Tonofbricks Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Currently going through divorce , in my area it takes a yr. X started an ea in mid march which led her to the ilybnilwu speech.. space ect. Failed attempts (short) to work on "problems" were more to ease guilt on her part I assume. I honestly have them a try because I didn't want this. X pushed for separation in order to pursue this om. Not a lot of turmoil during and has been I guess ok but disruptive for kids as you may expect. My question is this ... I know what I've felt for the past couple of months and have been heavy in self improvement and introspection.. I'll take 50% of the blame for the failure.. no addictions or abuse were involved. X moving into this new relationship so quickly (overlapping) without doing any of the grunt work spell trouble ahead. I'm worried not about them so much as the environment my kids will be in. I was a mess when this all went down ... stack another failed relationship in the mix and it could be a disaster for her... She's unable to support herself s far as a place to live so she's living with parents right now. Om was supposed to support her and does to an extent, but due to his divorce the $ that should have been there just isnt. This was a reason given for leaving as she was tired of struggling financially. Which I provided everything but required long hrs and not much interaction with family. So I guess my question is all the baggage from our marriage was left unaddressed and carried into this "new" relationship ... is its fate already known just a matter of when ? How will my kids deal with a mother who potentially could go off the deep end ? Don't want her back but what if she starts ? Right now I carry no guilt about the ending of our marriage (she had an affair) but if she were to come back I'm not so sure I'd have that anymore... Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 So I guess my question is all the baggage from our marriage was left unaddressed and carried into this "new" relationship ... is its fate already known just a matter of when ? There is no fate but what we make. Maybe they will split up tomorrow, maybe they will live happily ever after. Who knows? It certainly doesn't pay to get yourself worked up into knots about it. It's totally out of your control. Don't want her back but what if she starts ? Right now I carry no guilt about the ending of our marriage (she had an affair) but if she were to come back I'm not so sure I'd have that anymore... Huh? If you don't want her back then you just say "no". Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tonofbricks Posted December 6, 2016 Author Share Posted December 6, 2016 There is no fate but what we make. Maybe they will split up tomorrow, maybe they will live happily ever after. Who knows? It certainly doesn't pay to get yourself worked up into knots about it. It's totally out of your control. Huh? If you don't want her back then you just say "no". Right now the decision to end is out of my control... if she were to reverse and put the ball in my court ... then the decision would be mine .. regardless of what the outcome... along with guilt Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts