X wanted second chance

[strug]

She has made next to zero attempt and its been a nightmare still i love her and want to focus on one thing she could do to help prove to me a little bit.

 

trying to move forward with the woman i love

I am FAR from perfect but am doing.my best under nightmarish conditions. I want to fully forgive and forget wrong doings and move on but when i cant even get simple things it makes me feel like all i am is being used.

 

Anyways social media. Facebook i finally got her to add me, well her friends list and her wall has the guy she cheated on me with while we were engaged and left me for. Pictures of them cuddling, posts and stuff while they were together.

 

She did some other stuff as well, but i brought this up. It ended with me being blocked, her guy she cheated on.me remaining.

 

From everything I've heard in such cases contact with the other person is wrong period if one wants to be.forgiven and move on.

 

I want nothing more to forgive and move onto.a.future with the woman i love, but when she cant even do something so simple, it makes.me feel shes picking him over.me still.

 

Please only unbiased opinions on the.matter.

 

What would you do, feel, try?

[bluefeather]

so she cheated on you and then wants a second chance, but then still has pics with the other guy and is still friends with them, and then blocked you from fb?

 

if I am understanding it correctly, that person is not girlfriend material.

 

you also should take a look at yourself and ask why you are wanting a relationship with someone who treats you so badly.

[strug]

Yes pretty much, im willing and wanting to forgive everything.

She may treat me bad but i love her cant help it and just hope some day she wakes up and realizes it.

 

I want to have a future with her and fix stuff, just because someone treats you like gold doesn't make you love them.

 

I love her...but i admit from this and other stuff im well beyond my breaking point. This tbh is trivial compared to the overall picture in our messed up relationship but could be an easy fix

[Haydn]

No.

 

If you want a world of pain and worry, then go for it.

 

Read a few threads here.

[strug]

She was screaming his name i her sleep just now so i woke her up not happy, not screaming but not happy

 

Should i have woke her up? Maybe not i WANT to get over this **** forget it even happened but how can i?

 

We havent even had sex since she did with him.

 

I do NOT want to blame her i just want to move on. Anyways she woke up and became VERY abusive.

 

How on earth can i get her to understand i want to move on and love her but hes on her fb not.me, she screamed his name sexually in her sleep, he was the last one to have sex with her.

 

All i want is to move on with her and love her i am far from perfect, i DO make mistakes but i am trying my BEST under these hellish circumstances.

 

She is.also.an addict who has spent me into such debt i cant pay.my bills, constantly makes promises and doesnt follow through often doesnt even.come home.

 

I just want to move on with her but its impossible to show her the real me under these circumatances

As is what do i do? I had rarely called her names and no longer do no matter what she does to me,.i assume as she calls it. Assuming is all i have when promises are never kept and she treats me like dog **** yet i love her and just want this nightmare to stop, feel she loves me and is with me nobody else

[strug]

No.

 

If you want a world of pain and worry, then go for it.

 

Read a few threads here.

 

I don't want a world of pain, tbats what i have now. Ive already beem destroyed in all ways..i just want to move on with her as i love her

[DarrenB]

She was screaming his name i her sleep just now so i woke her up not happy, not screaming but not happy

 

Should i have woke her up? Maybe not i WANT to get over this **** forget it even happened but how can i?

 

We havent even had sex since she did with him.

 

I do NOT want to blame her i just want to move on. Anyways she woke up and became VERY abusive.

 

How on earth can i get her to understand i want to move on and love her but hes on her fb not.me, she screamed his name sexually in her sleep, he was the last one to have sex with her.

 

All i want is to move on with her and love her i am far from perfect, i DO make mistakes but i am trying my BEST under these hellish circumstances.

 

She is.also.an addict who has spent me into such debt i cant pay.my bills, constantly makes promises and doesnt follow through often doesnt even.come home.

 

I just want to move on with her but its impossible to show her the real me under these circumatances

As is what do i do? I had rarely called her names and no longer do no matter what she does to me,.i assume as she calls it. Assuming is all i have when promises are never kept and she treats me like dog **** yet i love her and just want this nightmare to stop, feel she loves me and is with me nobody else

 

You're over analyzing things you shouldn't even be analyzing and thinking about at all. You're beating yourself up over things she's doing which you should no longer condone anyway.

 

She is not a good nor a compatible partner for you. You may claim to 'love' her but I'm sure she's not the only woman you'll love in your life time.

 

There's no point denying the inevitable here, which is that you two are not suited for each other and that she treats you with no respect nor quality. You maintain a relationship with this girl you're just going to constantly be at conflict and warfare. If that's what you want, let it continue.

 

I do not suggest it though. To make a relationship work it's supposed to be functional from both parties. She is not doing that and her actions state that she will not do so.

 

Walk away.

[bluefeather]

I'm sorry you are going through this, but you are doing it to yourself. My heart goes out to you because I have also allowed others to abuse me while telling myself, "but I love her so much." Look, no matter how much you love her, it will not fix her messed up way of thinking. I have had to struggle with telling myself this so much too with the situations I have put myself into as well.

 

Here is what will most likely happen if you continue on this path - she will continue to be abusive and you will lose more of yourself than you probably already have. By the time she is done with you, you will be broken and alone. You loving her while she hurts you will not prove anything other than the fact that you like being abused.

 

Respect and love yourself and realize that you deserve much more than what this person is capable of giving. And if you really love her, let her go. I say again, you cannot fix her, and trying to contain her in a relationship when she should instead be trying to become a better person on her own is selfish.

 

Good luck to you...

Edited December 7, 2016 by bluefeather

[Sweetfish]

Are you looking for love or are you looking to be enslaved. Because it's her who has control of you.

[breakupthrowaway663]

Ouch. This makes my gut roll.

 

I know you really want her. I truly understand that. She's still all you see since she imprinted herself into your life so much.

 

Try your best to take the horse blinders off. She cheated and posted pictures online with the guy she cheated with? Just ouch.. so much ouch.

 

If you allow yourself to continue forgiving her the pain will continue. She cheated. Ask yourself how you truly feel about that.