moyasmom Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 It's the first of the month and bills are due. My husband has been staying with his daughter that assaulted me since she came back in town last weekend. He even brought her near the house in his car and left her in the car while he got some things. Now he has taken his check and gotten a weekly hotel room for them. He is going to different agencies and pretending to be homeless. There is a lot of backstory about his emotional and financial abuse but what I want is for him to stay gone if he doesn't pay any bills this month. We have section 8 housing and he is the head of household. The section 8 people won't even talk to me even though I sign their paperwork every year and I am on the lease. I have been working more and saved up money but I don't want to move. At what point can I change the locks and claim he abandoned the home ? I am ready to file for divorce. If I pay all the bills, I don't want him to come back in here EVER. Our arrangement was that all bills were paid from his monthly VA check. Can I ask him to sign a paper saying he doesn't want to pay bills here anymore so I can keep him from coming back ? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 At what point can I change the locks and claim he abandoned the home ? I am ready to file for divorce. If I pay all the bills, I don't want him to come back in here EVER. Our arrangement was that all bills were paid from his monthly VA check. Can I ask him to sign a paper saying he doesn't want to pay bills here anymore so I can keep him from coming back ? All good questions for an attorney, many of whom will give you an initial consultation for free. If you don't feel that's doable, most big cities have legal aid offices. On something this important, see a lawyer... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 Yes, you need to see a lawyer ASAP. Regarding changing the locks, if you ask the lawyer, he might have to tell you the official line, "you can't legally do that". But often there are no consequences for doing so. You could ask the lawyer a follow on question, what would happen if you DO change the locks. Most likely the answer will be nothing. If you feel the house is yours, is paid for by you, and he has no reason to enter... then go for it. But it would make sense to ask a lawyer first. I don't know what section 8 is so there may be special rules and regulations that I'm not aware of. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 Few things to consider. Do you have any proof of assault? Eye witness , phone recording, bruise? Did you lodge a complaint with police ? Got a restraining order? A lawyer can answer your questions about house and locks. You do need some kind of proof to strengthen your case. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moyasmom Posted December 2, 2016 Author Share Posted December 2, 2016 Well, I have talked to Legal Aid several times with poor results. Once you are assigned to an attorney, they sometimes take weeks to contact you. Then they only allow you one question before they cut you off. If you call to follow up, you have to qualify all over again. I could have gotten rid of him in October but I followed the legal aid lawyer's advice and now I'm in a worse situation. His daughter assaulted me in Sept and I had her arrested. Coincidentally, there was a warrant for his arrest for probation violation in a county 6 hours away. The probation officer told me he would likely be sentenced to 2 years. I had already filed for divorce and had a hearing set for October. The legal aid attorney told me to dismiss the divorce and see what his sentence would be. Instead, he was released after 2 months and came straight home. If I had listened to my instincts, I would have had my hearing (which took 3 months to set an emergency hearing) and had support set up and him out of the house. Yes, I have proof of the daughter's assault. I had video of her coming at me. Her charges were initially a misdemeanor but because of my injuries, they are being upgraded to felonies. BUT it takes weeks to assign the case and enter into the DA's system. I have a stay away order in place. Meanwhile, he has brought her in his car by the house and parked in front of the house TWICE. I have called the police, but as they never helped me when I called them when she threatened to beat me during the 3 weeks before the attack, they have not enforced the restraining order even though I took pictures. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moyasmom Posted December 2, 2016 Author Share Posted December 2, 2016 @PegNosePete - Section 8 housing is subsidized housing. It is discounted rent based on his income (I had no income for the 5 years we've been married) but when he let his daughter abuse me, I started working part time and filed for divorce). It is considered to be his, even though I sign the papers, too and am on the lease. So if we got divorced, he would keep the housing voucher. I don't really care if he keeps it, I can get a roommate and carry on. Link to post Share on other sites
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