JHandy Posted August 5, 2016 Share Posted August 5, 2016 My wife of many years likes Girls. She loves breasts and everything else female. She loves me and has been faithful. She's never "been" with a woman, and doesn't want to. We've watched L-Word and things like it. She loves it. For me, I like it a lot also. We have great sex so there isn't any issues. She's not that much into guys so much though she seems to be very much into me. In a couple months we will be having a king weekend with just us, no kids. I would like to give this special lady a wild weekend. We love watching movies. The weekend will be focused on French food and wine and I'm hoping to give her a complete home spa experience. What movies would you recommend that has a spa or French theme that dances on the lesbian arena? Also what spa like things could I do for her to bring her most pleasure? Many thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted August 5, 2016 Share Posted August 5, 2016 Most lesbian movies I've seen are either these depressing dramas or silly rom-coms, neither of which have much 'good lesbian fun' so to speak, so I think you'll have to look to b movies or porn to light her fire. Spa treatment - well obvs have the spa ppl do their thing but you could also give her some massages of your own. Foot massages, and I'm a big fan of 'anal massage' myself (bscly just analingus but w a massage type vibe as opposed to sex). Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted August 5, 2016 Share Posted August 5, 2016 (edited) Blue is the Warmest Color Boom! Mic drop. Just google it and watch the trailer and you'll see why that was so spot on. The lesbian sex scenes are out of control good too. Believe me. *self high five* Edited August 5, 2016 by Mrin 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JHandy Posted August 6, 2016 Author Share Posted August 6, 2016 Thanks for the spa ideas! What B movies would you suggest? She's not that big into porn, but do you have any suggestions? We have seen some depressing stuff, and it kinda left us wanting more :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author JHandy Posted August 6, 2016 Author Share Posted August 6, 2016 We tried seeing Blue is the Warmest Color but it had subtitles. Is there an English dubbed version? Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 We tried seeing Blue is the Warmest Color but it had subtitles. Is there an English dubbed version? Not that I know of. But that is sort of the charm you know? Whole French movie thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JHandy Posted August 6, 2016 Author Share Posted August 6, 2016 Agreed! I can see that. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 Bound is a pretty good lezzie movie. A lezzie friend showed it to me. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 I don't really have any B movie suggestions bc I don't watch them but they'd likely be titled things like "Melanie's Affair" and stuff like that - throw the subtext right out and smack you in the face. There are quite a few high end lesbian porn production companies around now that make 'dramas' surrounding the porn but they nonetheless focus on the porn ultimately. Check out sites like Girlsway ....that sorta thing might be for you. Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 Second the Bound vote. Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 there are a TON of lesbian movies on Netflix for streaming. You can probably choose 10 in a couple minutes there! But if she is so into lesbian porn....she must be thinking about actual physical sex with women too. Fantasizing about it. I would support her, making sure she knows it is ok with me if she wants to experiment with other women. maybe discuss with her which of her girl friends she might want to play with. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 I think I remember 'Bound' ....90s movie w Gina Gershon? I found that a bit predictably and gallingly butch tbh. Not all women who love women pair up w the "I'm the man, you're the woman" dynamic going on. (Assumes the need for a man figure even in man-free relationships which seems like pandering to a male audience in a lesbian movie. Wonder why that is. ) Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 I think I remember 'Bound' ....90s movie w Gina Gershon? I found that a bit predictably and gallingly butch tbh. Not all women who love women pair up w the "I'm the man, you're the woman" dynamic going on. (Assumes the need for a man figure even in man-free relationships which seems like pandering to a male audience in a lesbian movie. Wonder why that is. ) Lol yeah but if it didn't I wouldn't remember it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JHandy Posted December 6, 2016 Author Share Posted December 6, 2016 My wife is an awesome person who I adore with everything I have. She's perfect in every way. I cannot imagine my life without her. The thing is, she's into women in a big way. As far as she's said, she's never even so much as kissed another woman. But she does get turned on with lesbian related media (TV, movies, etc.) and she likes checking out the babes. I've known this practically since I've known her. When we would go out on dates, she would really check out the babes. At first, I'd just be amused by it all. It was then and still is very cool. She was more obvious the more we drank. I have to admit, it's a thing I find very attractive about her. The coolest thing is that she and I have practically the same taste Though she says I turn her on, and maybe I do in some ways, admittedly, I'm no catch, though I am working on it . I'm a simple country guy basically raised traditionally though not particularly religious. She's more of a city-girl sophisticated professional. She likes it when my body responds to her, but she doesn't seem as much into me physically as I would like. But don't get me wrong, our bedroom life is superb never the less. My question is how can I help her open up about her attractions? We've talked about it some but I fear talking about it too much. Like I said, I cannot imagine my life without her, but I fear curiosity could kill the cat so to speak. If the desire is pent up for too long, when does it break? I think the more we are open to her attraction, the more we can enjoy life from here on without lent up desires growing. She doesn't like talking about it and in the past she tries to hide it, no matter how adorable I say she is