Sociopaths

[Poppy47]

Hello Everybody,

 

I would very much like your views on sociopaths.

 

If I view xMM as a sociopath, for me, the puzzle is complete. I could never understand why he was so loving and it felt perfect.

 

Poppy.

[Miss Clavel]

i, for one, do not want to meet any socios. however, since you have, does the label really help?

 

don't look back, you aren't going that way.

[lilacwine]

Hello Everybody,

 

I would very much like your views on sociopaths.

 

If I view xMM as a sociopath, for me, the puzzle is complete. I could never understand why he was so loving and it felt perfect.

 

Poppy.

 

As far as I know, sociopaths/narcissists tend to be very charming. Being around one is an addicting experience. So to me, they are Addictive and Poisonous.

[Whisper Quiet]

Hello Poppy -

 

Not a comment specifically on sociopaths, but I found information on narcissist to explain xMM as if was written specifically describing him. Narcissism, sociopathy and BPD all have some similar and overlapping traits.

 

There is a website written by a narcissist that has helped me to better understand the behaviors and dynamics that were in my relationship. Reading the brutally frank explanations of what narcissists do and why they do it was difficult at times, but has helped me to further connect the dots on x MM's behavior.

 

This new understanding clarified why the dysfunctional relationship felt addictive at times, was so difficult to break away from, to move past, and get out of my head.

 

Glad you are feeling better, Poppy.

 

(Sending you a PM.)

[Scarlett94]

Sociopaths mimic human behavior but lack true empathy.

[Adoraxx]

 

If I view xMM as a sociopath, for me, the puzzle is complete. I could never understand why he was so loving and it felt perfect.

 

Poppy.

 

Same here, Poppy. Psychopath/ Sociopath etc... If you have FB, you can find some valuable information on the PsychopathFree page. It's really the only thing that makes sense

 

xx

[Satu]

Sociopaths maybe, conmen definitely.

[Midwestmissy]

Adoraxx, unfortunately also on FB you can find narcissists by the pageful. A friend of several years has friended any person she's ever met, posts up close selfies to fish for compliments and is thrilled at the 200+ likes she gets. She's 54. She then posts pictures of herself with her teen daughters so she can get all the "you are all like sisters!" Comments. Hundreds of those. Then she replies to every comment with a self deprecating comment "oh my wrinkles, oh my nose...". Ugh. Someone we know gets a poem published? She posts haikus daily. Your child is going to art school? Cue the endless 'artsy' photographs, attempts at painting and sculpture. It's exhausting to read, imagine keeping up that life.

 

I've noticed that when I'm at her home, every piece of furniture or decor is something I've seen at mutual friends' homes. Her perfume is instantly recognizable as the distinct (and super hard to find) cologne one male friend wears. She accrues and collects and curates her life based on how she thinks others are viewed. There's nothing original, she's a chameleon of her friends' tastes. It's really odd, and a bit unsettling.

 

She's highly educated and a very successful surgeon married to a kind, well known local public figure - he's well known due to his job, but he doesn't seek attention. It's sad how deep the insecurities run.

 

 

I have 60 friends on FB, and frankly I could cull that further. I like seeing people's children, my friends' funny stories, recipes. Then I like to actually do things. It's amazing how FB has become the instant validation go-to. How a split-second tap of the finger on the 'like' button counts as validation to anyone over 16 amazes me. Now I hope I get tons of likes on this post or my day will be ruined.

[wmacbride]

I don;t think you can diagnose someone as being a sociopath/ narcissist so easily. these men may have simply been jerks.

[Adoraxx]

hi Midwestmissy, haha yes I know there are lots of psychopaths on FB too, I was just referring to this FB page in general , it has some good info.

That sounds creepy what you wrote about that woman! I'm sure everyone of us knows someone who loves to count 'likes' LOL although this one sounds pretty extreme!!!!

 

I'm sending some likes your way (each one of them counts for a 1,000 )

xx

Adoraxx

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[Poppy47]

i, for one, do not want to meet any socios. however, since you have, does the label really help?

 

don't look back, you aren't going that way.

 

I know which way I'm going MC.

 

It's not the label that helps at all. I have probably encountered sociopaths before and not recognised it. Before now, I knew nothing about them. I have some understanding now.

