StarbucksLover93 Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 I have not been working since August due to a foot injury. I have spent a lot of time resting at home and so in that time I met this guy through a voice chat app. Long story short we're now in a LDR. My injury is better and I have started looking for a job. I am really worried that when I get a job we won't be able to Skype as much. I live in the UK and he lives in the US. The time difference isn't too bad, I'm 5 hours ahead of him. He doesn't work so I think that's why we work because we have the time to talk to each other. The thing is I live at home still (I'm 23) so when my parents are home I don't Skype with him because they don't know about our relationship. I haven't told them or anyone else because I know people won't "get it". So when I do get a job I know that I won't get to Skype with him in the evenings because my parents will be home. I can't Skype with him and tell my parents I'm talking to a "friend" because I don't talk to friends on the phone every day. I knew what I was getting myself into, but the thought of not being able to Skype with him every day is literally breaking my heart. I am even considering working part time so that I can talk to him. I don't know what to do, I just don't want to lose him. This is my first LDR so this is all new to me. I would really appreciate some advice from people who have or are experiencing this. Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
emi Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 why he doesnt work? I am worried that the fact he doesnt work doesnt bother you at all. And hell no, you shouldnt work part time for the sake of talking to him, just go to your room, close the door, i supposed your parents dont always roam around your room isnt it? He needs a job in order to make the relationship work, you need visits, and visits cost money, money is so important in LDR unfortunately 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarbucksLover93 Posted November 30, 2016 Author Share Posted November 30, 2016 why he doesnt work? I am worried that the fact he doesnt work doesnt bother you at all. And hell no, you shouldnt work part time for the sake of talking to him, just go to your room, close the door, i supposed your parents dont always roam around your room isnt it? He needs a job in order to make the relationship work, you need visits, and visits cost money, money is so important in LDR unfortunately He does have a job, but it's on an as and when basis. He has a young daughter so when he isn't working he is a stay at home dad. I can't really hang out in my room because I always sit in the living room with my parents and I know they would get suspicious if I started to sit up in my room all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
LargoLagg Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 Honestly, you should be worried. Well, worried is the wrong word. Prepared. It's probably going to happen, even if the job is not the cause. Link to post Share on other sites
emi Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 Have you been dating around? What you plan to do with a single stayed at home dad? I have been in LDR, and i have moved to my bf. And to be honest i dont see much hope here 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author StarbucksLover93 Posted November 30, 2016 Author Share Posted November 30, 2016 Have you been dating around? What you plan to do with a single stayed at home dad? I have been in LDR, and i have moved to my bf. And to be honest i dont see much hope here I plan to keep on talking to him, I'm not going to stop talking to him because he is a stay at home Dad. All I can say is that you're very lucky that you could move to be with your bf. Link to post Share on other sites
emi Posted November 30, 2016 Share Posted November 30, 2016 I plan to keep on talking to him, I'm not going to stop talking to him because he is a stay at home Dad. All I can say is that you're very lucky that you could move to be with your bf. I am lucky but lucky isnt the right word We had our up and down and my boyfriend need to work really hard to make us work, he had a full time job and beside that he tried to maintain conversation with me all the time. I was a student when we were in relaitonship and i also have a parttime job so i can take care of myself. we were in LDR for 2 years, and it was not easy. And we have no child, if he has a child i think you need to move to him, but he cant get you there if he doesnt have a proper job. American doesnt look so good right now for immigration, with Trump being a president i think the whole visa things will throw you right off the bus. Link to post Share on other sites
CelticGibson Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 The distance and the amount of talk time are the least of your worries here. If you intend on staying in this LDR with the goal of closing that distance then you are going to crash into the wall of immigration. The US Immigration expects the American citizen to have enough funds to support a foreign national for the duration of the temporary green card. They are responsible for your health and welfare and you cannot claim any government services while in the USA. So he needs a real well paying job before you can ever dream about making efforts to close this distance. I am sure there are similar restrictions to UK immigration for non-EU citizens. These are the harsh facts and something you have to think of if you wish to stay working at this relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 The only justification for being a stay at home dad who doesn't have a job is being married to a working wife. How does he support himself and his daughter? He needs to stop Skyping so much and get a real job too (unless his wife is the breadwinner). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anna121 Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 Agree with the others who are pointing out the practical difficulties in this rel-ship. In addition, your situation with your parents sounds pretty unbearable, or at least it would be for me. What 23-year old has to interact with her parents every night? Who can't just say "I'm going to read or surf the internet or chill in my room" without them getting suspicious? How much longer do you plan to keep doing that? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AmandaDiane Posted December 20, 2016 Share Posted December 20, 2016 I think that there is a bit more here that you are not saying.. I want to be supportive because I do delieve in LDR's so can you fill me in on some more details? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted December 24, 2016 Share Posted December 24, 2016 similar restrictions to UK immigration for non-EU citizens. Uhm... EU doesn't matter anymore for the UK immigration I suppose? The UK is out of it, or formally will be soon. This man might be married as far as we know. I'm almost sure there are times where he can't talk to you either. You don't know, because you're probably sleeping during those times. What about weekends? Link to post Share on other sites
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