Christian woman in love with church worker

[Samanthajay84]

Wait wait wait. This has happened before? lots of times? I thought you said your H was the kindest person you've ever met. Totally confused with your story here.

 

He is. He used to be. I'm confused myself. This isn't like him but yet has been lately and talking makes it worse

[adna89]

So Jeff and I just had this crazy fight over absolutely nothing. The kids were playing with a puzzle and wanted to see a picture of the completed image to get an idea of what to do. So I remember my husband had a picture of it in his phone. We accidentally threw the box out. So Jeff said just google it. I told him but why google it when we have a pic in your phone? Then he totally blew up worse then ever before yelling at me saying that I'll do anything to not have to listen to him.

 

I don't even know how to respond. I'm freaking out. I feel like he went bonkers. I feel like running out of the house but I literally have nowhere to go. It's late and snowing here. I'm crying as I type this. This is what happens. We have a good few days and then something like this happens. I didn't say anything bad. I don't know what to do.

 

This makes me wonder,does he have secrets himself? to get like this,when you want the kids to see his phone...maybe he is not faithful himself?

[BuddyX]

Yeah, he got some nudes on his phone. Or at the very least some shady websites/contacts

[Samanthajay84]

That never even occurred to me. That could possibly be it.

 

I honestly feel like my marriage might be over. The good isn't enough to over power the bad. I'm trying. No one can say I'm not.

 

I thought we had a breakthrough. If I had somewhere to go for the night I probably would. I feel worse than ever before.

 

Really need a word or a touch from God right now. I need him now more than ever.

[BuddyX]

God will be there no matter what. What you need is tangible evidence. Because if you go through with this, you need a tangible reason to pull the plug. Up to this point, on surface, you're leaving because you have the hots for a MM.

[QuietDan]

It also sounds like he feels like you are second guessing him on everything including the little decisions.

Which many men interpret as not having respect for them.

It sounds like he is really struggling with all of the situational stressors that you two are facing. He is definitely over reacting. Appears to be hypersensitive.

 

It is a common struggle in many marriages. Especially marriages that are facing a lot of challenges and stressors like you two are having to deal with.

 

There are a lot of good Christian based web sites on how to identify and work through these type of issues that are in a marriage.

Is there any type of marriage counselling that you two can get involved with through your church? Many churches also have networks for marriage counseling so that you do not have to work with someone inside your local church that might be awkward. They might be able to find and recommend a good Christian based marriage counsellor that is close by, but affiliated with a different church.

I think your husband really need to find an older Christian Male Mentor.

Preferable one who has also faced a lot of challenges through the course of his life.

 

Good News, there is a lot of help available.

One person can change the course of a marriage.

The movie "Fireproof" might be helpful.

There are some good Christian resources out there.

You are in a very tough situation. Try to find some outside help.

It is sometime very challenging to work through these problems.

Often an outside experienced view point is needed to help work through these things.

So many things might be going on that you are not able to fully capture or describe in a complete or accurate fashion with these on line posts. In addition, most people are a bit blind to some of the issues and problems that they are bringing into the situation to make things worst. Tone of voice, body language, personal filters, busy thinking about there next response instead of listening to what is being said. There are so many ways arguments are hard to accurately capture and convey. Almost every one will feel like they are the victim in an argument. When they recount the argument, you get only one side of it... so.... hard to say what else was going on or led up to things....

You both have a lot of difficulties and challenges.

In situations like this, it is a real good opportunity to practice, demonstrate, and learn about the meaning of "Grace".

 

I will pray for you and your husband.

[Logan787]

That never even occurred to me. That could possibly be it.

 

I honestly feel like my marriage might be over. The good isn't enough to over power the bad. I'm trying. No one can say I'm not.

 

I thought we had a breakthrough. If I had somewhere to go for the night I probably would. I feel worse than ever before.

 

Really need a word or a touch from God right now. I need him now more than ever.

 

Samantha,

Do you have someone that you can talk to and confide with in person? That might help you.

 

Here is a verse or two to encourage you.

