Kikies Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 I would like some advice on how to react… My boyfriend of 1,5 years works as an officer in merchant marine. We live 5 hours apart in our country, but for the last 7 months he was away for his work. Before he left we would see each other every other weekend and everything was great. He said he loved me very much and asked me to wait for him to finish with his work and then maybe he could come to live in my city. When he was away, his aunt suddenly died and he was devastated. I told him I would be there for him and we continued to have fb conversations for as long as he was on the ship. He mentioned that when he would return he would have a lot of things to do here, such as things for his work and to comfort his mother for his aunt’s death and especially rest, because he got very tired from work. The thing is, 3 weeks ago he send me a message which was pretty normal, saying he can’t wait to get back as he was extremely tired and then…nothing. I would send him messages for about 2 weeks and got no response so I thought there was some problem with the internet on the ship, as this had happened before. But I then realised that he returned home a week ago and didn’t bother to tell me, so I texted him 3 days ago telling him that I would prefer that he told me he was back and needed some time to put things together, than to ignore me and leave me wondering. I also told him that I am sure he would be ok in a couple of days and that he could call me when he wanted. Didn’t hear from him. It’s been 3 days. I am very understanding about his situation, it’s difficult to be in a ship for 7 months and then have to deal with all the stuff from the “outside” world, but I cannot understand why couldn’t he send me a message explaining that or telling me he wants to break up with me? I decided to let him be for a week and then give him a call. Is that a good thing to do or should I tell him I don’t like his attitude and break up with him? I love him very much and I believe he does too, but maybe he is not able to handle everything right now? Should I wait and no contact him at all? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 I'd normally suggest not tolerating someone who does stuff like this, but it sounds like this is really unusual behaviour for him. Are you able to ask any of his close friends and family about him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kikies Posted December 5, 2016 Author Share Posted December 5, 2016 It's actually very strange. I knew he would be tired and had things to do, but it is weird he doesn't respond. I don't want to involve anyone else, because I believe that might drive him further away, if he finds out. I know I should not tolerate that kind of behavior, but I love him very much. So do you think I should give him a call after a couple of days to chech if he is ok? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 Very strange. I would call him and ask him what's up. I think he is trying to end your relationship, but this is a bit ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 He's ghosting. You have reached out and he hasn't gotten back to you. The ships aren't that isolated. Most can't wait to return to their partners. This is a really harsh way of him breaking up. Im sorry Link to post Share on other sites
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