I wonder what the most likely meaning for this response it.

[kliljoy27]

I can understand why you might be feeling a bit defeated at this point, but try not to let it show in your message. You want to make her feel excited about going out, not tense and awkward.

 

Do you know if she is into anything is particular, like bowling? That might be another option. Something that you will both enjoy.

 

Honestly, I don't know her well enough to know what we would both enjoy. (She kinda does make it a point to tease me about EMT stuff. But that doesn't apply here) Thats kinda why I thought of going skating. It's something that is kinda romantic in a way, and can be enjoyable as long as you are with someone you know. Regardless if you can actually skate. But it is still a distance. Like an hour by train.

 

And I still feel a bit funny about complimenting her when I try again. Seems a bit much for us. But I guess in this situation it is fine, as long as its a reasonable compliment

Edited January 13, 2017 by kliljoy27

[kliljoy27]

Just adding some of the stupid things that she does in general towards me.

 

Laughs at my not-so-funny, slightly teasing jokes. Then sorta teases me in response

 

Locks eyes from a distance

 

Never texts first, but has no issues talking for hours on end

 

When we first met and had semi similar schedules see would show up near me in an otherwise empty room/building.

[normal person]

Hmm.. Time to think of a new place then. My original idea was take her Ice Skating in Central Park then for a nice dinner later. But that's more of a Christmas time thing.

 

Thats kinda why I thought of going skating. It's something that is kinda romantic in a way, and can be enjoyable as long as you are with someone you know. Regardless if you can actually skate. But it is still a distance. Like an hour by train.

 

Here's why I'd advise against this:

 

- It's an hour away, so if you're taking the train and not the subway, that's a ~$20 round trip for her. Even if you're taking the subway, a 2 hour round trip is a lot of time to ask someone to commit. Skate rental and admission, another $15, probably.

 

- It's going to be really, really cold and it's not going to be enjoyable after 20-30 minutes, especially if she can't skate.

 

- Skating is not really conducive to talking, which is a much better bonding exercise. It's kind of weird to skate around with someone you don't know that well and not have an engaging, informative conversation.

 

Conclusion: Just take her to a hip restaurant somewhere close to where you both live and work. Don't inconvenience her. Sure, she might like skating, but that's a big gamble to take when you could still just go the easier route, take her for a normal dinner somewhere and have better results.

 

 

Honestly, I don't know her well enough to know what we would both enjoy.

 

Then definitely don't make her travel an hour to go skating.

 

 

(She kinda does make it a point to tease me about EMT stuff. But that doesn't apply here) Thats kinda why I thought of going skating. It's something that is kinda romantic in a way, and can be enjoyable as long as you are with someone you know. Regardless if you can actually skate. But it is still a distance. Like an hour by train.

 

And I still feel a bit funny about complimenting her when I try again. Seems a bit much for us. But I guess in this situation it is fine, as long as its a reasonable compliment

 

Just adding some of the stupid things that she does in general towards me.

 

Laughs at my not-so-funny, slightly teasing jokes. Then sorta teases me in response

 

Locks eyes from a distance

 

Never texts first, but has no issues talking for hours on end

 

When we first met and had semi similar schedules see would show up near me in an otherwise empty room/building.

 

 

 

You need to stop overthinking and overanalyzing this. I know it's natural at your age, but I don't know if it's going to be helpful for you. Speaking from experience, I think the best course of action is the one I described earlier. Don't put too much thought into it. Just tell her you like and ask if she wants to go somewhere cool, but close and convenient -- nice and simple. That's seriously all you need to do. Low pressure compliment and suggestion for low pressure date. That's it. Don't overthink it any more than that, you'll be doing more harm than good.

 

If you're wondering when to do it, I'd suggest at a bar when you guys and your coworkers are out. Get a drink or two in and wait for a moment when she's talking to you alone. Keep it simple and nonchalant.

 

Best of luck.

[kliljoy27]

Here's why I'd advise against this:

 

- It's an hour away, so if you're taking the train and not the subway, that's a ~$20 round trip for her. Even if you're taking the subway, a 2 hour round trip is a lot of time to ask someone to commit. Skate rental and admission, another $15, probably.

 

- It's going to be really, really cold and it's not going to be enjoyable after 20-30 minutes, especially if she can't skate.

 

- Skating is not really conducive to talking, which is a much better bonding exercise. It's kind of weird to skate around with someone you don't know that well and not have an engaging, informative conversation.

 

Conclusion: Just take her to a hip restaurant somewhere close to where you both live and work. Don't inconvenience her. Sure, she might like skating, but that's a big gamble to take when you could still just go the easier route, take her for a normal dinner somewhere and have better results.

 

I was planning to meet her by her place, and head in from where she live, and I would have covered the fare for the train, plus would have just used uber to get there. Besides, we would have gone for a nice dinner after when we would be able to talk

 

 

 

You need to stop overthinking and overanalyzing this. I know it's natural at your age, but I don't know if it's going to be helpful for you. Speaking from experience, I think the best course of action is the one I described earlier. Don't put too much thought into it. Just tell her you like and ask if she wants to go somewhere cool, but close and convenient -- nice and simple. That's seriously all you need to do. Low pressure compliment and suggestion for low pressure date. That's it. Don't overthink it any more than that, you'll be doing more harm than good.

 

I guess I am over thinking this. And about taking her somewhere, I will really need to think of a good place that is no more than like 30 minutes from where she lives.

 

If you're wondering when to do it, I'd suggest at a bar when you guys and your coworkers are out. Get a drink or two in and wait for a moment when she's talking to you alone. Keep it simple and nonchalant.

 

Best of luck.

