Alpha, beta ?

[jen1447]

My daughter has been drawing little "tattoos" on us all week from this temporary tattoo kit she has.

 

Tonight she drew a whole bunch of pink and purple flowers all up her Dad's arm.

 

He's not going to scrub them off and just going to let it wear away naturally for a couple days. So she doesn't have any hurt feelings. Plus, he's a very proud Dad.

 

OMG that's so gay and beta. No real man would wear pink anywhere.

 

(See what I did there? I made an erroneous judgment of a demonstrably real man as a non-man by applying some arbitrary subjective criteria.)

[Taramere]

I suppose "alpha" implies natural leadership abilities. I've heard lots of people define themselves as alphas, but with the people who do that often it seems to be mainly a case of they want to lead or think they should be in charge. Doesn't always mean that they're particularly good at leading or that other people want to follow them.

 

These guys (and there are women like this too) who want to be leaders in every activity they participate in can be a real annoyance. I remember going on this diving trip years back, and there was an older guy who considered himself an expert and kept trying to usurp the diving instructor's authority. The diving instructor was a very chilled out sort of guy, but you could tell he was getting pissed off with this wannabee alphamale of the group. As was everybody else. When he got the message that he wasn't going to succeed in undermining the diving instructor, he took to moaning about everything.

 

PUA type forums are full of guys obsessing over how to be "alpha" and I can imagine a fair few of them are like that guy (he was sleazing around all the women on the boat too, which was a nightmare as it was a small boat). Really, I think most people switch between being alpha in some areas and "followers" in others - depending on their skills and strengths. A lot depends on self confidence of course, but I think most people will push for a leadership role in areas where they believe they're the strongest (in the group) in a particular area.

 

Again, people who are too preoccupied with the idea of being "alpha" can sometimes hinder a group's progress by vying for leadership when somebody else in the group is better equipped for the role in that particular situation.

[Sunkissedpatio]

My daughter has been drawing little "tattoos" on us all week from this temporary tattoo kit she has.

 

Tonight she drew a whole bunch of pink and purple flowers all up her Dad's arm.

 

He's not going to scrub them off and just going to let it wear away naturally for a couple days. So she doesn't have any hurt feelings. Plus, he's a very proud Dad.

 

To me. That's super-attractive.

It actually got my motor running. That he's such a strong guy with his own personality who uses that in a way to let our daughter know she's special.

 

If there was an "Ultimate Alpha" for me, it would be that.

 

Not some dork in a bar "negging" and acting like he's "just too cool" trying to score a series of ONS with any girl who has a pulse.

 

To me that's actually quite alpha Dreaming, because it speaks to quite a few of the character traits on my list

 

self-confidence

won't compromise values to meet society's expectations

determined

heck it even speaks to leadership skills (trend setter for yummy daddies everywhere wearing kids' tattoos to work )

 

And yup, I agree with the negging crap. That is precisely why people see the whole alpha/beta thing so off-putting because of jackasses like those PUA's who determined an alpha is loud, obnoxious womanizing, man-child, with 0 standards. that goes around the bar pulling petty tricks from his rehearsed arsenal to try and take "Bambi" home for the night.

 

That's the furthest thing for an alpha. That is an insecure reject wanting to fit in and hoping to get some action.

[Haydn]

My daughter has been drawing little "tattoos" on us all week from this temporary tattoo kit she has.

 

Tonight she drew a whole bunch of pink and purple flowers all up her Dad's arm.

 

He's not going to scrub them off and just going to let it wear away naturally for a couple days. So she doesn't have any hurt feelings. Plus, he's a very proud Dad.

 

To me. That's super-attractive.

It actually got my motor running. That he's such a strong guy with his own personality who uses that in a way to let our daughter know she's special.

 

If there was an "Ultimate Alpha" for me, it would be that.

 

Not some dork in a bar "negging" and acting like he's "just too cool" trying to score a series of ONS with any girl who has a pulse.

 

I wear`loom` bands my girls make.

 

Some quite striking colours. (Pretty awful ones)

 

Anyone asks me, i just say i`ll be murdered if i take them them off.

 

I would be.

 

They decide when they come off.

 

No other blokes harmed.....

[thefooloftheyear]

I suppose "alpha" implies natural leadership abilities. I've heard lots of people define themselves as alphas, but with the people who do that often it seems to be mainly a case of they want to lead or think they should be in charge. Doesn't always mean that they're particularly good at leading or that other people want to follow them.

