Dated a Coworker...Did Not End Well

[GeorgiaGirrl]

So, I am not really sure if I could call it dating but it was close. He is a coworker of mine. It started on November 8th of this year when he (I will just call him Jacob) poked me on Facebook. I poked him back, then sent him a friend request and I was surprised when he accepted because he usually seemed kind of stuck up towards me. Within seven days, he went from generally casual to very formal, calling me 'love' and asking if my boyfriend works. When I told him I do not have a bf, he said, "So, then we are still on for our coffee date." Btw, we'd already went on a coffee date a couple days beforehand. We had so much fun together just sitting in his car, laughing, eating, and talking. But one morning after work, he asked if I wanted to go somewhere different than sitting outside of QuikTrip. I asked him where and he just said, "You." I put two and two together and thought he wanted sex. So, I asked him if that was his way of asking me over his place. When he said he said it was, I told him the truth-that I had just got out of a bad relationship and additionally, I didn't know Jacob that well. However, I didn't mention at all that I was not looking for a bf right now.

 

So then he was like, "Guess I just got rejected." Since this was over Facebook Messenger, I said, "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I do think you are cute. But I took it too far, I guess, when I said "You make me wet and I came three times this morning because of you." He said, "I didn't know you felt that way about me." I apologized and said I was embarrassed so we shouldn't talk until we both forget about it. And even though he said he wouldn't mind helping me with that (him turning me on), I was still embarrassed and that is what I told him when he asked why because I repeated we shouldn't talk for a while (I didn't say 'Let's not talk ANYMORE.'). So, a couple of hours later, he unfriended me on Facebook and we had to work together the next night. We did okay, but it seemed like he kept trying to physically get near me. The night after, up until now (I guess), all hell broke loose. Apparently, he told everyone about our Facebook messaging that one morning and then he and two other guys walked through an aisle I was working and laughed at me. Every time I looked at Jacob, he was laughing at me. So, Jacob was spreading this around to other coworkers and has been following me around. He also has been leaving heart shaped pillows in the area I work at. One guy asked him 'Isn't that your-?' I didn't hear the rest but Jacob was laughing-and looking at me. Jacob has also been staring at me a lot. But he stopped since I have been looking back at him. I addressed one of the guys who laughed with him and he said Jacob is immature with issues and "all I know is he thinks you're cute." But when I spoke to another coworker (who I consider a friend), she said that is harassment and he has done this to two other coworkers in the past. She said this is just how he is. But when I told her about the rape and kidnapping jokes he made, she said that was weird of him. She told a supervisor who brought another supervisor in a room the other day, and said they will keep him away from me.They also said it was creepy. However, he keeps ending up being placed near me, unless its just a coincidence. They said someone above them will speak to Jacob on Monday but I'm thinking they already have. So, my questions are: Is he playing games? Why did he remove me from Facebook? Was this all to get revenge on me for saying we should not talk for a minute? And why has he been staring at me so much???

[Miss Clavel]

wow, okay, there are a couple of issues here.

 

workplace romance. it's not a romance anymore. he didn't want a romance anyway, he wanted to screw you and then dump you.

 

inappropriate behavior hopefully he doesn't have a copy of the message where you say that you are masterbating. hopefully he doesn't show it to your supervisor or boss because, imo, you started this. you revealed very intimate sexual information to a coworker, uninvited. wth?

 

legal action/harassment accusation again, you started it by talking about sex, in writing. not sure how that's going to make you look but in your favor he's done this to other woman at work.

 

in the meantime, he's slagged you off to your coworkers. he's made you a figure of fun and you're the number one feature as the butt of his jokes and sexual gossip.

 

the good news is that your coworkers know he's a dishonest immature narcissistic, inappropriate joke that can't be trusted.

 

there is no going forward with this guy so forget him as a potential partner, in anything, he can't be trusted.

 

it's time for you to look after yourself, in life and at work. the good news is that most of these people don't give a **** once they punch out of their jobs. and since he seems so immature, he'll probably move on to another target or another job.

 

if things go official and he's shown them a copy of your foolish sexual/masterbation post, you're going to have to own it or call him a liar and say he altered the post/text/message.

 

i'd tell the truth, as embarrassing as it is, and admit you made a big mistake blurting out such personal info to a coworker.

 

they may chide you, they may write you up, they may give you an official warning and move you to a different department. it may be that you will no longer have a future at that company. but, you started it.

 

unfortunately, the cat's out of the bag and there is no way to stuff it back in. you just have to wait and see which one of you is going to get their wrist slapped and if it's you , say you're sorry and it will never happen again. say that you don't have copies of the weird sexual **** he sent you first (which of course is a lie, but no one can prove it, can they?) and that it will never happen again. say that you didn't know he's done this before and that you thought he was sincere.

 

hopefully all of this will die down. otherwise, if it were me, i'd retaliate.

 

if any of his "friends" bring up that you were masterbating all morning and try to embarass you, just say, "well, he's penis is so small, i just made it up to make him feel better".

 

every time he looks at you, stares at you, just say, loudly, "im sorry, i don't love you, you can't move in with me".

 

it worked for me.

 

good luck