Struggling to understand how I meant nothing

[divegrl]

Whatdeww18- This is perfect! Thanks for linking up the blackcat77 story. The true success of her story was not that she reconciled with her ex. Through NC she was able to step into her own power and recognize her strength!

 

"If you're looking for that one person who can change your life, take a look in the mirror".

 

My heart hurts with you. My heart is getting stronger with you. Hugs to you, my friends!

[tenderheart27]

Glad you are taking the messages with a grain of salt. Like everyone says, healing is different for everyone. I tried rushing it and now I'm crying almost every morning... Just let the feelings come and go as they please. But really, do take this time for yourself. You want to be the best you that you can so you can be that amazing and have someone want to love you for your amazing self.

 

It's really tough. People say it gets easier but I just remember how much I wanted to text my ex or do things a month ago and am like wow, I have come a long way. I realized my previous message didn't say the point I meant to say.

 

It's really okay to think about your ex as the ideal partner. I'm sure there are things he could fix, as well as yourself. This is the time for you to fix your mistakes and look to the future with the improved self. Possibly, things will work out that it happens to be with your ex. Possibly, it will be that you move on and find someone else. It's so difficult to think about yourself in the future with all the pain now. I know wholeheartedly. But I've just been reflecting a lot and seeing the stupid things I've done and making sure I get to the root. I think blackcat77 really describes it best and her success story is what all dumpees should really do. I can't describe it well but I get inspired each time I read it, probably have read it about 50 times in the past two weeks.

 

She does all this for herself. She wants to become a better person even though she didn't have that many problems in the relationship.

 

 

hello again,

 

whatdeww18 thank you for this. but i feel like reading it i have made so many mistakes that have damaged both a reunion and my recovery process.

 

Its a strange conflict of false hope and nothingness. Am I too late to save both myself and any hope?

The last I heard was that he had thought about us again and he would think some more. I know this gives him all control. Does this mean he is comparing the two of us to see which option is best?

 

I guess if i had been a little more in control of my emotions he many have chased rather than me waiting for replies and losing sleep.

 

I just dont know how I feel. Maybe the fact that he just left it so open to interpretation, even though deep down I know that I made it way too easy for him to stay where he is. The fact that he has not replied to confirm either or just makes me feel queasy.

[Mittens]

Just because he said he 'would think of you' doesn't mean those thoughts are going to be positive ones.

 

I'm not saying that to be cruel, but reading your story reminds me of when I split up with my ex. We were together just short of a year...I was the one to end the relationship, there were certain aspects that I just wasn't happy with, the main one being that he wouldn't even refer to me as his girlfriend, and spent the year telling me that if I met someone more suitable that lived nearer to me (we were in a LDR) that he'd be fine with me perusing a new relationship. I did exactly that and he then decided that he was in love with me...

 

He wanted us to be 'friends' afterwards...I was fine with that, but he then proceeded to swamp me with texts, emails etc...wanting to discuss our feelings all the time. I was in a new relationship and I just plain wasn't interested in rehashing feelings that for me were dead and buried. I tried being nice, but he wanted constant contact...I ended up disliking him intensely due to his actions and ended up blocking him completely.

 

Leave him alone. He doesn't care about you enough. Concentrate on yourself and your own life!

[tenderheart27]

Just because he said he 'would think of you' doesn't mean those thoughts are going to be positive ones.

 

I'm not saying that to be cruel, but reading your story reminds me of when I split up with my ex. We were together just short of a year...I was the one to end the relationship, there were certain aspects that I just wasn't happy with, the main one being that he wouldn't even refer to me as his girlfriend, and spent the year telling me that if I met someone more suitable that lived nearer to me (we were in a LDR) that he'd be fine with me perusing a new relationship. I did exactly that and he then decided that he was in love with me...

 

He wanted us to be 'friends' afterwards...I was fine with that, but he then proceeded to swamp me with texts, emails etc...wanting to discuss our feelings all the time. I was in a new relationship and I just plain wasn't interested in rehashing feelings that for me were dead and buried. I tried being nice, but he wanted constant contact...I ended up disliking him intensely due to his actions and ended up blocking him completely.

 

Leave him alone. He doesn't care about you enough. Concentrate on yourself and your own life!

 

That is true Mittens, he has mentioned certain things we used to do together and has even gone as far to say he may never be that happy again. (which is such a head messer upper!!) which has probably led me to false hope.