 

These guys (and there are women like this too) who want to be leaders in every activity they participate in can be a real annoyance. I remember going on this diving trip years back, and there was an older guy who considered himself an expert and kept trying to usurp the diving instructor's authority. The diving instructor was a very chilled out sort of guy, but you could tell he was getting pissed off with this wannabee alphamale of the group. As was everybody else. When he got the message that he wasn't going to succeed in undermining the diving instructor, he took to moaning about everything.

 

PUA type forums are full of guys obsessing over how to be "alpha" and I can imagine a fair few of them are like that guy (he was sleazing around all the women on the boat too, which was a nightmare as it was a small boat). Really, I think most people switch between being alpha in some areas and "followers" in others - depending on their skills and strengths. A lot depends on self confidence of course, but I think most people will push for a leadership role in areas where they believe they're the strongest (in the group) in a particular area.

 

Again, people who are too preoccupied with the idea of being "alpha" can sometimes hinder a group's progress by vying for leadership when somebody else in the group is better equipped for the role in that particular situation.

 

Agree with most of this...

 

People don't generally "become" Alpha....This usually happens very early in life...And I don't believe that they need to vie for leadership...Those are mostly just peckerheads, as you have described...

 

Its mostly not what they do, but how people react/interact in their presence......Like the example I mentioned with my daughter and her friends....One of the girls is just the leader...Its nothing she herself is doing or how she is acting....or how she even looks...She's the leader, she's the heavy...She is the one that the others hang on...It just is that way...

 

Natural alphas don't unsettle people, as you mentioned......They do they exact opposite...they bring calmness to a group....

 

TFY

[Wade Lamare]

My daughter has been drawing little "tattoos" on us all week from this temporary tattoo kit she has.

 

Tonight she drew a whole bunch of pink and purple flowers all up her Dad's arm.

 

He's not going to scrub them off and just going to let it wear away naturally for a couple days. So she doesn't have any hurt feelings. Plus, he's a very proud Dad.

 

To me. That's super-attractive.

It actually got my motor running. That he's such a strong guy with his own personality who uses that in a way to let our daughter know she's special.

 

If there was an "Ultimate Alpha" for me, it would be that.

 

Not some dork in a bar "negging" and acting like he's "just too cool" trying to score a series of ONS with any girl who has a pulse.

 

I wear`loom` bands my girls make.

 

Some quite striking colours. (Pretty awful ones)

 

Anyone asks me, i just say i`ll be murdered if i take them them off.

 

I would be.

 

They decide when they come off.

 

No other blokes harmed.....

 

Right, you think you've got it tough.

 

I have to sit in a circle with my granddaughters, wear pink ribbons in my hair, have tea parties with pretend tea, rock their dolls to sleep and read them girly bedtime stories whilst wearing a pink tutu.

 

I'm way more beta than you.

 

You try and tell kids of today that and they don't believe you.

[dichotomy]

I suppose "alpha" implies natural leadership abilities. I've heard lots of people define themselves as alphas, but with the people who do that often it seems to be mainly a case of they want to lead or think they should be in charge. Doesn't always mean that they're particularly good at leading or that other people want to follow them.

 

These guys (and there are women like this too) who want to be leaders in every activity they participate in can be a real annoyance. I remember going on this diving trip years back, and there was an older guy who considered himself an expert and kept trying to usurp the diving instructor's authority. The diving instructor was a very chilled out sort of guy, but you could tell he was getting pissed off with this wannabee alphamale of the group. As was everybody else. When he got the message that he wasn't going to succeed in undermining the diving instructor, he took to moaning about everything.

 

PUA type forums are full of guys obsessing over how to be "alpha" and I can imagine a fair few of them are like that guy (he was sleazing around all the women on the boat too, which was a nightmare as it was a small boat). Really, I think most people switch between being alpha in some areas and "followers" in others - depending on their skills and strengths. A lot depends on self confidence of course, but I think most people will push for a leadership role in areas where they believe they're the strongest (in the group) in a particular area.

 

Again, people who are too preoccupied with the idea of being "alpha" can sometimes hinder a group's progress by vying for leadership when somebody else in the group is better equipped for the role in that particular situation.

 

 

This is once facet of alpha - one way. I am viewed as a leader in few areas in my life. I am a leader in my profession, and my community. People look up to me, respect me, and ask me to lead things.

