3 months & counting

[littlesunfl0wer]

I met a guy online through a anonymous website. He's from Australia, and I live in the US. We instantly hit it off and we seemed to have quite a bit of similarities. His mannerism & personality makes me more attractive to him instead of his looks (we both are different races, he's white and I'm black). Two days after talking, we went further and he gave me his Snapchat, & Kik to continue our friendship. He started off calling me "my lady, dear, miss, ma'am" then progressed to "beautiful, amazing, adorable" I guess I have become a part of his life, but not physically. I started to quickly become attached to him. I told him how I feel about not wanting to waste my time like using me and he told me he would never do that to me.. he stated that it's my rules and I shouldn't forget that, he will still be my friend regardless. Friends turned into more quickly, I was texting him through Kik and he said "We may get busy & not talk for a day or two or go on holidays or something but I'm always here for you. I love you, and only you." He already confessed he loves me. I didn't want to be mean and not say it back.. (It's so easy to say those 3 words and not mean it..) I know I shouldn't have, but I indeed get attached to guy, and started fantasising life with him. Can you fall for someone you've never met? He also mentioned he will be honest with me as I would do the same for him, and that he's lucky he has me in his life because I'm perfect for him including my flaws and all. Lastly he concluded that we can be together one day. (Again, ANYONE can something and not mean it) Recently he messaged me and asked if we can Skype. The past few months we have been talking we only Skype once, and when I wanted to Skype, he told me when I'm home... (meaning he didn't want others to see him on camera, but I made aware it would be just us two) I told him that would be fine with me. He also said "I'm sorry I wish we can Skype more often" (btw I mentioned that to him in the past, I didn't expect him to remember!) We eventually didn't Skype due to internet problems, and he kept apologising which I reminded him it's fine, we have plenty more times we can Skype.

A few days ago out of the blue, my prayer has been answer! He kik me and told me, "Are you busy? I would love to Skype with you." YES! Working progress.. In the past two days, we have Skype for almost 4 hours total. I even asked him cause, "Where do we stand?" and he told me "I thought we were dating now, isn't it obvious?" I really do feel completely happy inside and out when he's like this. I just wish the distance wasn't so far!

 

Question is - Can I really trust him or does he sound to good to be true? I know I'm suppose to go with my gut feeling but I really don't know what to do! He's telling me everything I want to hear, but how can I be sure his actions are matching his words?

 

Any and all advice will be gladly appreciated, don't hold back anything!

[Nathaly]

it is normal to be unsure at first .. i was like you, i was afraid of being in a long distance relationship because of the usual ''things'' that people say about this kind of relationship BUT yes, you can fall in love the same way you do with a local guy/girl. the best things of LDR is that you can fall in love with the personality of your partner more than attraction. the only way you can be sure if you can trust him is to get to know him more. only you can figure it out no one here can surely tell you what his intentions can be, because you're the one who is daily talking to him.

 

my advice: get to know him well, you will eventually know what he wants, you both are fresh starting this journey, communication is the mother of LDR, keep in touch everyday, don't skip one day without talking.. make plans for your first meeting and make it happen soon!

[VeveCakes]

How likely is it you will be able to meet? The US and Australia are over 24 flight apart and a lot of $$. The general rule is to meet sooner than later so you are not wasting time if there is no attraction in person.

 

I think you are better off meeting someone local who you can form a real person to person connection with.

 

How old are you?

[littlesunfl0wer]

it is normal to be unsure at first .. i was like you, i was afraid of being in a long distance relationship because of the usual ''things'' that people say about this kind of relationship BUT yes, you can fall in love the same way you do with a local guy/girl. the best things of LDR is that you can fall in love with the personality of your partner more than attraction. the only way you can be sure if you can trust him is to get to know him more. only you can figure it out no one here can surely tell you what his intentions can be, because you're the one who is daily talking to him.

 

my advice: get to know him well, you will eventually know what he wants, you both are fresh starting this journey, communication is the mother of LDR, keep in touch everyday, don't skip one day without talking.. make plans for your first meeting and make it happen soon!

 

 

 

I totally fell over heels for his personality, everything he does is breathtaking, well to me. We try to keep in touch almost everyday but I was told differently that we should communicate once daily? I don't know what to do, and I don't want to come off as clingy/needy but he told me that's perfectly fine with him..

Right now, I'm a college student and I did my research on airline tickets from both locations as they are both fairly expensive.. I have thought about meeting halfway?

[littlesunfl0wer]

How likely is it you will be able to meet? The US and Australia are over 24 flight apart and a lot of $$. The general rule is to meet sooner than later so you are not wasting time if there is no attraction in person.

 

I think you are better off meeting someone local who you can form a real person to person connection with.

 

How old are you?

 

The likely chances? I haven't thought about it. I'm slowly asking him serious long term questions as I'm afraid what I ask, I might lose him.

 

The traveling distance price is a total pain indeed.. I thought about meetin halfway? He indeed does have a passport that is outdated but I would hope he is looking into renewing it.

 

I'm currently 19, and he's 24.

[ElizabethIII]

You're 19, he is 24. So both very young.

 

You live in the US and he lives in Australia. Assuming neither of you are super rich, the likelihood of you affording to travel to each others countries more than once is slim.

 

I dont understand why people do this to themselves. At such a young age, cut off all ideas of meeting someone local and instead focusing on a fake cyber relationship when you are unlikely to meet.

 

Meeting half way.....where? Are you aware that there is nothing between the USA and Australia but the Pacific Ocean and some very small islands? Meet in the Solomon islands? Cook islands? Fiji? Vanuatu? Or maybe if you travelled further to a bigger country, maybe Japan, China, Vietnam? But everywhere you go even half way is a long haul flight and very $$. You need a visa for China and probably some of the other countries.

 

I dont think you quite grasp that Australia is in the middle of nowhere. Look it up on a map. The nearest countries are new Zealand, Papua New Guinea, but even then the flights are several hours away. If you met him in New Zealand, that is so far away you might as well just go to Australia itself.

 

I would give it up, but that is just me.

Edited November 30, 2016 by ElizabethIII

[ExpatInItaly]

He's never met you and claims he loves you? Red flag.

 

He says you're dating when you haven't been on a date? Red flag.

 

He says you are perfect for him, yet you live on opposite sides of the world and are both so young that you're probably not financially secure enough to make a long-distance relationship like this feasible? Red flag.

 

There is a pattern here, OP. Has he ever asked you for intimate photos or videos?

 

Be careful.