But i should rely on his actions and not his words.

[whatdeww18]

hello again,

 

whatdeww18 thank you for this. but i feel like reading it i have made so many mistakes that have damaged both a reunion and my recovery process.

 

Its a strange conflict of false hope and nothingness. Am I too late to save both myself and any hope?

The last I heard was that he had thought about us again and he would think some more. I know this gives him all control. Does this mean he is comparing the two of us to see which option is best?

 

I guess if i had been a little more in control of my emotions he many have chased rather than me waiting for replies and losing sleep.

 

I just dont know how I feel. Maybe the fact that he just left it so open to interpretation, even though deep down I know that I made it way too easy for him to stay where he is. The fact that he has not replied to confirm either or just makes me feel queasy.

 

Hi Tenderheart!

I'm sure you feel like you have messed things up. I won't lie and say you haven't. Why? Because he may not have come back had you not done what you did. Just learn from this experience that even through all the heartbreak, the only gift that you SHOULD NEED to give to your ex and yourself is No Contact.

 

I think you're still far from understanding the whole point of blackcat77's post. This break up NEEDS to be seen as a step to improve yourself and work on yourself. It's not so you can get back with an ex although this will tremendously help. I want you to start doing what blackcat77 had done and begin the healing process and improving yourself, for you and only you. You're seriously going to drive yourself crazy thinking about all the things he has said and done. I know because that's what I did pretty much until now. I broke contact and pretty much hurt myself more. However, my ex finally got some things off his chest and it showed me that right now there's nothing we can do to get them back in terms of staying in contact. I don't know what clicked but something did and I am determined to never contact him first.

 

I may have messed things up, however, he has said who knows what the future holds? Right now, I don't really mind much because I am going to heal and do things for myself. I can see all the hurtful things he said, whereas before, I was seriously blinded by love to even see that.

 

You know, I thought that if I found the source of the break up, which I still don't entirely know, it's a whole plethora of reasons, it doesn't help. YOU HAVE TO FIND CLOSURE YOURSELF! Maybe what clicked for me is that my ex is still so indecisive and I can't keep banking on that. I'm worth so much more than someone who is indecisive and doesn't want to be at that moment. I've tried to cut him out completely but it only made me feel worse. I'm the type of person who feels more comfortable forgiving, and looking towards the future. If my ex comes back and apologizes for the hurtful things said and that we can make things work, he really wants to try, a possible reconciliation is there. But it will be mostly on my terms because he left.

 

The whole power thing, let it go. Just let him go. Like completely. If you love him, you will want his happiness. Whether that includes you or not. If he comes back, shows that he loves you and wants to make things work, you have already done the hardest part of forgiving and demonstrating that you love him. If he doesn't you've made it that much easier when both of you move on.

 

It's not too late to do anything. Just take a HUGE DEEP BREATH. You're going to be okay and get through this using no contact to focus on yourself and letting go. This is not to get him back. It's hard to really understand all this when you're in that phase where you would do anything to get your ex back. I was luckily only there for about 5 weeks and it died down. Now, I'm just waving the old relationship and ex goodbye. If he comes back, I've got to say hi to the new relationship and working on ourselves because it won't be the old relationship that didn't work for some reason.

 

I don't know what exactly made it click but there will come a point where it's like a switch that you finally realize, pining after him just doesn't do anything. I hope and pray that it comes to you soon. I wish I could give you the answer to how I did it. It did help to vent all of my pain to my friends and they told me these are all natural things that happen in a relationship, communication, jealousy, etc. it's not a unique situation except for the two people involved. You both have some growing to do and even when my friend told me to take a step back and look at it objectively, I couldn't. Maybe it's the aspect of looking towards the future with optimism? I'm really not sure.

Also, don't think about what he is feeling, what he thinks of you, etc. It really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things right now. You have to be in a better place before you can start talking to him again.

 

Like Elsa says, "Let it goooooooooooooo!"

 

Sincerely,

-WhatDEWWWWW

[whatdeww18]

Whatdeww18- This is perfect! Thanks for linking up the blackcat77 story. The true success of her story was not that she reconciled with her ex. Through NC she was able to step into her own power and recognize her strength!

 

"If you're looking for that one person who can change your life, take a look in the mirror".

 

My heart hurts with you. My heart is getting stronger with you. Hugs to you, my friends!