Eh, we don't see each other in person any more, so what ever I say will be over text. And still, Bars are outta the question as I am still 20.

[kliljoy27]

So, I think I got an idea for what I wanna do.

 

I'll message her friday asking how her EMT Certification went, and then, assuming all went well, I'll say something about how I want to take her out to celebrate. I think that is definitely implied to be a date?

 

I have a place in mind, its more of a Modern Japanese restaurant thats sorta localish. ~20-30 minutes from her.

[kliljoy27]

So, it looks like it is completely dead now.

 

You know that she's been trying to get me to become an EMT like she is, right? Well, I went to text her saying that I finally began the process, as I thought that she would be glad to hear that. But she hasn't responded at all and its been 3 day.

 

So I could potentially send "Hey, I just wanted to check in and make sure that everything is all right"

 

Or I can just come clean with her about how I feel just to get it off my chest. Or something else EMT related?

 

Dunno, I am mostly concerned with our friendship, if you can call it that?

[Cookiesandough]

Not enough info to know what she meant, but 100% certain this post means you give too much thought to trivial comments.

[kliljoy27]

Not enough info to know what she meant, but 100% certain this post means you give too much thought to trivial comments.

 

This last thing wasn't based on trivial comments at all. It was based on her lack of response. If you are refering to the EMT stuff, that is more of an obvious thing. Almost everyone who saw her comments would agree that she was motivating me to become one, like she is

[kliljoy27]

So, I was somewhat right in thinking that something was wrong with her.

 

 

My friend didn't respond to my text early in the week. So I messaged her "Hey, I just wanted to check in and make sure that everything is all right" she responded a few hours later with "I'm good, we had a rough call the other day" and "It was a call for a suicide, it was kind of rough"

 

I really couldn't say much to that, so I just said "Damn. I really can't say much beyond that I'll be here if you need to talk to someone"

 

I was gonna come clean with how I feel for her, but it didn't seem like it would be appropriate give the messages

[kliljoy27]

I may have figured it out?

 

Honestly, it makes sense. I am thinking that she has already decided that she is interested but is just not ready for anything yet, so she's just buying time until she is

 

Makes sense with her saying that she's not looking for anything with anybody right now, and that she always showed signs of interest. And put up with my stupid **** the even though we are not close at all

 

I only just thought of this because a friend of mine is dealing with another girl who behaves similarly to this one. And she essentially told him that.

[CaliforniaGirl]

You didn't officially ask for a specific date. You vaguely said it would be fun to meet up over break and she vaguely answered you. So ask her for an actual date/day/time and see what she says. Then you'll know.

[kliljoy27]

You didn't officially ask for a specific date. You vaguely said it would be fun to meet up over break and she vaguely answered you. So ask her for an actual date/day/time and see what she says. Then you'll know.

 

Just saw this message. But my current assumption given how she acts I'd. That she's nervous or too busy. So I was planning on texting her and become a little closer with her and then from there I'll ask to meet up on a specific date. Maybe to get coffee down on the boardwalk?

[normal person]

I may have figured it out?

 

Honestly, it makes sense. I am thinking that she has already decided that she is interested but is just not ready for anything yet, so she's just buying time until she is

 

This is just an assumption, not necessarily the truth.

 

Makes sense with her saying that she's not looking for anything with anybody right now, and that she always showed signs of interest.

 

If she's not looking for anything with anybody, why do you think you'll be any different?

 

And put up with my stupid **** the even though we are not close at all

 

Maybe it's because you work together and it'd be rude not to. Not necessarily because she likes you.

 

I only just thought of this because a friend of mine is dealing with another girl who behaves similarly to this one. And she essentially told him that.

 

Every situation is different. You're making a lot of assumptions.

 

Just saw this message. But my current assumption given how she acts I'd. That she's nervous or too busy.

 

This is just your assumption. You don't really know the reason. You're idealizing the situation in your head. All you know is that she's not jumping at the opportunity to go out with you. And even if you are right -- if she's too nervous, then why even bother? And if she's too busy, you can't go out with her anyways.

 

Has this girl given any demonstrable interest towards you? She ignores your message, she never gives you firm commitments to hang out, etc. If someone wants to hang out with you, they will make time for it. This girl doesn't seem like she is.

 

So I was planning on texting her and become a little closer with her and then from there I'll ask to meet up on a specific date.

 

Didn't you say she was "too busy?" She's not reciprocating your efforts and she seems pretty indifferent to them all, correct? Don't you think that's a clue?

 

Honestly, the process not be this hard or time consuming. Either she likes you or she doesn't, you tell her you like her, and she agrees to go out with you, or she doesn't. The end. You could have your answer in 2 minutes if you wanted, and here you are 4 months later still pondering. Most women don't have patience for this kind of stuff.

 

Maybe to get coffee down on the boardwalk?

 

All this ambiguity. If you think she likes you (and I'm not saying she does), I'd be very careful not to half ass it. I wouldn't text her banal pleasantries for a month and then see if she wants coffee. I would just tell her I liked her and see if she wanted to go to a normal, convenient, cool place for dinner. If you can't pull the trigger or can't do things without ambiguity, she's apt to think you aren't assertive or decisive, therefore not confident, therefore not attractive.

 

You're overcomplicating things.

 

Does she like you?

--- If she responds positively to you and your advances, it's possible

--- If she seems indifferent to you and your advances, probably not

 

If so, take action, be assertive, tell her you like her and ask her if she wants to do something easy and normal. Don't text her trivialities for a month and then for some reason see if she wants coffee. Don't try and save face. Take real action.

 

If you're so convinced that she's showing you signs of interest, why not just act on it? If you're concerned that she's busy, then you can't go out with her, so move on. I don't see what the problem is.