Ex wants to meet

[Bench120]

Hi new here and need help. Think this is the right forum to us.

 

My ex broke up with me after 4 years 3 months ago to be with someone else but they only lasted a few weeks. She was abroad at the time and moved back home last week. Following breakup we went nc and she blocked from social media although we exchanged a few emails.

 

Since coming back we have been in contact via what's app a little each day. She wants to come back to the home we were sharing just for the day but she always talks about missing the pet so maybe it's to see it? Also her stuff is all here still and she doesnt seem to be taking it all in 1 go.

 

Anyways So I agreed she could come tomorrow. I don't know what to expect or what will happen. Since we've been back in contact I've felt out of control and unable to stop thinking about her (more than usual). I struggled during nc but this feels much worse because she's right there and I can contact her at any time. I feel like she has taken back control and is using me to fill time before she moves to her next stage of life.

 

I don't have many friends or people who get me like her. I tend to do whatever is needed to make her happy. Basically I'm whipped but I'm no longer even with her. Despite this I still want to please her and think about her all the time. I still put her over everything and can't say no to her.

 

Just want to know what other people think I should do and how to manage this situation. Especially the meet up. Also what if she wants sex?

 

I'm really confused about why I feel like this after what has happened between us.

[Philosoraptor]

Sounds like she and the new guy had a falling out and you're her soft place to land.

 

She's left you once for someone else, she'll do it again when she finds someone else to bounce to.

 

Respect yourself not to be that safe landing spot between her torrid sexcapades. Tell her to pound sand.

[likegreenlover]

Honestly , look how far you've come. Im sure you've begun to heal by now and you don't wana set yourself back. If you trust her and still love her then maybe give it another chance, but if your gut tells you to run, do it. Explain to her that you need to heal and there are no hard feelings but you need to cut contact for your own happiness and sanity. Explain to her that she hurt you and ask her to respect your happiness.

[Bench120]

Thanks for the replies. I feel like I've already lost some progress. Having seen what she is like now I think I have a grasp of the situation.

 

I think she may have rebounded again with another guy based on how she acts and a quote I saw from her on social media. She hasn't told me about it and she is reluctant to take all her stuff from the home. She also seems interested in keeping contact and wants to hang out/come around.

 

I think I'm going to go back to staying away and if she contacts then reciprocate. Her second rebound is halfway across the world so I can't see it lasting tbh. In either case I can't be messaging her like I have been this week if this is the situation.

 

Time to focus on myself again.