Sad situation.....

[Giacomo67]

For some men sex is just sex - sounds like you are one of those men. If that is the case and you are willing to look past the sex and try to reconcile you still need to know the whole truth. This "no penetration" thing is ridicules - she's a grown woman who was having sex with a grown man. If she admits to oral than she had intercourse. Unless you want to have this haunting you forever you need to get her to confess everything now. Since you are open to reconciliation she should be willing to put it all on the table. If not then her lie will become her truth over time and you will always wonder about the truth.

 

I envy you for the way you are able to look at this thing. Good luck.

 

She did give me a total timeline and also the details.

What i meant to say is that she never thought to get to the point of sex as with penetration... weird right?

[tinkerbell16]

She did give me a total timeline and also the details.

What i meant to say is that she never thought to get to the point of sex as with penetration... weird right?

 

Yes, unbelievable really. ..

[aileD]

She did give me a total timeline and also the details.

What i meant to say is that she never thought to get to the point of sex as with penetration... weird right?

 

So she was basically just servicing him. That makes it sound so much better.

[turnera]

I'm not sure if its regret.... maybe curiosity? I mean how would my kids world be if i had forgived her?.... thats my wonder

 

If you had forgiven her at first, she would never have become a good person again. Women NEED strong men. They ONLY respond to strong men. I've seen men here with cheating wives who have turned it completely around and gotten their wives to become wonderful, loving wives again. But ONLY when those men LEFT their wives and went on to live lives without their wives. The women HAVE to believe that the men will move on without them, to be able 'hit rock bottom' and have a change of heart.

 

All the men who have given in to the cheating wives and asked them to stay home? They all ended up with wives who either divorced them, cheated again, or treated them like crap. It's just part of being a female.

 

It's possible that you two could get back together...after awhile.

[merrmeade]

She did give me a total timeline and also the details.

What i meant to say is that she never thought to get to the point of sex as with penetration... weird right?

Is it possible she only told half the story to make it seem like less to you?

[BluesPower]

If you had forgiven her at first, she would never have become a good person again. Women NEED strong men. They ONLY respond to strong men. I've seen men here with cheating wives who have turned it completely around and gotten their wives to become wonderful, loving wives again. But ONLY when those men LEFT their wives and went on to live lives without their wives. The women HAVE to believe that the men will move on without them, to be able 'hit rock bottom' and have a change of heart.

 

All the men who have given in to the cheating wives and asked them to stay home? They all ended up with wives who either divorced them, cheated again, or treated them like crap. It's just part of being a female.

 

It's possible that you two could get back together...after awhile.

 

Nothing ever written on LS is more true that these words.

 

Great job...

[Giacomo67]

So she was basically just servicing him. That makes it sound so much better.

 

Well her idea was only to masturbate each other, and have oral sex.

nothing that involves OMs penes in her vagina.

Her sick mind at the time made her think that it was a half cheating.

When it went also with penetration is when she said that she wanted to end it. bla bla bla language....

[italianjob]

Hi, Giacomo, I'm living in Italy, too.

 

I have a hard time to consider a man who goes straight to divorce with great decision, and then two years later comes back to believe things that are just not believable.

 

So you're telling me that at 40 she really went to meet the OM several times at hotels to just practice oral sex and handjobs?

 

You're telling me that she wanted to "taste" sex with another man but without penetration?

 

Those things are believable like an electoral speech from an Italian politician, and you know what I mean...

 

Yo're 49, stop believing fairy tales...

 

She is obviously trying to downplay the sex,

 

And, if I had a dollar for every cheater I read that stated that they were caught just as they were about to end it, I could retire tomorrow...

 

She's a cheater, and a liar, and she is still lying two years after the fact. Go back with this one at your own risk...

[aliveagain]

Hi, Giacomo, I'm living in Italy, too.

 

I have a hard time to consider a man who goes straight to divorce with great decision, and then two years later comes back to believe things that are just not believable.