 

“My heart is sore pained within me: and the terrors of death are fallen upon me. Fearfulness and trembling are come upon me, and horror hath overwhelmed me. And I said, Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest. Lo, then would I wander far off, and remain in the wilderness. Selah. I would hasten my escape from the windy storm and tempest.

 

Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.”

**Psalms‬ *55:4-8, 22‬ *KJV‬‬

[BTDT2012]

Have you seen the movie "War Room".

[eye of the storm]

Samantha, demand counseling. Something is going on.

 

He could be dealing with depression, he could be cheating. But something is going on. Put your foot down and demand counseling.

 

If he balks, tell him you are calling a lawyer because you didn't sign up for this.

[LancasterAmos1966]

 

I thought we had a breakthrough. If I had somewhere to go for the night I probably would. I feel worse than ever before.

 

 

 

Just trying to encourage you Samanthajay.

 

Please understand that many on here have felt the same way!! It's a terrible feeling, but you will get through this.

 

My wife of 20+ years left me and our 6 kids.

 

I felt empty, my faith was very weak, lost my appetite and I was scared!!

 

But God provided comfort and healing!!

 

Your marriage is not over but just in case your husband is done.....you will make it through this!! Many are praying for you, many are here to help you get through this crisis.

[Logan787]

Samantha,

Are you ok? I notice you haven't Posted for a few days. Been praying for you. Write back and let us know. Hope you are well.

[Cephalopod]

Hi I'm new to the forum. I feel like I have nowhere to turn because this is a very private matter. I'm 32, married, have 2 kids, and have attended the same church since I was 15. I am a Christian woman and do not, I repeat, DO NOT condone cheating or adultery. That being said...I can't stop thinking about the church deacon. He's 34, also married, has 3 kids and has also attended the same church as me since he was a teenager. I always had a crush on him to be honest. But when he got married I kind of pushed those feelings aside. It hurt..a lot. But I knew it meant he was off limits. Anyway, fast forward 10 years. I'm married, he's married, we are both happy, living our lives, raising our kids. But for the passsd few weeks I can't seem to get him out of my head. I've even had dreams about him. Fantasizing about him all day. I am finding ways to get closer to his wife just to be closer to him. All the old feelings came back and 10 times stronger! I don't know how to stop these feelings. And the worse part is, I don't want to. I know this sounds bad. Any advice? My husband is the kindest man I have ever met. I know that makes me sound like such a villain.

 

Read Matthew 5:29. Whether you and your husband make it or not, you need to remove yourself from that church and the source of your lust.

[Samanthajay84]

Samantha,

Are you ok? I notice you haven't Posted for a few days. Been praying for you. Write back and let us know. Hope you are well.

 

Thank you for checking in on me, Logan.

 

I'm doing well, I just haven't had the time to post with Christmas coming along. We've been preparing for the holidays and everything seems to be going well.

 

Jeff got a second job. He's actually really happy about it. We're getting along well. We had a session with a counselor at church and we basically let it all out to each other.

 

We came to the conclusion that we still love each other very much but we let life's problems get in the way of that. The counselor said that it's common. Couples going through difficult times tend to try to fix them on their own instead of working together. Making it feel like our problems as a couple, were actually our own individual problems.

 

Before we knew it, we were on seperate teams. Hostility set it making it feel like we weren't there for each other. Like we weren't helping each other.

 

So we got back on the same page and we are doing great.

 

Thanks again for the advice, everyone here.

[Logan787]

Thank you for checking in on me, Logan.

 

I'm doing well, I just haven't had the time to post with Christmas coming along. We've been preparing for the holidays and everything seems to be going well.

 

Jeff got a second job. He's actually really happy about it. We're getting along well. We had a session with a counselor at church and we basically let it all out to each other.

 

We came to the conclusion that we still love each other very much but we let life's problems get in the way of that. The counselor said that it's common. Couples going through difficult times tend to try to fix them on their own instead of working together. Making it feel like our problems as a couple, were actually our own individual problems.

 

Before we knew it, we were on seperate teams. Hostility set it making it feel like we weren't there for each other. Like we weren't helping each other.

 

So we got back on the same page and we are doing great.

 

Thanks again for the advice, everyone here.

 

Glad to hear Samantha!