 

I have also from time to time due to my size - intimatec other men, and I get deferential treatment. I suppose thats another "alpha view"

 

However I sometimes think here on Loveshack "alpha" is used to describe a ladies man or player - or type of guy who can get laid easily. This type of guy may not be viewed as a leader - he is not respected or trusted. He may not also be particularly physically intimating as that does not go with women's comfort level.

 

I guess Alpha can mean alot of things.

[Wade Lamare]

OK....But you are only correlating CEOs' with height....I can guarantee you that not all of those guys are Alpha's ....Some? sure...All?? no way....

 

Not alpha? Ummm I'm pretty sure that being the CEO of a Fortune 500 is pretty much the epitome of an alpha. You usually don't get to be the CEO unless you are a fairly socially dominant person. Obviously some of them will be shorter or less handsome but as the average is around 6' I would have thought the arithmetic mode would be fairly near 6'.

 

 

How about guys like Pablo Escobar, Suge Knight, El Chapo, John Gotti Sr. etc...

 

These are just a few examples, but I can go on for days...All these guys are pure Alphas...Sure, they got rich, but they weren't always rich...They used the Alpha qualities they were born with and honed their craft...Money. power and women are all part of the trappings of being fortunate enough to be an Alpha..

 

Suge Knight? Dude's 6' 2" and I have no idea what women find attractive but apart from being a bit of a chubster he looks pretty good looking to me.

 

I'd give you good odds, say 10,000 to 1, that if, instead of being 6' 2" and really good at running around with a bag of air in his hands he'd been 5' 5" and served burgers you would never have heard of the alpha Suge Knight.

 

So thanks, that's one for me, way to prove my point.

 

El Chapo? At first glance he's not too tall. But if you take the average height of a Mexican into account, approximately 5' 4" then El Chapo at about 5' 7" is tall for a Mexican. He also looks to me as though he is fairly good looking.

 

So I'll take that as another one for me.

 

Pablo Escobar? Average height for Colombia so I'll give that one to you. However he was gunned down at 44 so that alpha thing didn't work out too well for him really. However, again dude did look fairly handsome to me.

 

No idea of Gotti's physical characteristics.

 

It's just basic science, human biology. 'Alpha' tends to correlate with height, voice and face. Not always, there is always someone who is knee high to a grasshopper but they are the exception to the rule.

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/head-games/201412/are-alpha-males-myth-or-reality

 

Whether I am or not, I wont say....But there are certain aspects of human behavior that I have observed over the years that really have no other logical explanation..

 

I go into a place in the morning some days to get breakfast...There are all women working the counter and one guy...Even though I say very little to anyone in real life, when I go there, it seems like everyone stops what they are doing to help me..Its very obvious...I have never seen them do that with anyone else on line...And no. I dont leave any huge tips or anything...

 

That's what they're meant to do, it'd be a pretty piss poor breakfast place if the instant you walked up to the counter they started whistling and pretending you weren't there.

 

Practically every guy that i meet on the street (business, etc)that doesn't know my name either calls me "sir" or "chief..".I don't do that to guys I meet....I may call them "buddy" or something else..

 

When I am at the store and waiting on line, there have been many occasions where guys have offered to let me get in front of them....I never accept, but that seems odd...Never said I was in a hurry, never said anything at all.Just standing there waiting in line with everyone else...

 

I grew up in a very dangerous area, and to this day, I often have to go to dangerous and crime ridden areas on business...I've never been accosted, robbed, mugged, anything...I am not that young, you would think that after all these years someone would have tried to seize an opportunity...nope..

 

Even in my family...I am always the one people come to to get answers., solve problems.etc...And yes, women do treat me probably better than I deserve...

 

There really can't be any other explanation...I don't generally have a "magnetic" type of personality...And I say very little...so its not that either..

 

TFY

 

Men who meet me call me 'chap', women who meet me call me 'love' or in more formal settings 'sir'

 

The only way I would ever suggest you move in front of me is if you only had one or two items and I had a stack of stuff. Otherwise you'd wait your turn. If some bellend tries to queue jump I simply step out in front of them.

 

Very glad you've never been hurt, one, just because. And two because I enjoy your posts here, they always make me think even if I don't always totally agree with them.