 

So you're telling me that at 40 she really went to meet the OM several times at hotels to just practice oral sex and handjobs?

 

You're telling me that she wanted to "taste" sex with another man but without penetration?

 

Those things are believable like an electoral speech from an Italian politician, and you know what I mean...

 

Yo're 49, stop believing fairy tales...

 

She is obviously trying to downplay the sex,

 

And, if I had a dollar for every cheater I read that stated that they were caught just as they were about to end it, I could retire tomorrow...

 

She's a cheater, and a liar, and she is still lying two years after the fact. Go back with this one at your own risk...

 

 

Italianjob, your a real wordsmith, this made me laugh. I was born in the region of Lazio.

[italianjob]

Italianjob, your a real wordsmith, this made me laugh. I was born in the region of Lazio.

 

Thank you

 

It sounds like there are more italians abroad than in Italy

 

Did you grow up here or did you go away when you were young?

[Giacomo67]

Hi, Giacomo, I'm living in Italy, too.

 

I have a hard time to consider a man who goes straight to divorce with great decision, and then two years later comes back to believe things that are just not believable.

 

So you're telling me that at 40 she really went to meet the OM several times at hotels to just practice oral sex and handjobs?

 

You're telling me that she wanted to "taste" sex with another man but without penetration?

 

Those things are believable like an electoral speech from an Italian politician, and you know what I mean...

 

Yo're 49, stop believing fairy tales...

 

She is obviously trying to downplay the sex,

 

And, if I had a dollar for every cheater I read that stated that they were caught just as they were about to end it, I could retire tomorrow...

 

She's a cheater, and a liar, and she is still lying two years after the fact. Go back with this one at your own risk...

 

Ciao Lavoro Italiano!

 

Let me explane better, she was flattered when OM hit on her. Remember, she never had experience with other men execpt me. Now the way i get what she said to me is that in the beginning she liked the attention and the flirting, never thought of doing harm to anyone.

Then curiosity got the best of her and she fell for his advances by giving ONLY a kiss, a kiss became kisses and making out, making out became manual and manual became oral. All this in a short periode of time. At that point she wanted out knowing that she crossed the line, but couldnt get it over also because OM knew that her words or thoughts were not what her body language and facts were showing. So then began the full penetration.

Beleive me when i say I know every detail, she came clean with her timeline.

So when in turned in full PA with penetration she was ashamed yet exited.... just like a little baby that says "a little more then enough"

Didnt in a milion of years think that I bust her before.

 

I'm 49 and at the age of 18 I lived on my own, so the fairy tails were over a long time ago, and i am also part of the M5S so you know what we think about our politician.

[italianjob]

Ciao Lavoro Italiano!

 

Let me explane better, she was flattered when OM hit on her. Remember, she never had experience with other men execpt me. Now the way i get what she said to me is that in the beginning she liked the attention and the flirting, never thought of doing harm to anyone.

Then curiosity got the best of her and she fell for his advances by giving ONLY a kiss, a kiss became kisses and making out, making out became manual and manual became oral. All this in a short periode of time. At that point she wanted out knowing that she crossed the line, but couldnt get it over also because OM knew that her words or thoughts were not what her body language and facts were showing. So then began the full penetration.

Beleive me when i say I know every detail, she came clean with her timeline.

So when in turned in full PA with penetration she was ashamed yet exited.... just like a little baby that says "a little more then enough"

Didnt in a milion of years think that I bust her before.

 

I'm 49 and at the age of 18 I lived on my own, so the fairy tails were over a long time ago, and i am also part of the M5S so you know what we think about our politician.

 

Yeah, I'm not a political activist, but I voted for them the past elections, and I will probably vote for them in the next.

 

So, if this time I got it clear, it wasn't that she tried to have you believe she never had complete sex, but it was that she was trying to convince you that she never wanted to go all the way but it eventually happened...

 

So, while this is better than it looked, I still would find it hard to believe that a 40 years old woman would actually think that she's going to a hotel several times with a man and not end up having regular sex.

 

A 15 years old maybe, but even then I don't think she would be that naive.

 

While never having experienced other men may play with her curiosity, it doesn't entitle her to do what she did. Remember she turned down a we with her family to **** this guy, it's not something you should take lightly.

 

Also, the way you told the tale, it doesn't sound like she fought very hard the divorce at the time.

To me it sounds like she didn't know how much you knew and assumed you knew everything.

 

The truth is you didn't really investigate much (except for where she went and with whom) and now she knows that.

 

And she knows you don't have many details so she's trying to plant the doubt in you that you over reacted at the time.

 

I would be very cautious, I wouldn't jump into R just like that, proceed with your eyes wide open!

[aliveagain]

Perhaps you should make a polygraph a requirement of reconciliation. You should make sure you have all the truth before you put reconciliation on the table.

[Giacomo67]

Yeah, I'm not a political activist, but I voted for them the past elections, and I will probably vote for them in the next.

 

So, if this time I got it clear, it wasn't that she tried to have you believe she never had complete sex, but it was that she was trying to convince you that she never wanted to go all the way but it eventually happened...

 

So, while this is better than it looked, I still would find it hard to believe that a 40 years old woman would actually think that she's going to a hotel several times with a man and not end up having regular sex.

 

A 15 years old maybe, but even then I don't think she would be that naive.

 

While never having experienced other men may play with her curiosity, it doesn't entitle her to do what she did. Remember she turned down a we with her family to **** this guy, it's not something you should take lightly.

 

Also, the way you told the tale, it doesn't sound like she fought very hard the divorce at the time.

To me it sounds like she didn't know how much you knew and assumed you knew everything.

 

The truth is you didn't really investigate much (except for where she went and with whom) and now she knows that.

 

And she knows you don't have many details so she's trying to plant the doubt in you that you over reacted at the time.

 

I would be very cautious, I wouldn't jump into R just like that, proceed with your eyes wide open!

 

 

good keep voting us!!

 

To recap a little, I started having doughts when our sex life decreased and when she changed hr attitude.

The PI in less then 24 hours had all the evidence i needed. The Hotels come in when it was fully a PA, before that she said they would use the car (OM's) or in one of the empty rooms were my ex works.

 

She confessed everything the same night that I confronted her outside our favorite resteraunt in her car.

 

When I busted her she fought toth and nails to not D. me....

But she knew that it was over the moment I left the 2° time from our house. She kept refusingto sign D. papers hoping of a change of my mind that never happened.

Then she changed tactics by setting me free but never stopping to contact me evn if I never responded for the most.

 

Do I know all about the A.? IDK for sure but I dont have reasons to beleive the contrary.

 

I dont think that R. is my main gol.... it has been almost 2 years of her, still to this day, that hopes we can. I guess if she see's me engaged she might finaly understand.

 

I have been reading HOMEALONE"s thread and I do beleive that staying D. is my best option... I only need to trust women again

[Giacomo67]

Perhaps you should make a polygraph a requirement of reconciliation. You should make sure you have all the truth before you put reconciliation on the table.

 

Poligraphs in Italy are done for other reasons, unless paying many euro's might help, but honestly with a daoughter that will start University and a son that plays sports, i prefer spending money on them and not her..

[italianjob]

good keep voting us!!

 

To recap a little, I started having doughts when our sex life decreased and when she changed hr attitude.

The PI in less then 24 hours had all the evidence i needed. The Hotels come in when it was fully a PA, before that she said they would use the car (OM's) or in one of the empty rooms were my ex works.

 

She confessed everything the same night that I confronted her outside our favorite resteraunt in her car.

 

When I busted her she fought toth and nails to not D. me....

But she knew that it was over the moment I left the 2° time from our house. She kept refusingto sign D. papers hoping of a change of my mind that never happened.