and how much I am acceptable if it. Just by the talking we've done, she has opened up a little over time, and she does admit to it at these times. And in a few of these times we have even done some satisfying fantasy play with it. But then after a few weeks, she kinda closes up and starts denying it and goes into trying to hiding it again, even though she still exhibits the attraction in a big way at these times. Both of us truly believes in monogamy and neither wants other people in our marriage. She is somewhat religious and comes from a very religious family and has a somewhat judgmental mother. What I fear is that at times she develops crushes on women at work or elsewhere that she later becomes ashamed of. I don't know . . . It's the way she talks about them that makes me wonder. I've never inquired but I wonder if she kind of stuffs it all in a box to focus on our marriage or whatever. The second question is if we can be more open, how can we have a more fulfilling life together? I'm somewhat fulfilled as I find the whole thing attractive but would love to share our lives together more fully. If she feels she needs to hide this part of her, she's not getting the same thing I am out of our marriage. What can I do to help her enjoy this part of her with me without involving other people? What can we do together that gives her this part of her life without fear and shame? She has no desire to experiment or the like - no threesomes or the like. What ever is done, both of us feels it has to be shared between us. Just looking for ideas on breaking through this barrier. Any help would be very appreciated. Thank you in advanced! Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Take it from someone who's been there - this is a slippery slope. For her, if she's able to let loose and chase her desires she might not be able to stop. For you, the 'hotness' of it could quickly be replaced by feelings of inadequacy etc. when you realize it isn't just a fun but silly little side trip and she doesn't jump right back in your arms and starts pining for women all the time. So I don't know that you (or more importantly her) can have your cake and eat it too here, at least without risk of blowing up the existing order. It's a tough spot bc encouraging her to explore it as a fantasy will just make the want more achy and get worse, so that's not exactly a great outcome either. (A woman w unsatisfied desires is not a force to be trifled with.) At the same time I always feel like it's a shame to suppress a woman's sexuality in any way, just bc it's such an amazing thing when unleashed and nurtured and allowed to flourish. Unfortunately doing that doesn't always or often mesh w current social norms and typical relationship values. So I don't know what to tell you ....I'd never encourage anyone to keep anyone else down, but at the same time you could be unleashing the sex demon and destroying yourself in the process if she actually pops out of that convenient marriage and sexuality box. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JHandy Posted December 6, 2016 Author Share Posted December 6, 2016 (edited) Do you think she's keeping these things contained for that reason? The fact is, the inadequacy issue has already raised its head. One day, I was on the side of maintaining those "social norms" but after meeting my wife, I've seen the need and benefit of chucking them. I was in a dead marriage before. When we divorced, I contemplated my errors and mistakes and vowed to never go down those paths again. My current wife has made it possible for me to see the way through the mess to change the way I've lived. She's a real joy to be with. We have kids and she's an amazing mom. But in this one area, she's been awesome for me, but I never feel I can reciprocate. Everywhere I've needed to change, I've truly become a better person, man and husband. I think at least. Our bedroom life is great and I think it's great for her too, but I can't stop seeing that longing she has. I agree that releasing that longing could be releasing a demon like thing. But as each day passes that potential demon gets more powerful. It's just a theory, but if we can play with it at the fantasy level or do other things, maybe that strength would diminish. I too hate the idea she and I keep her down. We have a great marriage, so why add this potential problem? But I still see the longing. I would love for her to have her cake and eat it too. I already have that with her in my life. Edited December 6, 2016 by JHandy Mistakenly pressed the post button. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizabigs Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Women and men both have one thing in common and I will tell you this with no sexual preference for women. I am straight and never would consider sleeping with a women. Women and men appreciate beautiful women. Some take it a little to far though and it get's to their head and they fail to realize how many people are actually on this planet. These days, looks play an important part. I lost my looks. I was sick. I aged a little and I can tell you that to be beautiful is a blessing and a gift! It is natural sometimes as people to take that and let it go wild in your head with that. I had a neighbor over for coffee before she went to Europe and she spoke to me about her beautiful model friend. She showed me a picture and we were both like "OH MY SHE is so lucky". I also know of another women, she lives here in my town and she was going through some challenges and felt it was appealing to like women so she invited her boyfriend into a scenario and he cheated on her. I tell her this .. It may or may not be relevant.. I said take the break and leave it. Tell him you need sometime on your own and let him go do what he has to do. I told her to focus on herself for a little while and return to the situation stronger because this may be that she let a guy run wild without experience or the proper growth to have handled it .. I am also jealous of a former ex so when he writes about his new girlfriend, it doesn't sit right! He should just stop talking Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 She's more of a city-girl sophisticated professional. She likes it when my body responds to her, but she doesn't seem as much into me physically as I would like. But don't get me wrong, our bedroom life is superb never the less.