 

Aww thanks divegrl! I really try and to be honest I made mistakes but I think everyone does. I'm a believer and optimist, so I tend to think love forgives and overlooks mistakes. My ex said A LOT of hurtful things in our last conversation, yet I still find myself forgiving the things he said instead of using them to drive hatred towards him to help me move on. It made me feel better for a day and terrible after. So forgiveness is the route for me. Blackcat77 is one of my heroes right now. Like you said, she is a success as she truly let go and was moving on and making her life as amazing as she could. Had her ex not come back, there would have been one lucky man to sweep her off her feet. I want to be there, and I already see so much progress.

 

I've come to realize a lot and how much our thoughts can influence our feelings. The optimism and improved lifestyle I am living, even after almost two months post break up, have made me so much happier as a person. That's not to say I don't get into daily ruts or not shed tears here and there. But I can see myself living as such a happier person and better partner for whoever it is to be in my future.

 

I love that quote! It's very true. And I've thought about being in a dumper's shoes and I would be much more inclined to reconcile with an ex who is happy, improved his or her life, and has ultimately worked on his or her problems. I will get there and if it's not my ex, oh well. The next partner will get all this awesomeness to himself

 

Wishing everyone here a speedy, full recovery. Maybe one of us will have a successful reconciliation to come back and tell too! Maybe not, and that's just as great as long as you have healed!

 

Sincerely,

-WhatDEWWWWW

[tenderheart27]

Thank you for your posts WhatDEWWWW.

 

I find my myself sobbing in the bath this morning. I'm just waiting for that click I suppose. I guess my ex not realising that keeping me in limbo is insensitive shows he is a selfish man and that it should make me angry, but it doesn't.

 

Still no word from him, I guess that communicates enough of his feelings. Silence is powerful. I feel as though I really have gone backwards and it hurts all over again like it happened yesterday. I stay awake all night having our conversation and making jokes that he would love and then my heart hurts a bit more knowing we won't be having them

[whatdeww18]

Thank you for your posts WhatDEWWWW.

 

I find my myself sobbing in the bath this morning. I'm just waiting for that click I suppose. I guess my ex not realising that keeping me in limbo is insensitive shows he is a selfish man and that it should make me angry, but it doesn't.

 

Still no word from him, I guess that communicates enough of his feelings. Silence is powerful. I feel as though I really have gone backwards and it hurts all over again like it happened yesterday. I stay awake all night having our conversation and making jokes that he would love and then my heart hurts a bit more knowing we won't be having them

 

You poor thing Tenderheart! My ex tried to do the same thing... It's a very selfish thing and it's possible they don't realize it because I assume it's what they feel. They tell us these things of the past and that we may work out in the future because they do feel that we are potential partners. However, for whatever reason they don't want be our partners NOW. NOT FAIR!

 

Although this is quite a bit further, I would say you should do what I did. My ex said he would be willing to try in a few months if someone else doesn't come along. Definition of backburner. Same as you. Cut it off. Essentially you two never broke up, he has the feeling that he can go venture out and do his thing and come back to you whenever he'd like. That's not fair at all to you! You deserve him when he wants to be with you all the time.

 

If Sweetfish posts, her words are liquid gold to me at the moment. But he's not showing 100% loyalty and willingness to work things out, according to her words. Let him walk. Tell him that it's not fair to keep you in this grey area, it's either a break up and you'd like your space to heal or you work on things together slowly now. I did this so I could move on and heal from the break up or 100% have the chance of getting back together and knowing I will improve in the mean time. This was what our last talk, and he finally said it, he knows this is a risk and he feels that breaking up is worth the risk. I will assume that will be your ex's answer as well. That really helped me, still took a couple of days to settle in but now healing is kicked into overdrive haha.

 

Wishing you the best,

-WhatDEWWWWW

Edited January 13, 2017 by whatdeww18

[tenderheart27]

Thats probably a good idea. I think he probably doesnt have access to messenger this week as he did tell me he was away and I dont want to sound clingy but the last message from him was sunday. Should i wait?

 

and if i send the message, how best to phrase it?

[whatdeww18]

Thats probably a good idea. I think he probably doesnt have access to messenger this week as he did tell me he was away and I dont want to sound clingy but the last message from him was sunday. Should i wait?

 

and if i send the message, how best to phrase it?