Then she changed tactics by setting me free but never stopping to contact me evn if I never responded for the most.

 

Do I know all about the A.? IDK for sure but I dont have reasons to beleive the contrary.

 

I dont think that R. is my main gol.... it has been almost 2 years of her, still to this day, that hopes we can. I guess if she see's me engaged she might finaly understand.

 

I have been reading HOMEALONE"s thread and I do beleive that staying D. is my best option... I only need to trust women again

 

Ok. I was under the impression you were seriously considering R, and I still think you should be cautios with that.

 

Homealone A was 2 years long. Do you know how long was your wife's affair? Do you know if there are details that would be dealbreakers in themselves? Sometimes when a BH is set to D he won't explore details in depth, because it hurts too much and seems useless if you have already decided to D. If you R it's different... IMO, you need to know everything you can to make a well tought out decision.

 

If it was me, for example, I could give no chance to a 2 years long A. It's just too long, I would not be able to believe she hasn't completely detached by that time. But that's me...

 

Poligraphs in Italy are done for other reasons, unless paying many euro's might help, but honestly with a daoughter that will start University and a son that plays sports, i prefer spending money on them and not her..

 

Yeah, Idk if there are some private service business that perform that kind of test, but I don't think so. I think only Police forces have that kind of thing and you can't hire that for private reasons.

 

Besides, it's far from italian mentality, you and your wife would be the laughing stock of the Police Station and everyone who knows if you should ask...

[Noideanow]

Go back to her and settle for what she has to offer...no love..a woman who loves you never in a million years want to "experience" another man, given that you treat her with love and devotion too:cool: What i think your wife is (assuming you were a loving husband) is a very cheap hollow person with no Heart and soul left, the question is, is it possible for that to Change? Or Will you risk settling? Will she return to her old ways as Soon as she has you back, im afraid so:(

[Giacomo67]

well.... this was an interressing weekend.

My BIL had his first baby 3 months ago and he had called me the same vening, i was really happy for him also because they tryed to have one for over 3 years, and we had talked many times about it.

 

So now he decided to baptize the baby and asked my ex to be the godmother. You can immagine already were this is headed to.

 

This weekend i was on my own doing country work, then i receive a phone call from my ex and I was thinking that it was for my kids, so i answerd. She started asking useless things so i was about to cut short and hang up, then she said straight out if I wanted to be a grandfather of our nephew! Not as husben and wife , but just as 2 adults baptizing.

 

I counted to 10 before answering.... so I said that I cant be his Granfather because I no longer attend as before Bil house and family... and also because that would mean to see each other more often and I was not willing to do so.

She understood but doesnt understand why our problems have to involve an innocent baby. My answer was that WE dont have any problems since we are D. and that the ONLY problems will be the well being of our kids.

 

Thoughts about this? Did i do wrong?

[tinkerbell16]

well.... this was an interressing weekend.

My BIL had his first baby 3 months ago and he had called me the same vening, i was really happy for him also because they tryed to have one for over 3 years, and we had talked many times about it.

 

So now he decided to baptize the baby and asked my ex to be the godmother. You can immagine already were this is headed to.

 

This weekend i was on my own doing country work, then i receive a phone call from my ex and I was thinking that it was for my kids, so i answerd. She started asking useless things so i was about to cut short and hang up, then she said straight out if I wanted to be a grandfather of our nephew! Not as husben and wife , but just as 2 adults baptizing.

 

I counted to 10 before answering.... so I said that I cant be his Granfather because I no longer attend as before Bil house and family... and also because that would mean to see each other more often and I was not willing to do so.

She understood but doesnt understand why our problems have to involve an innocent baby. My answer was that WE dont have any problems since we are D. and that the ONLY problems will be the well being of our kids.

 

Thoughts about this? Did i do wrong?

 

Well done. Perfect response!

[BTDT2012]

well.... this was an interressing weekend.