 

Yep, same here. I'm the one people come to get help. At my previous job where I looked after our Tetra radio network, members of the Fire Brigade, Police etc. would come to me for assistance, bypassing the line manager as I had the rep of being a guy who would do what he'd said he'd do. Was a tad embarrassing when the general manager would bypass the line manager and come direct to me.

[Wade Lamare]

Frodo is so beta.

 

Sam Gamgee is way worse. Must be an omega or epsilon, always going on about Master Frodo.

[Wade Lamare]

Um, how important is the "dress well" part?

 

I dunno. I was trying (badly) to summarise some of the stuff that Athol and similar suggest.

 

To be absolutely honest I find it incredible that a man needs to read a book to find out that most mature women prefer their men to be well dressed. Of course their well dressed may not be someone else's well dressed.

 

It can be situational, a little while back I was doing some work on the house.

 

I had on ripped jeans, t-shirt, holding a jack hammer (Kango) and covered in stone and plaster dust. My wife thought it was a very hot look and so did other women who saw the pic. Still don't get it, I thought I looked a mess.

Put the pic in my album btw so you can see what I mean.

 

Very recently I was again working on the house (seems never ending) and had to pick my wife up from the airport. She was less than impressed that I'd turned out to collect in dusty, paint stained clothes.

[road]

Ok, so a film with Adam Sandler in it = real life?

 

Whatever.

 

A fictional movie is not the point. The point is that in real life some women that would not normally cheat with an average Joe will cheat when they have the opportunity to get with someone famous. They get their ego stroked big time and figure it is a one time deal and their BH will never know,

[road]

OMG that's so gay and beta. No real man would wear pink anywhere.

 

(See what I did there? I made an erroneous judgment of a demonstrably real man as a non-man by applying some arbitrary subjective criteria.)

 

No all you did was take the words pink and flowers out of context to make a point that was not there.

[Wade Lamare]

A fictional movie is not the point. The point is that in real life some women that would not normally cheat with an average Joe will cheat when they have the opportunity to get with someone famous. They get their ego stroked big time and figure it is a one time deal and their BH will never know,

 

I'd have been much more impressed with your point if you'd given me a verifiable real life scenario.

 

Besides which Adam Sandler hasn't been funny since dinosaurs roamed the earth. Or if you're twelve.

 

I do understand that famous peeps both male and female, get tons of sex thrown at them.

 

But by and large it's because they're famous, not because they're 'alpha'. The only 'alphaness' they might have is directly tied to their fame.

 

If they weren't movie stars or rock stars they'd be ordinary joes just like everyone else.

 

Plus if you took your 'alpha' movie star, rock star or big time CEO and threw them into Sing Sing Prison for 5 years they'd pretty much be everyone's beta *word I'm not allowed to say*

[Wade Lamare]

I'd have been much more impressed with your point if you'd given me a verifiable real life scenario.

 

Besides which Adam Sandler hasn't been funny since dinosaurs roamed the earth. Or if you're twelve.

 

I do understand that famous peeps both male and female, get tons of sex thrown at them.

 

But by and large it's because they're famous, not because they're 'alpha'. The only 'alphaness' they might have is directly tied to their fame.

 

If they weren't movie stars or rock stars they'd be ordinary joes just like everyone else.

 

Plus if you took your 'alpha' movie star, rock star or big time CEO and threw them into Sing Sing Prison for 5 years they'd pretty much be everyone's beta *word I'm not allowed to say*

 

There's an English footballer (soccer player) called Peter Crouch. He's a tall, gangly, skinny, awkward looking guy. Because he's made millions kicking a bag of wind around he is married to Abbey Clancy, a very beautiful model.

 

When asked once, what would you have been if you hadn't been a famous footballer? He replied "A virgin."

 

https://www.google.gg/search?q=abbey+clancy&newwindow=1&biw=1366&bih=691&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&sqi=2&ved=0ahUKEwj3h8yAwd7QAhVsIsAKHfXNAmwQ_AUIBigB

Edited December 6, 2016 by Wade Lamare
add link

[dreamingoftigers]

I dunno. I was trying (badly) to summarise some of the stuff that Athol and similar suggest.

 

To be absolutely honest I find it incredible that a man needs to read a book to find out that most mature women prefer their men to be well dressed. Of course their well dressed may not be someone else's well dressed.

 

It can be situational, a little while back I was doing some work on the house.

