How attractive was the OM/OW?

[Hello Genius]

Funny, hello genius. I was always chased by the artistic, creative, skinny guys, and I went for the athletes. And I married the athlete. And he cheated. The wiry, skinny guy? Retired wealthy at 44 lol. To be fair, I've only been in love once in my life, and it's my husband, and I don't regret any of that.

 

My daughter brought home her first boyfriend, they're in high school, 16. And he's exactly what I would not have dated at that age. He sweet and lerpy and adores her, and is so nerdy polite to us all, it's too stinking cute. There's not a cool bone in him, and I'm so glad she didn't bring home the big jock. Because I was the girl who did. I was not the preppy jock, I was the punk artist, ripping my clothes, chopping my hair, into alternative things and followed bands. And I married the sports' star. Life is very funny. Especially watching high school again thru your kids.

 

 

I think the jocks went for you and me because they found creative types intriguing and different then the usual. Just as I wanted to experiment against type. When all was said and done I couldn't handle the excess testosterone. Lol.

[DKT3]

It's a toad. A very important distinction because frogs are too cute and I've heard they turn into Princes.

 

Obi Wan may seem like an odd choice however my husband when he has a beard actually does look like that.

 

Sadly, I do not look like scarlet johansson.

 

Frogs are ugly, except for the really colorful but poisonous ones. Take away that face and amazing body and Scarlett is meh...oh wait

[LargoLagg]

It took me a while to find this:

 

Sonnet 130

 

My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun;

Coral is far more red than her lips’ red;

If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;

If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.

I have seen roses damasked, red and white,

But no such roses see I in her cheeks;

And in some perfumes is there more delight

Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.

I love to hear her speak, yet well I know

That music hath a far more pleasing sound;

I grant I never saw a goddess go;

My mistress when she walks treads on the ground.

And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare

As any she belied with false compare.

 

-- Wm. Shakespeare

[cocorico]

If "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery", then the XBW must have thought I was amazing, since she tried to look like me after seeing me.

[wmacbride]

It took me a while to find this:

 

Sonnet 130

 

My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun;

Coral is far more red than her lips’ red;

If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;

If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.

I have seen roses damasked, red and white,

But no such roses see I in her cheeks;

And in some perfumes is there more delight

Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.

I love to hear her speak, yet well I know

That music hath a far more pleasing sound;

I grant I never saw a goddess go;

My mistress when she walks treads on the ground.

And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare

As any she belied with false compare.

 

-- Wm. Shakespeare

 

um,that's not not a very flattering picture the bard painted there is it? He's basically saying the mistress is ugly, smells bad,is loud with an annoying voice but he loves her anyway?

 

that's really mean.

[OneLov]

that's really mean.

 

It's satire.

[LargoLagg]

um,that's not not a very flattering picture the bard painted there is it? He's basically saying the mistress is ugly, smells bad,is loud with an annoying voice but he loves her anyway?

 

that's really mean.

well, we ugly, stinky, loud and annoying people need love too you know!

 

OneLov got it right.

[wmacbride]

It's satire.

 

I know that

[freengreen]

For what it's worth, the OM with whom I had an EA with online is likely not as attractive as my husband. I say likely because I never met him face-to-face. But it wasn't about looks. It was about how he made me feel and his words. Each person who decides to stray has different reasons for doing so and they will likely influence whether or not the physical attributes of the AP factor into it at all.

Sooo ditto

 

My EA partner was not bad looking. But the truth is what you said. Its not about the looks,its the words - how they make you feel.

 

As much as its my fault to dress up as a doll... he abused the play time.

[sandylee1]

Interesting.

yet she was attractive enough to start a relationship with her, marry her, have sex with her, have children with her, and continue to stay with her.

 

^^^^Very true. My thoughts exactly.

 

A relationship where the BW originally had an affair and where he was the OM. Yet now he says WTF when he sees her pics.? Mmmmmm.yeah right.

[Lady2163]

I would say XMM was not as attractive as I am - maybe. but for a man over 50 and in his 60s when we stopped, he had an awesome body. Probably the best physique of any man I'd ever been with - and I was in the military.

 

I thought he was very attractive.

 

Comparing his wife to me as the OW. I'm 6 years younger than she is. I've also been single a long time, have worked great jobs for 13 years and never had kids (so limited stress) and have been slow to turn grey. BUT, I'm a smoker. I don't look 50, but I don't look 40. I looked better and younger than my classmates at my 30th reunion.

 

Smoking seems to be the kiss of doom on here. Geez, I've always practiced good skin care and mouth care. I'm pretty light skinned, so I don't do a lot of sun.

 

So his BW had more wrinkles than I do. She also had worse teeth than I do. She also had kind of a....facial abnormality. Think something along the lines of an oversized nose, huge mole or protruding chin.

 

Her hair was longer than mine and a nicer color - but she spent a lot of money to achieve that color and I've been too vain to color or highlight mine.

 

She has a nicer physique than I do. She works out a lot. However, I am a LOT stronger physically than she is (that's according to him). So, I am obese, an XL woman, but not an XXL.

 

I'd say when we both dress up or are casually dressy, our sense of style is about equally complimentary. BUT, I worked from home for the last several years and just recently retired. It's pretty tough to pry me out of pajama pants or shorts. Changing into sweatpants or yoga pants is now a step up for me.

 

This wasn't asked, but personality and tempermant wise we both had good things to offer. I would almost say her personality is better because she is the marrying, nurturing kind. I'm more the fiercely loyal, self sufficient/independent, problem solving type of person. She is the type to nag and I'm the type if a man of mine didn't fix the widget after the third time I asked or told him to, I'm going to call someone to do it and let him know he paid for it.

 

I think if she had found out about us she would have only seen me as the "fat" girl. I'm okay with that.

[wmacbride]

No matter how attractive someone is, if their inside is ugly, then it will eventually translate to the outside.

[sandylee1]

No matter how attractive someone is, if their inside is ugly, then it will eventually translate to the outside.

 

You have a point there.

 

But attraction is really subjective. In many cases the WS is attracted to how the AP makes them feel, not really their outward look.

[cocorico]

^^^^Very true. My thoughts exactly.

 

A relationship where the BW originally had an affair and where he was the OM. Yet now he says WTF when he sees her pics.? Mmmmmm.yeah right.

 

You never look back on photos of people you dated as a kid, and go WTF?

 

He was a kid, she was an older woman who clearly very damaged, and he thought he could fix her, in that naive adolescent KISA way.

 

Being able to look back at past mistakes and recognise them as mistakes shows growth and learning. Dying in a ditch to deny to yourself that something was a bad mistake shows the opposite. It may have taken him a long time, and good counselling, to dig his way out of his adolescent mistake, but we're all really really pleased that he was able to.