My BIL had his first baby 3 months ago and he had called me the same vening, i was really happy for him also because they tryed to have one for over 3 years, and we had talked many times about it.

 

So now he decided to baptize the baby and asked my ex to be the godmother. You can immagine already were this is headed to.

 

This weekend i was on my own doing country work, then i receive a phone call from my ex and I was thinking that it was for my kids, so i answerd. She started asking useless things so i was about to cut short and hang up, then she said straight out if I wanted to be a grandfather of our nephew! Not as husben and wife , but just as 2 adults baptizing.

 

I counted to 10 before answering.... so I said that I cant be his Granfather because I no longer attend as before Bil house and family... and also because that would mean to see each other more often and I was not willing to do so.

She understood but doesnt understand why our problems have to involve an innocent baby. My answer was that WE dont have any problems since we are D. and that the ONLY problems will be the well being of our kids.

 

Thoughts about this? Did i do wrong?

You did nothing wrong. And in any event, the request to be a godparent should come from one of the parents.

[Buckeye2]

You did great.

 

If you are friendly with her it’s a symbol to everyone that what she did must not have been all that bad after all. If you can forgive her, as the major injured party, how can anyone else not forgive her. That's one reason why she wants you to be the Godfather.

 

In addition, being joint Godparents opens the door for friendly socialization and communication which provides her an opportunity to work on you. Your wife is missing her family life. She’s contemplating growing old and wants to do it with you.

 

From the TV show House:

 

Wilson divorced his cheating wife. Now she wants him back.

 

Wilson: People change, House.

 

House: Sure. They get older, ovaries start drying up, and nice guys like you look attractive again.

 

Remember:

 

Since we never skipped intimacy for more then 4 days in a row, at day 10 I simply asked her what was happening... and she flipped out! She started telling me that all i look for is sex

 

What did she think the OM wanted? He didn’t leave his wife for her. Why did she have to "flip out" on you?

 

I booked a flight to Rome and a hotel 5 stars from friday evening till sunday afternoon. She was indeed surprized but then pissed off that i had done that without knowing that she had already organized her work schedule to be ther friday evening and saturday morning, and of course i was stupid to wast money like that.

 

She would rather be in a hotel with the OM than with you. Plus she was pissed at you for arranging a romantic weekend.

Edited December 12, 2016 by Buckeye2

[Giacomo67]

What did she think the OM wanted? He didn’t leave his wife for her. Why did she have to "flip out" on you?

 

 

 

I think that at that time she was ashamed of herself, and her attacking me was sort of defending what she was doing... IDK .... i guess she was just mentaly in disorder

 

She would rather be in a hotel with the OM than with you. Plus she was pissed at you for arranging a romantic weekend.

 

 

Yes. Well actualy she did have somework to do that weekend, but it could have been done the following monday.

Also I do beleive that she thought i would cancel it and rebook on a date agreed by both. The fact that i took of probably got her pissed and validated her reasons to meet up with OM.

Edited December 13, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
quote formatting ~6

[Giacomo67]

So i received a phone call also from my BIL..... he asked me the same question my ex asked...... he said it wouldve been an honor for him if i acepted.

I told him if he wanted to go out for a beer so we can talk face to face.

I dont like explaning things over the phone.

 

So tonight I got a date...... with my ex BIL

[harrybrown]

Good luck, but keep her out of your life.

 

Your BIL may want to help his sister with her problems.

 

you do not need her problems.

[Buckeye2]

This is a ploy cooked up by your ex and her brother to get her back into your life. They may even think that their intentions are good. They just want to reunite your family. They want what's best for you and your kids. So don't be too hard on your BIL. He may mean well.

 

The Godparent thing is really smart. How can you refuse to discuss anything but your children in front of a baby the two of you are supposed to be looking out for? It would be very heartless. Once they get you talking then she can work on you.

Edited December 13, 2016 by Buckeye2