 

I had on ripped jeans, t-shirt, holding a jack hammer (Kango) and covered in stone and plaster dust. My wife thought it was a very hot look and so did other women who saw the pic. Still don't get it, I thought I looked a mess.

Put the pic in my album btw so you can see what I mean.

 

Very recently I was again working on the house (seems never ending) and had to pick my wife up from the airport. She was less than impressed that I'd turned out to collect in dusty, paint stained clothes.

 

I never thought about it too much until I picked up dinner from a pub/restaurant the other night.

 

I went in, got my food on the pub side and as I was waiting this guy came up and asked me if I "needed a ride home." To which I said no. But of course he was drink and insistent that "it's cold outside" blah blah blah.

 

But it was hard for me to even breathe in to turn him down because it was obvious he'd been wearing his jeans for days if not weeks. It absolutely stank.

 

Plus, ID never accept a ride from a guy, especially a drunk guy, especially when I drive and live three doors down from the pub LMAO.

 

But laundry, at the very least, is a pretty crucial thing.

[normal person]

You can use whatever nomenclature you want. But there are people, regardless of gender, who make decisions and provide resources like food, security, money, etc, and people who depend on those people and defer to them to make decisions.

 

Whoever controls the resources and provides the best chance for advancement or survival will usually be deferred to.

 

Watch "Shark Tank." People defer to the sharks ("alphas") and bow down to them because they have resources necessary for their business to grow or survive. The balance of power based on resources is clearly evident.

 

Then, watch a few pitches where a few sharks make offers and Mark (who has more money than all of the others combined) stays silent, and they all peer over at him and ask "What're you going to do, Mark?" He has more money and thus more resources than them. He's the alpha of the alphas. They defer to him because his actions can affect the outcome more than anyone's.

 

Call it whatever you like. Being in control of the survival, advancement, and desires of others a quality some would call "alpha" and being dependent on that person is what could be called "beta."

 

It can be fluid depending on circumstance.

[Methodical]

Ppl tend to get too caught up with labels...alpha/beta, hetero/homo/bi/gay/trans, etc. Really, labels belong on products, not ppl. Most ppl won't fit into one neatly labeled package.

[basil67]

You can use whatever nomenclature you want. But there are people, regardless of gender, who make decisions and provide resources like food, security, money, etc, and people who depend on those people and defer to them to make decisions.

 

So does this make hubby and I both alphas and the children betas?

[Taramere]

Natural alphas don't unsettle people, as you mentioned......They do they exact opposite...they bring calmness to a group....

 

TFY

 

Yes. The diving instructor I mentioned was like that. If the group hadn't liked or respected him, then another group member's knowledge of diving would probably seemed a lot more credible. Especially with a risky activity like that. Any sort of risk taking sport, where you're relying on the instructor to really know their stuff and take proper safety measures, really sorts out the natural leaders from the annoying wannabees. Or worse still, the psychopaths.

 

Lots of people get a buzz from risk-taking activities, but somebody high on the psychopathy scale has a lack of the accompanying sense of responsibility for other people's safety that you would look for in a leader, in these activities. I went diving with another instructor, in Spain. This guy wanted to lead me through caves when my air was at the level that my previous instructor had taught me I should ascend at.

 

You don't want to ever sail close to the wind when it comes to being able to breathe in an underwater cave. I think I'd been using more air than I needed to precisely because instinctively I wasn't comfortable with this instructor (don't know if you dive - but when you're stressed or panicking you use a lot more air). I indicated that I was low on air. The instructor made a "no problem" gesture and pointed to his air. ie that he could share air with me. I ascended after that. There was no way I was swimming in a cave low on air and potentially being reliant on that guy's air supply. Not that I think "psychopath!" - but definitely too irresponsible and untrustworthy for me to accept or trust his leadership.

 

I think a lot of message board psychology out there, preached by self appointed gurus, does encourage men to associate "being alpha" with demonstrating high levels of psychopathy. I think that can "work" on two kinds of women.

 

1. Self esteem so low that they won't question a guy who's putting them at actual risk, because they don't think their own safety and well-being matters enough. In some cases, women who may have been brought up in neglectful households.

 

2. Women who are unusually confident, bold and tending towards irresponsible risk-taking. Maybe gravitating towards psychopathy themselves, or else a combination of bold temperament and brought up in a highly competitive environment where risk-taking in sport is encouraged to the point where it becomes a controversial parenting style.

