure. Is he just lying? Is he trying to manipulate me?

 

GAG ME.

 

That was 150% on purpose to REEL YOU BACK IN.

 

He's a manipulator. Block him. Get therapy. Find out how to value yourself and DON'T give up - you'll find the right guy, in time.

 

This right guy - he will be a FRIEND. He WON'T expect sex from you. He will want to get to know you first. He will want to know all about you, what your dreams are, why you like and dislike, what makes you tick - because he CARES about you.

 

YOU, not your pu$$y.

[turnera]

Just an update. I've been ignoring him for a week now until one night he texted me "if you don't want to speak to me that's fine just let me know please" I responded with "I don't want to talk to you anymore." He then said "awe I bought you a gift I guess I'll return it I really do miss you a lot." He then said "can I say one last thing and then I'll leave you alone? There is a reason I kept pushing you away do you want to know what it is?" I asked "what?" And he said "I fell in love with you." "I tried not to, I'm so sorry. I will respect you and go and never talk to you again. Is that what you want?" I said "yes" and he said "so I can't make it up to you?"

 

The next day he sent me a message that was apparently ment to go to another Contact he had on his phone explaining how he wanted to return this 400$ necklace he bought for me. He said he sent it to me by accident but I know it was on purpose.

 

So now I'm confused. He said he loves me. I hope he didn't mean it because now I can't stop thinking about him and I'm wondering if I've made the right decision in blocking this guy. I didn't have much feelings for him at all before he said this but now I'm not sure. Is he just lying? Is he trying to manipulate me?

 

GAG ME.

 

That was 150% on purpose to REEL YOU BACK IN.

 

He's a manipulator. Block him. Get therapy. Find out how to value yourself and DON'T give up - you'll find the right guy, in time.

 

This right guy - he will be a FRIEND. He WON'T expect sex from you. He will want to get to know you first. He will want to know all about you, what your dreams are, why you like and dislike, what makes you tick - because he CARES about you.

 

YOU, not your pu$$y.

 

You DO realize, right, that he sent that to you on purpose, it was no accident. He's a player, a manipulator. He never bought you a $400 anything. He SAID he did and 'accidentally' sent it to you instead of a friend so that you would get reeled in and contact him.

 

Research 'players.' You'll have your eyes opened.