Feeling increasingly less motivated

[Lorenza]

How do you find strength within yourself?

 

Feeling less and less motivated to push through in this god abandoned city.

 

I'm 27 and my goals are still out of reach. Recently I managed to move from a point 0 to a point 1 and for a moment things seemed to go better. But then I realized how little my step forward means in the long run.

 

I know if I only I fought a bit harder... But I'm so tired and so many things needs to be fixed. Don't know where to start. Everything's a mess.

 

I'm single. My main job is low paid. My other job messes up my health. I will have to wait for 8 years to get my own apartment. I keep on trying to get into my dream education and failing the audition for 2 years in a row. My jobs leave no time to prepare for the audition. I have no free time.

 

Maybe someone could share some inspiration?

[No_Go]

Maybe anti-inspiration, but I can be your complaining buddy. I'm in a similar limbo. 32. Ending almost 2 year relationship. Still renting although I was planning (and ready) to buy for years (exbf messed my plans ). Job well paid but doesn't reflect my education and drive.

 

You know what? We need to pick priorities and start from there. What is your N1 goal for 2017? New job? New BF? New education? Pick one and put the rest in back plan.

 

I'll write more.

 

How do you find strength within yourself?

 

Feeling less and less motivated to push through in this god abandoned city.

 

I'm 27 and my goals are still out of reach. Recently I managed to move from a point 0 to a point 1 and for a moment things seemed to go better. But then I realized how little my step forward means in the long run.

 

I know if I only I fought a bit harder... But I'm so tired and so many things needs to be fixed. Don't know where to start. Everything's a mess.

 

I'm single. My main job is low paid. My other job messes up my health. I will have to wait for 8 years to get my own apartment. I keep on trying to get into my dream education and failing the audition for 2 years in a row. My jobs leave no time to prepare for the audition. I have no free time.

 

Maybe someone could share some inspiration?

[Lorenza]

Maybe anti-inspiration, but I can be your complaining buddy. I'm in a similar limbo. 32. Ending almost 2 year relationship. Still renting although I was planning (and ready) to buy for years (exbf messed my plans ). Job well paid but doesn't reflect my education and drive.

 

You know what? We need to pick priorities and start from there. What is your N1 goal for 2017? New job? New BF? New education? Pick one and put the rest in back plan.

 

I'll write more.

 

Not that I wish anyone unhappiness, but it's still a relief to know I'm not the only one struggling...

Do you also feel like all your friends have much more stable lives than you?

I think my friends pity me. Most of them are done with their education, are in stable relationships/married, either rent their apartments first hand (which means you can live there indefintely), or have bought them. They cannot relate to me being broke all the time.

 

Yes, probably the only solution is to focus on one goal at the time, otherwise it feels like an avalanche of thoughts and plans of actions just burries me deep.

My goal for 2017 will be to get in and start my education (though I'm also dreaming of a nice relationship and a cozy home). What about you No_Go?

[SpiralOut]

I can relate.

 

I remind myself that the end goal isn't everything. The journey matters as much as anything else. So I look for other things in my life that make me happy. Take things one step at a time, and don't give up.

[Lorenza]

I can relate.

 

I remind myself that the end goal isn't everything. The journey matters as much as anything else. So I look for other things in my life that make me happy. Take things one step at a time, and don't give up.

 

I would give everything to skip this journey. It's been futile so far :/

[Els]

I'm sorry you're experiencing this, OP.

 

I am curious though, how is it that you live in Scandinavia (which supposedly has some of the best work conditions and wage gaps in the world, along with universal healthcare etc) and need to work 2 jobs just to get by? Do you have a lot of debt or a child etc to pay for? Or are the work conditions there not truly what the rest of us imagine them to be?

 

Is there no room at all for saving up a nest egg in your budget so that in a couple years from now, you can quit the 2nd job and just work 1 job while using the spare time to practice for auditions?

[Lorenza]

I'm sorry you're experiencing this, OP.

 

I am curious though, how is it that you live in Scandinavia (which supposedly has some of the best work conditions and wage gaps in the world, along with universal healthcare etc) and need to work 2 jobs just to get by? Do you have a lot of debt or a child etc to pay for? Or are the work conditions there not truly what the rest of us imagine them to be?

 

Is there no room at all for saving up a nest egg in your budget so that in a couple years from now, you can quit the 2nd job and just work 1 job while using the spare time to practice for auditions?

 

Scandinavia is not a paradise as many imagine. It's ridiculously expensive and the housing situation is terrible here in the capital.

 

Sure, the ones having office jobs have little to complain, especially if they can afford taking a loan and buying an apartment. Their conditions are good. But I don't have an office job. I'm a musician and a music teacher running my own business. While it's possible to manage quite well in this sphere, I'm not good at business at all and also lack a few things that could let me earn more.

 

Besides my own firm I work at a culture school for a very low salary. To be able to pay my bills, I took on another job during the weekend nights. So I work on weekdays and weekend nights. The music teacher salary is ridiculous in an official jobs, that's why I started my own company.

 

To be able to save up some money I should have money left over each month, which I don't have.

 

Don't have debts (except the student loan everybody has here) but my bills are very high :/

[No_Go]

In my case my friends can't even comprehend how sh*tty my situation is, and that's why is even harder... I haven't yet told people about the recent break up because we were trying to work things out (stupid me), my job is well paid (so people can't comprehed how far away from my dreams/education it is) etc.

 

But most of my friends have kids now - I wanted one next year, that's why I just can't get over my cra*py ex bf - we were planning marriage next year and I thought the kid stuff is coming Now 32 and single... maybe I'd just go for adoption in the future.

 

Your goal to focus on education in 2017 sounds great! Can you cut some of your work hours, even if you need to sacrifice lifestyle choices, to be able to prepare?

 

My goal for 2017... The more I think about it, it is buying my first home. I'm sick and tired of postponing this (mainly because of the same sh*tty ex bf that lied to me that we'll be buying together next spring...). I need to collect my game and go do it.

 

Not that I wish anyone unhappiness, but it's still a relief to know I'm not the only one struggling...

Do you also feel like all your friends have much more stable lives than you?

I think my friends pity me. Most of them are done with their education, are in stable relationships/married, either rent their apartments first hand (which means you can live there indefintely), or have bought them. They cannot relate to me being broke all the time.

 

Yes, probably the only solution is to focus on one goal at the time, otherwise it feels like an avalanche of thoughts and plans of actions just burries me deep.

My goal for 2017 will be to get in and start my education (though I'm also dreaming of a nice relationship and a cozy home). What about you No_Go?

[Lorenza]

I think I'm getting depressed. Nothing is giving me joy lately and lots of things should (I'm organizing a concert for my students, gonna visit my home country soon etc). My best friend is moving out of the country and I couldn't care less to meet her.

[No_Go]

I think I'm getting depressed. Nothing is giving me joy lately and lots of things should (I'm organizing a concert for my students, gonna visit my home country soon etc). My best friend is moving out of the country and I couldn't care less to meet her.

 

Sounds like depression indeed Do you have hobbies that take up a lot of time? Preferably something active like sport or traveling? This may help you distract yourself and pull yourself out of the hole.

 

Do you have someone to talk about your mood? Like a very close friend or relative?

 

I feel similarly recently... but I'm thinking like any other crisis, this shall pass sometime...

[SpiralOut]

What type of support is available in your area? Is counselling affordable?

[Lorenza]

What type of support is available in your area? Is counselling affordable?

 

Private councelling is expensive, and I didn't get access to private one unfortunately :/

[SpiralOut]

You mentioned a few concerns in your original post. Is there one thing in particular that's weighing you down the most?