 

Do whatever feels best for you. I wanted to talk to my ex on the phone so we could keep dialogue as there is a lot to be said. I got what his feelings were and he felt stressed to think about this. Sorry? But not my fault that my ex was so wishy washy with the break up. I do empathize with him in that it's not easy to break up but I also have my self-worth that I won't be sitting waiting while he goes out and does his thing while I sit at home pining after him and improving myself. It hurts but you do have to disappear from his life.

 

-WhatDEWWWWW

[Zahara]

Thats probably a good idea. I think he probably doesnt have access to messenger this week as he did tell me he was away and I dont want to sound clingy but the last message from him was sunday. Should i wait?

 

and if i send the message, how best to phrase it?

 

Hun, I feel your pain. I'm sorry you're going through this and finding it difficult to be kind to yourself.

 

Silence is a response. Please try to stay centered in your pain and work through it rather than reach for the drug, because he is your drug. And you need a fix.

 

It's really very simple. If someone is important to you, you will know it because they will be present and they will show you. Stop chasing him. Stop trying to get him to choose you.

 

I know it's hard to let go and find acceptance. But if you trust the process and acknowledge the pain rather than try to escape it, you'll get to the other side. Your suffering is being prolonged only by you, and you alone.

[tenderheart27]

Do whatever feels best for you. I wanted to talk to my ex on the phone so we could keep dialogue as there is a lot to be said. I got what his feelings were and he felt stressed to think about this. Sorry? But not my fault that my ex was so wishy washy with the break up. I do empathize with him in that it's not easy to break up but I also have my self-worth that I won't be sitting waiting while he goes out and does his thing while I sit at home pining after him and improving myself. It hurts but you do have to disappear from his life.

 

-WhatDEWWWWW

 

I would ring him happily but he doesn't have a phone, he just has messenger access. (he never bothered getting a sim card even when we were together) and he doesnt have wifi access currently. So i feel a bit strange just waiting, when its nearly been a week and the last thing he said was 'I will think'.

 

i thought about messaging back saying that, " i know this is a hard decision to make, i respect the outcome...we could hang out and see how it goes"

 

is that stupid? I feel stupid waiting to hear from him because im sure he wont commit. he never commits to anything.

[mightycpa]

I would ring him happily but he doesn't have a phone, he just has messenger access. (he never bothered getting a sim card even when we were together) and he doesnt have wifi access currently. So i feel a bit strange just waiting, when its nearly been a week and the last thing he said was 'I will think'.

 

i thought about messaging back saying that, " i know this is a hard decision to make, i respect the outcome...we could hang out and see how it goes"

 

is that stupid? I feel stupid waiting to hear from him because im sure he wont commit. he never commits to anything.

Yes, it's stupid. You may not remember this, but there was a time in your life when you didn't need this guy. You may not believe this, but there will be a time in your life when you won't need this guy. Right now is the period in between those two times, and what you need to decide first is how long you want this period to last. You can prolong your agony by engaging with him; that would include talking and texting and cyber-stalking and whatever other ways you have of keeping engaged...

 

Or, you can cut the cord now, go through the unavoidable misery and come out on the other end stronger and wiser and ready for your next challenge.

 

You don't need therapy. Almost every human being on the planet goes through this at least once in their lives. It's a rite of passage, part of growing up. It's never easy, why would it be? So feel sad, but stop feeling sorry for yourself. Resolve to get through this, resolve to detach, resolve to be yourself again and you surely will.

[Zahara]

So i feel a bit strange just waiting, when its nearly been a week and the last thing he said was 'I will think'.

 

i thought about messaging back saying that, " i know this is a hard decision to make, i respect the outcome...we could hang out and see how it goes"

 

is that stupid? I feel stupid waiting to hear from him because im sure he wont commit. he never commits to anything.

 

It's not stupid. It's denial.

[tenderheart27]

yes maybe stupid and in denial. I guess that's another definition of 'love'.

 

I just find that a strange thing to leave a conversation on. Maybe even a mean thing and i know a week isn't a long period of time in the long run, but to me it feels like an eternity. We talked about all our issues, and even know our work pressures etc etc and even after that hes said hes even thought about me and him again.

 

I think he will be a coward and either never admit to his feelings. Not that he should actually come back to me, but just to take time out and chill and actually realise what he wants (whether its me, her, or no one)

 

Its not so much that I don't believe I will be fine without him, I have very low confidence anyway, always found it hard to make friends, maybe i'm more worried about losing a friend and I miss him. Not what we did. I just really miss him. Not even the sex or our home, just him really.