Edited December 6, 2016 by Taramere

[fenix]

so if you are not an alpha or a beta .... are you an-alpha-bet? :lmao:

[wmacbride]

I still don't believe there is any such thing as alpha , beta, etc. in humans.

 

The traits that some say make up an "alpha" are so culturally based.What one culture sees as being good leadership traits, another might see as boorish,bossy or an all out jackass. the same is true on an individual. What some might see as good leadership, others might see as someone being pompous, overhearing or arrogant.

 

If this is true, then there is no real biological/evolutionary basis for the term "alpha" at all.

 

I also think you can be en excellent leader without fitting in to the "alpha" category that some like to use. Some of the most soft spoken, quiet and gentle people I have ever met have also been the best leaders, in one area in which they are knowledgeable and feel confident. In another area, they are happy letting someone else take the reins.

 

I'm not sure who mentioned it,but one poster detailed how people pay a lot of attention to him in coffee shops, grocery stores, etc., and tend to defer to him and let him go in front of them, in the line. They feel these are "alpha" traits- I think.

 

That may not be the case. Many people, if they have a large order and someone else only has a few items, will let the other person go first. that's just being polite. I do it a lot,and I can't recall ever doing so because I was in awe of the person. I was just trying to treat them the I would like to be.

 

Second, some people will act a certain way around someone who is tall or otherwise "big" because of fear. Shrink that same person down to average height/ size, and they might suddenly find they are overlooked.

 

Third, anyone can attract an entourage of male and female hangers on if they have money or celebrity. That is not ";leadership". Take those away, and that person would find themselves with a lot fewer friends and admirers.

[Miss Peach]

I believe in alpha/beta but I think it's often bent out of shape a lot when people write and think about it.

 

If you take it back to masculine and feminine energy this does have a place in psychology. Carl Jung has a lot of theories about this. Dr. Pay Allen has continued these theories.

 

I associate Alpha with masculine energy and beta with feminine energy. Jung says everyone has both but one is often more publicly facing and influences how someone feels valued.

 

It's like ballroom dancing. Both dancers do equal work but in the end one needs to lead and the other follows. Both roles are difficult. They are equal but they are not the same. If both lead or both follow the dance falls apart.

[DrReplyInRhymes]

My observance, even if it's unwanted: (Shadow banning is cruel)

 

"Alpha" and "beta" are metaphors to describe what people will eventually gravitate toward. It is a black-and-white marketed and simplified version of how to attract the opposite gender for sex for men. It was a step-by-step process for the average guy down the street to legitimately attract a woman because previously, and full of failure, he wasn't able to do it and now has been presented a plan that was/is/will be proven over and over again.

 

What is isn't: a relationship guide.

 

It's akin to the drawing a of a molecule. You know there's protons, neutrons, and electrons. We can even draw circles connecting each of them together. Yet when viewed under a microscope, it looks vastly different, although the traits of the molecules are still completely observable. They may even be arranged differently than the schematic. But it's there, and it's written in a simplistic form to do with what you will.

 

Many "alpha" men have these traits naturally. Other men acquire these traits through research or trial and error.

 

This is also a theory that is applied for a majority of people. As with ANY theory, there will always be outliers. Those who go against the grain. Just as in if you say jump, some ask "how high", some ask "why", and some may just ignore you altogether only to go tell the next person to jump and find out for themselves why you would ask that initially.

 

It's a concept that has been around since the inception of our species, however you want to believe that inception occurred is up to you. It is NOT gender specific, although it is generally sold to men who lacked the capacity to learn these traits naturally.

 

It's an observable, trainable, and constantly verified marketable skill. Women and men alike generally refute this by providing outlandish examples of how it doesn't work while at the same time verifying this strategy with their behavior and mate selection DURING dating.

 

Again, it is not a relationship guide. It's not a marriage handbook.

 

It is a blueprint for those who were born with or morphed into social inadequacy, whether intended or not.

 

It's the 20% of men that women chase, sharing the knowledge to the 80% of men that apparently don't get as much play. Whether you desire that play or not is completely irrelevant.

 

Distilled down to the very core of the information being shared, it's also a way for the men who are too shy, too powerless, too socially inept to get into women's panties. Women generally don't have this trouble. Even if you are a fat and ugly woman, you can find a man to fill the hole, somewhere. Being picky about who you select is not the same as not having any options available at all.

