Terfo Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 10 years together and separated now for 10 months, sold house, out on my own etc, its lonely wow. Its tough, I have good days and bad ones. We are definitely going to divorce and that's fine by me since she cheated on me. The thing that really bothers me is that she thinks I will be her friend and keep in touch and go to the same social events with common friends. When she calls or texts me I answer and get it done with quick because there is things we still have to work out, but i don't understand how she thinks she can have me as a friend without even sincerely apologizing! I don't stay friends with people I cant trust or that backstab me! I would expect her to beg for forgiveness to have me consider keeping her as a friend. wtf. Ya maybe shes having a hard time letting go, but that was her choice. What's crazy is that I so want to give in and be her friend, it's tormenting me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
honestyrightback Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 Not necessarily. You may not care enough about her so you can be friends. If you don't want to be with a person be friends.. In my case, I can't be his friend. He violated me and didn't leave so I force him to and by now it's too late. I lost a lot from the behavior and as a result. I will be heard. I will find what I need to move forward. I hate this guy so I wont be friends. If you don't hate her, don't love her.. then who cares, be her friend.. she might be a better person because of it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
notbroken Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 You wouldn't tolerate her behavior in your other friends. You'd jettison them too. You don't owe her friendship. In fact, it is likely impossible. Be indifferent to her. Ignore her. Go no contact as much as possible - and be sure when you actually do contact her that it is absolutely necessary (the world may end if you don't). Friends are loyal and honest with you. She is not. She just wants to help alleviate herself of guilt by keeping you as a friend. Don't let her do that. She has to deal with that on her own - not at your expense. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 She wants you to be her friend, but I doubt that she'll be a friend to you. No way would I consider maintaining any kind of contact with a cheating ex. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 Cheaters choose to be friends to alleviate their guilt but most of all, it comes from being entitled. She can never be a friend to you because a friend in the true sense is someone you can trust, someone that looks out for your best interest and is there for you through thick and thin. So, don't create a facade that is only going to hurt you. Cut all contact except for when you need to tie loose ends. You are not friends, can never be friends. Self-respect. Hold on to it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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