 

I will wait, no matter how painful. I will wait until I forget what I'm waiting for. I will cry more and I will fight with myself and I will probably ask for more support and advice.

[divegrl]

If you keep caring about what he thinks, you will always be his prisoner.

[tenderheart27]

If you keep caring about what he thinks, you will always be his prisoner.

 

I think now its just waiting for him to reply, that's the torture.

[tenderheart27]

reading my last post back, i actually realised that i shouldnt be waiting.

My head is sensible and nows he is not coming back. my heart is not.

[whatdeww18]

yes maybe stupid and in denial. I guess that's another definition of 'love'.

 

I just find that a strange thing to leave a conversation on. Maybe even a mean thing and i know a week isn't a long period of time in the long run, but to me it feels like an eternity. We talked about all our issues, and even know our work pressures etc etc and even after that hes said hes even thought about me and him again.

 

I think he will be a coward and either never admit to his feelings. Not that he should actually come back to me, but just to take time out and chill and actually realise what he wants (whether its me, her, or no one)

 

Its not so much that I don't believe I will be fine without him, I have very low confidence anyway, always found it hard to make friends, maybe i'm more worried about losing a friend and I miss him. Not what we did. I just really miss him. Not even the sex or our home, just him really.

 

I will wait, no matter how painful. I will wait until I forget what I'm waiting for. I will cry more and I will fight with myself and I will probably ask for more support and advice.

 

So I used to be that person that heard those cliche sayings and never understand them. "Blinded by love" has a new definition in my book now. Literally my ex strung me along, not sure if he meant to do it or not, but I couldn't see how painful that is for me and unfair. Tenderheart, I really doubt anything anyone says will really get to you. It didn't for me. People and even close friends were telling me to just give that ultimatum, even though they are not out of love. I realize I was put in that situation because he couldn't cut the cord. So I made him. I realize in hindsight I could have done it but when you're pining after your ex, that is not an option.

 

Haha I thought it was strange how my ex left things. Now I look back and was like how did I even manage to accept those terms? I have so much more self-respect than that. You do too.

 

No one here can give you enough advice or words to get you out of this thing. To be quite frank, you are the only one that can get you out of this situation. Additionally, you seem to want to learn the painful way out of all this. I can guess you know that I'm very frustrated with you right now. Especially with that last statement. If I were your friend and there right now, I might even slap you to knock some sense into your head.

 

You do not wait for someone that is not willing to be with you right now! You need to love yourself. I'm going to give you some tough love and a scenario that Sweetfish also put out there. You have a few options when someone decides to leave: 1) wallow in sadness and all your pain and be a mess. 2) You can decide to move on and grow and learn from all this.

 

These are the only options I'd like to provide. Honestly, you're in the first category. Until you can see your own self-worth and stop wallowing and waiting for this guy, you will get nowhere. I'm sorry to sound so harsh with this reply but Tenderheart, you're getting me so frustrated! I wish I could take off those rose-colored glasses for you! Maybe it's not even the glasses but your pain. Like I said, you could have the best person in the world give you advice and help you through this but you're the only person right now that's holding yourself back. You even have a therapist yet you seem no better than a month ago.

 

Again, I'm really sorry to sound so harsh on you. But you're not doing the "it's okay to take one step backwards, and take two steps forwards." You're only taking steps backwards. You're not a failure. You're deeply hurt and not letting yourself take the proper steps to heal.

 

Sorry if this was too harsh but I really do think you need someone to check you, and if you hate me after this, I will take it as long as you start realizing things and healing. I've tried countless times to give you my experiences and be supportive, yet you're continuously wallowing. I think you have to believe in yourself, go out there, and have the confidence to get YOU back, not him, Tenderheart.

 

Sincerely and truly wishing you the best from the bottom of my heart,

-WhatDEWWWWW

[lana-banana]

Gently, you are only in a limbo of your own making. He was clear he didn't want to see you for another heart-to-heart. He didn't want to crush you completely; that's why he suggested being friends, and why he said he would think about maybe talking later instead of saying no outright. He is not interested in seeing you or talking to you again. He has a new girlfriend now, and he's probably told her about every time you've contacted him.