Edited December 6, 2016 by DrReplyInRhymes
Yes, I'm an *******. It's still a PROVEN theory.

[Wade Lamare]

My observance, even if it's unwanted: (Shadow banning is cruel)

 

"Alpha" and "beta" are metaphors to describe what people will eventually gravitate toward. It is a black-and-white marketed and simplified version of how to attract the opposite gender for sex for men. It was a step-by-step process for the average guy down the street to legitimately attract a woman because previously, and full of failure, he wasn't able to do it and now has been presented a plan that was/is/will be proven over and over again.

 

What is isn't: a relationship guide.

 

It's akin to the drawing a of a molecule. You know there's protons, neutrons, and electrons. We can even draw circles connecting each of them together. Yet when viewed under a microscope, it looks vastly different, although the traits of the molecules are still completely observable. They may even be arranged differently than the schematic. But it's there, and it's written in a simplistic form to do with what you will.

 

Many "alpha" men have these traits naturally. Other men acquire these traits through research or trial and error.

 

This is also a theory that is applied for a majority of people. As with ANY theory, there will always be outliers. Those who go against the grain. Just as in if you say jump, some ask "how high", some ask "why", and some may just ignore you altogether only to go tell the next person to jump and find out for themselves why you would ask that initially.

 

It's a concept that has been around since the inception of our species, however you want to believe that inception occurred is up to you. It is NOT gender specific, although it is generally sold to men who lacked the capacity to learn these traits naturally.

 

It's an observable, trainable, and constantly verified marketable skill. Women and men alike generally refute this by providing outlandish examples of how it doesn't work while at the same time verifying this strategy with their behavior and mate selection DURING dating.

 

Again, it is not a relationship guide. It's not a marriage handbook.

 

It is a blueprint for those who were born with or morphed into social inadequacy, whether intended or not.

 

It's the 20% of men that women chase, sharing the knowledge to the 80% of men that apparently don't get as much play. Whether you desire that play or not is completely irrelevant.

 

Distilled down to the very core of the information being shared, it's also a way for the men who are too shy, too powerless, too socially inept to get into women's panties. Women generally don't have this trouble. Even if you are a fat and ugly woman, you can find a man to fill the hole, somewhere. Being picky about who you select is not the same as not having any options available at all.

 

And yet few of these purveyors of alphaness can agree on how you become alpha. Each one seems to have a different set of rules by which you become alpha which would indicate to me that it is largely rubbish.

 

From, How America Became Infatuated With a Cartoonish Idea of ‘Alpha Males’ by Jesse Singal

 

A Cultural History of the ?Alpha Male? Concept

 

"Mike Cernovich, a well-known and rather acerbic manosphere presence with 45,000 Twitter followers, tells his readers to “Stop smiling so much, you goofs.” “Girls always tell me I need to smile more,” he writes. “Well if girls think I am so ugly with my Mr. Frowny Face, why are they always talking to me and grabbing my arms and telling me how great my back feels when they hug me? I smile when around my god daughters and my dog. Otherwise I don’t see any need to smile like some*goof.”

 

Did you notice the mixed signals? Just a few paragraphs ago, Mystery told us to smile. Which is it? This sort of contradiction is a common theme in alpha-land. Should you smile, or no? Should you confidently approach women, or ignore them, making yourself out to be the center of the room until they come to you? How much empathy should you exhibit? Different peddlers of alpha offer different answers. These inconsistencies raise the question of just how rigorous and scientific the idea of an alpha male really*is."

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From The Myth of the Alpha Male.

 

The Alpha Male Myth | The Art of Manliness

 

“But wait…don’t some women go for the Bad Boy? I’ve seen it happen!”

While studies show that most women find prestigious men more attractive than dominant men for both short-term affairs and long-term relationships, the research also suggests that, when given the choice, some types of women will still pick the dominant ******* over the upstanding prestigious man. Women with a “fast life” history (meaning they grew up in an insecure and unstable environment with little or no parental support), insecure attachment, and who hold hostile, sexist attitudes about their fellow females typically prefer a short-term mating strategy and engage in frequent, uncommitted sexual activity (Olderbak & Figueredo, 2010; Bohner et al, 2010; Kirkpatrick & Davis 1994). These sorts of women typically prefer the stereotypical dominant and aggressive “alpha” male to the more pro-social, prestigious male (Hall & Canterberry, 2011).