[/Quote] You are opening a Pandora's box. Once that bell has been rung, it can't be un-rung. Are you prepared to share her with another woman? The reality is that if she isn't into you as physically as you'd like, the likelihood of that changing after exploring and catching the bug is nil. In fact, you may find that she wrestles with finding women more attractive and that won't be easy for either of you. My question is how can I help her open up about her attractions? We've talked about it some but I fear talking about it too much. Like I said, I cannot imagine my life without her, but I fear curiosity could kill the cat so to speak. If the desire is pent up for too long, when does it break? I think the more we are open to her attraction, the more we can enjoy life from here on without lent up desires growing. She doesn't like talking about it and in the past she tries to hide it, no matter how adorable I say she is and how much I am acceptable if it.[/Quote] There is a reason she is tamping down her inner desire. I suspect it is bc of social norms and religious upbringing. Both of us truly believes in monogamy and neither wants other people in our marriage. She is somewhat religious and comes from a very religious family and has a somewhat judgmental mother.[/Quote] If you both decided to step onto this shaky limb and explore an alternative lifestyle, be prepared for major backlashing if/when the day comes that others, like her mother, find out. Being ostracized can send her down a rabbit hole of depression where she'll have to dig and claw to find her way out and that is no easy task. Even when she thinks she has found her footing or takes on the mindset of "eff it," there will be backsliding to contend with... Worse yet is discovering during her darkest hour, she has limited support, so heed the words of caution you are receiving. What can I do to help her enjoy this part of her with me without involving other people? What can we do together that gives her this part of her life without fear and shame? She has no desire to experiment or the like - no threesomes or the like. What ever is done, both of us feels it has to be shared between us. Idk how you can explore her desire w/o involving other ppl. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JHandy Posted December 6, 2016 Author Share Posted December 6, 2016 If I/we don't do anything, what do I do? It's like the elephant in the room in a way. Since we've only done light fantasy and some TV shows and movies, do we stop? Will the longing stop for her? What do you think she wants from me in this area? I'm just overwhelmingly clueless and uncertain at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 (edited) She may have absolutely no desire to act on her attraction. I notice beautiful women and make occasional comments to my boyfriend. I don't mind watching lesbian porn. I think it's common for both men and women to be turned on by lesbian porn, more common than gay porn. But, I have absolutely no desire to be with a woman. I'm very attracted to my boyfriend and I don't want anything or anyone but him. Seriously, you could really be making a mountain out of a molehill. Unless she comes to you and tells you that she wants to act on her attraction/feelings, I don't know that you have any reason to be concerned. Edited December 6, 2016 by BaileyB 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JHandy Posted December 6, 2016 Author Share Posted December 6, 2016 That's what she has essentially said. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 (edited) So, believe her. That's all you can do... Have fun together. Be open and explore your fantasies together. But, don't make a problem where none exists. It's very possible for a woman to appreciate another beautiful woman, be open to exploring sexual fantasy, but still be very attracted and committed to a man. Lots of women have a fantasy of sleeping with a powerful man who takes control in the bedroom... It doesn't necessarily mean that we want to be bound and gagged and have rough sex with the first stranger we meet on the street. It's just fantasy... Edited December 6, 2016 by BaileyB 3 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Do you think she's keeping these things contained for that reason? Could be. It's always harder to stop once you've taken the first step. I agree that releasing that longing could be releasing a demon like thing. But as each day passes that potential demon gets more powerful. It's just a theory, but if we can play with it at the fantasy level or do other things, maybe that strength would diminish. Maybe ....depends a lot of who's in control - her intellect or her sex. I can tell you this - a woman's desire isn't easily put off. I too hate the idea she and I keep her down. We have a great marriage, so why add this potential problem? But I still see the longing. I would love for her to have her cake and eat it too. I already have that with her in my life. I agree that if she's not making this a problem, then you shouldn't. You won't control it anyway - she'll either cave or she won't, and in the end it'll have been her personal struggle and not yours regardless. About all you can do is offer her the constant support and acceptance she deserves from you as your wife. If she wants options, she'll bring them to the table. Some things you just can't 'fix' and you have to know your limits. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JHandy Posted December 6, 2016 Author Share Posted December 6, 2016 Cool! Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
lucy_in_disguise Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 It sounds like you're much more concerned about this than she is. There are several risks in bringing this up. First, like other posters have mentioned, you risk feeding a desire that you can't satisfy. Second, she may find your preoccupation with this aspect of her sexuality concerning or annoying. I know I would be peeved if my partner kept going back to some of my private fantasies despite no evidence that I wanted to engage them any further. Everyone experiences attractions and fantasies about people other than their partner. I don't think the lesbian aspect is all that relevant, from that perspective. Most of these fantasies are are best left unexplored, imo. If you're happy with your sex life and marriage and your wife hasn't expressed an intent to sleep with other people- let this go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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