 

I have been on both sides of this. I once wasted Christ knows how long pursuing someone who was very clearly done with me, and I was also the woman that a man left his 4-year relationship for. In the latter case I knew every time his ex hit him up and it was just awkward. He'd show me the message, we'd shake our heads, figure out what to say in response (if anything) and go back to our business. Is that what you want to be to him? An occasional annoyance?

 

Block him, I assure you he won't care. And you can finally get on the road to healing. This journey needs to be about you, not him or anyone else with the power to hurt you. Love yourself deeply and others will too.

[divegrl]

Please try mindfulness meditation. It will help your mind bring acceptance and awareness to your thoughts, feelings and emotions.

[Zahara]

I think now its just waiting for him to reply, that's the torture.

 

You've placed your fate in his hands without having the ability to take it into your own hands, see it for what it is, realize that you deserve better and choose to walk away. But rather wait for him to decide whether he wants to dump you, pick you or use you.

 

You mentioned that he was having an emotional affair with another while with you. Even at this point, you're still choosing to sit there and play second fiddle. Still waiting for him validate you.

 

When you do have enough self-respect to walk away because you choose not to allow someone to keep you in limbo. While you sit there and wait, he's having the time of his life with his girlfriend. Do you actually think he's in this much angst about you? No.

[mightycpa]

reading my last post back, i actually realised that i shouldnt be waiting.

My head is sensible and nows he is not coming back. my heart is not.

There you go! Your head knows better, right? Now it's time to help your heart.

 

Right now, your heart no doubt continues to wait for that reply, despite what your head knows. So what would be helpful to your heart is if you take away the opportunity for him to reply. Block the texts and phone calls. Autorespond to emails with an official sounding block message, and send them to trash automatically. Block whatever social network connections you have. By doing this, your heart will slowly get used to the idea that you'll never receive a reply.

 

Your heart's next move after that will be to wonder if he ever tried, what did he think, did he get disappointed or angry or sad? But as time moves ahead without contact, even your heart will begin to understand that he didn't show up at your door, demanding to end his torture. Your heart will catch on to the truth of the situation, and once it gives up hope, it can grieve and be done with it.

 

The waiting is the hardest part.

[tenderheart27]

the saddest part is i know you are all right. each situation is different, but all your opinions are right.

 

I guess that fact that he still let me in, just before christmas made my recovery go crashing down. He hugged me and didnt let me go. He had that heart to heart with a couple days before christmas, he send me his photo the day he flew to be with his girl friend, he asked if we could still be friends. I've always been so honest to him about how I feel and yes been to available. I feel that he maybe stalled to decide if this new girl is a better choice and evidently she is for him right now.

He used those words saying he may never be that happy again.

He said that it hurts talking to me because he can imagine me saying them the way i do and making him smile.

 

Then he ignores everything and acts like I am nothing.

 

each time he does he stabs me a little bit deeper.

Edited January 13, 2017 by tenderheart27

[Zahara]

the saddest part is i know you are all right. each situation is different, but all your opinions are right.

 

I guess that fact that he still let me in, just before christmas made my recovery go crashing down. He hugged me and didnt let me go. He had that heart to heart with a couple days before christmas, he send me his photo the day he flew to be with his girl friend, he asked if we could still be friends. I've always been so honest to him about how I feel and yes been to available. I feel that he maybe stalled to decide if this new girl is a better choice and evidently she is for him right now.

He used those words saying he may never be that happy again.

He said that it hurts talking to me because he can imagine me saying them the way i do and making him smile.

 

Then he ignores everything and acts like I am nothing.

 

each time he does he stabs me a little bit deeper.

 

He's not stabbing you, Tender. At this point, YOU have chosen to prolong your suffering because you are choosing not to let him go. It is time to take responsibility for where you are at this point. You have the choice to take the knife and put it down.

 

Words versus actions. Focus on his actions and not on his words. Dumpers have a knack of playing both sides, regardless of how it may affect the dumpee, just as long it is self-serving.

 

When someone loves or cares about you, the last thing they do is leave you in a situation that they KNOW is hurting you, but rather they let you go because they are empathetic to the fact that it's selfish and cruel to keep you hanging on.

 

This guy was already having an emotional affair behind your back. Then he reaches out to you behind her back. Why do you think that he would have enough integrity now to do the right thing by you? Even if he came back, would you ever be able to trust someone that handled your heart with such callousness?