 

While it is possible to pick up some types of women by acting “alpha,” because of the kind of women this seduction method attracts, the flings you successfully land can become messier than you bargained for. It’s for this reason that men who go for the alpha male ideology often fall victim to a selection bias in regards to*their perception of women: because the women who are attracted to them are less stable and more promiscuous, they come to believe that all women are [promiscuous] and “crazy.”

 

At the same time, when these men try their dominant pick-up techniques on more well-adjusted women, their hostility and narcissism creep the women out, and cause them to turn these guys down. This rejection makes these would-be “pick-up artists” more hostile to women, and they figure the problem is that they’re still too much of a “nice guy.” They then try to up their alpha quotient even further, which makes even more women turn away from them. And the cycle continues."

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The only thing these PUA, alpha dog types are teaching their followers is confidence.

 

They are told that they should smile, not smile, approach, be aloof, neg, or whatever the alpha move de jour is and they will have success when they approach women. They just have to keep negging, being aloof, peacocking whatever and it will eventually work.

 

The key point of that sentence is "They just have to keep". Instead of being sat at the bar with their nerdy mates saying "Cor, I'd give that one." or casting disparaging remarks about the women, they are actually going out and meeting the women, talking to them.

 

Over time these guys become more comfortable and relaxed talking to the women and, aided by their pseudo psych mental props their confidence grows.

 

The number one trait that practically all the women I've seen posting on this website and IRL say they find attractive in a man is confidence. Quiet assured confidence.

 

The number one trait that the 'natural alphas' that these guys look up to isn't negging, peacocking, smiling, approaching, not smiling or whatever psycho babble is popular, it's quiet confidence.

 

You could get exactly the same effect by holding your self to a promise to speak to 20 random women in a month. By the end of the month you would have no or very little fear left and your confidence with women would have come on by leaps and bounds.

 

I don't do the 20 women thing, I'm a happily married man, but I often chat to random women because I love to chat, especially to women as I really love the way they are different to us. Since I turned 25 I've never been cold shouldered or ignored.

I might chat about wine in the supermarket and swap recommendations. I recently complimented a little cracker on her Louboutin shoes. She was gobsmacked that a guy knew about Christian Louboutin.

 

Modern psychologists have largely debunked 'alpha' ideas, stating, as many have done here, that there is a false dichotomy of alpha/beta and that it is an overly simplistic way to explain the complexities of human relationships and society.

I would rather listen to an accredited scientist who has done verifiable research over someone who wants to sell me some woo evo psych bull that he's just dreamed up about "alphas do this because cave men did blah blah blah." How the fudge does he know what a cave man did?

Edited December 7, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Italicize quotes of copyrighted material, add paragraphs and edit for language

[road]

Modern psychologists have largely debunked 'alpha' ideas, stating, as many have done here, that there is a false dichotomy of alpha/beta and that it is an overly simplistic way to explain the complexities of human relationships and society.

I would rather listen to an accredited scientist who has done verifiable research over someone who wants to sell me some woo evo psych bull that he's just dreamed up about "alphas do this because cave men did blah blah blah." How the fudge does he know what a cave man did?

 

 

 

Shrinks will say anything to avoid admitting they are not alpha and have a million issues of their own. Alpha is not measured by wealth, looks, job, etc. It is about the ability to attract the opposite sex. Alpha's will share many characteristics but those characteristics does not make them alpha.

 

 

Having money is not alpha. TV show Million Dollar something Matchmaker. Every week a rich guy can't get a woman to have a relationship with him.

 

 

Six foot tall men still dating Mary Hand.

 

 

Men can have great jobs still dating Mary Hand's cousin.

 

 

Being alpha means that a man is able to get hot women, end of story.

 

 

Same for women being an alpha she is the one that pick and chose who she gives her favors to.

 

 

Just being a blonde is not going to do it.

 

 

Having DD's alone is not going to do it specially when she is 5'2" and 300 lbs.

 

 

Need a scientist to find out what attractive is? Ridiculous. Hollywood never needed no stinkin' scientists.

 

 

Open one's eyes, wear glasses if needed, and you will see who is alpha. As to the books and websites that will make you alpha. Baloney all they do it get rich on Beta money and tell you about traits that alphas share in common with other alphas. So the Beta man spends his money and makes himself from a 3 to 4 or 4 to a 5. Or a 5 to 6. Yes he improved himself a bit though he did not become an alpha.