Guys, i need your advice

[Nicole]

I've been married since I was 19 years old, got divorced after 10 years of marriage. So as you can see, I've never really dated anyone. there is a guy in my office who I like very much. he seem to be interested too but I think he is as shy as I am. I do not know how to make a first step, I've never did that in my life. I am afraid to be rejected and the stay at the same place with him. Please, tell me if you know.

[Gambler]

Nicole,

 

If one of you don't make the move, you'll never find out. As a man, I can only tell you to be careful if you decide to make the first move. Some men may see it as "easy" or "pushy". Others apreciate a woman that knows what she wants and goes for it. Try to find out how he feels about that first. Then decide how to proceed from there. If you are going to make the move, just be honest and straight foward. Otherwise, my experience with women tells me that you (or your girlfriends) know some of the subtleties that gets a man's attention (eye contact, a lil affection, a lil flirting, etc). I hope this helps a little.

I've been married since I was 19 years old, got divorced after 10 years of marriage. So as you can see, I've never really dated anyone. there is a guy in my office who I like very much. he seem to be interested too but I think he is as shy as I am. I do not know how to make a first step, I've never did that in my life. I am afraid to be rejected and the stay at the same place with him. Please, tell me if you know.

[sparkle]

Hi Nicole,

 

First of all, it isn't a great idea to date anyone in your office. It can cause a great deal of problems.

 

But aside from that, to show him you're interested, you need to first try to talk to him. If he sees you looking at him, don't turn away quickly. First give him a big smile and a "hello". Strike up a conversation with him next time you pass by him. A lot of guys I know absolutely love it if a girl comes up to them and initiates the conversation, even though it may not be about dating or liking him or anything. Talk about anything.

 

If you already talk to him, then try to flirt with him or compliment him. Make it seem natural or be subtle about it. Don't overdo it; guys can sense a fake act.

 

Another thing that won't hurt is asking him to join you on your lunch break. And the way he acts towards you will give you an indication of how interested he is.

[Rogue]

Believe me, it's tough for anyone to make the first move, not just you. It can be just as scary for a guy as it is for you. I get quite unhinged when I have to ask a woman I'm really attracted to out.So it's pretty normal to be nervous.

 

My suggestion is ask him to join you for lunch,like Sparkle said. Or you can try asking him out for a friendly cup of coffee, which is less pressure on you. A cup of coffee is more innocent, and because it won't take as long , it's harder to say "no" to. It's a lot easier to talk over coffee, there's less time to fill if things go awkwardly, and heck, it's cheaper. And if he says "no" to you, it's not a big deal because it was simply a "friendly" gesture on your part. No one in the office should think you're flirting with the guy just because you asked him to a cup of coffee.

 

If he does say yes, you can talk casually over and use that oppurtunity to find out more about him and how he feels about you. From there you can decide whether or not you two should date.