 

Poppy.

[Poppy47]

I don;t think you can diagnose someone as being a sociopath/ narcissist so easily. these men may have simply been jerks.

 

Are they not one and the same?

[RecentChange]

Are they not one and the same?

 

No, they are not, not considered the same clinically at least. But they are all antisocial personality disorders.

 

Sociopaths, psychopaths, and narcissist all share an innate lack of empathy, but the degrees of which, and other manifestations are different.

 

A sociopath has a "conscious" and generally some ability to feel empathy, but it is hindered. They tend to be thrill seekers, manipulators, and do not feel terribly bad about it - because they have a decreased ability to put themselves in someone else's shoes.

 

Psychopaths take it to another level. They do not feel bad at all for actions that hurt others. They tend to have poor impulse control, a streak of "meanness" and violence.

 

narcissist also lack true empathy, and are marked by extreme self centeredness. While a sociopath may use someone in a malicious way, a narcissist is going to use someone to stroke their own ego. They have over blown feelings of grandeur and self importance.

 

In short - I see the catagories like this:

 

The narcissist is going to think he is the cat's meow, and that all should hail to him.

 

The Sociopath will use others for their own entertainment.

 

The psychopath will purposely hurt someone else for little reason at all.

[MidnightBlue1980]

I believe xmm is a narcissistic sociopath. My therapist actually had me read this book and he meets most of the characteristics. But what was interesting was this other book my friend gave me on sociopaths.

 

My mother has Borderline Personality Disorder (never formally diagnosed but most of the females in my family have it or something worse), in and out of mental hospitals, etc and we have not spoken in 13 years as she broke off the relationship abruptly one day, long story. I read this book and a lot was on parents. I was unaware of the similarity of BPD and sociopathic behavior, there was a lot of my mother in there. Plus - children of BPD mothers are targets subconsciously for sociopaths and like a moth to the flame, children of BPD mothers are drawn to them as well.

 

So it really made sense why I kept going back for more abuse from xmm. After all, I kept going back to my mother for 33 years. I'm basically conditioned to accept and crave abuse.

[MidnightBlue1980]

I don;t think you can diagnose someone as being a sociopath/ narcissist so easily. these men may have simply been jerks.

 

My litmus test is that a jerk you get over fairly quickly whereas a sociopath has gotten inside your mind. You find yourself carrying a torch for someone dreadfully awful.

[Mayday2016]

Just read my threads about my xMM.. He is a sociopath. Its genetic so I worry my daughter may inherit.

[MidnightBlue1980]

Just read my threads about my xMM.. He is a sociopath. Its genetic so I worry my daughter may inherit.

 

I have read your thread and I agree. Your xmm fits the profile.

 

Here is the thing, empathy is a learned trait, like sharing. It must be taught by the parents. It is harder for some to learn than others. My daughter is not great with it. I've had to teach her how to care, like if I bang my head to express concern and ask if I am okay. Given my family history, I am not shocked she is somewhat cold. But there is a difference between nature and nurture. You can certainly guide and your daughter into a warm and caring person and teach her morals, right from wrong and compassion.

[wmacbride]

Are they not one and the same?

 

 

Psychopaths are the ultimate empaths in that they can read other people really easily. They then use what they have learned to benefit themselves. The can seem really kind and caring, but each act is for themselves. They seem to be able to plan these types of things out ten steps ahead of where they are.

 

point out that they are hurting someone,and they really won't understand it or care in the least- but they can sure put on an act.

 

You can be an absolute jerk and not be a sociopath.

[wmacbride]

I believe xmm is a narcissistic sociopath. My therapist actually had me read this book and he meets most of the characteristics. But what was interesting was this other book my friend gave me on sociopaths.

 

My mother has Borderline Personality Disorder (never formally diagnosed but most of the females in my family have it or something worse), in and out of mental hospitals, etc and we have not spoken in 13 years as she broke off the relationship abruptly one day, long story. I read this book and a lot was on parents. I was unaware of the similarity of BPD and sociopathic behavior, there was a lot of my mother in there. Plus - children of BPD mothers are targets subconsciously for sociopaths and like a moth to the flame, children of BPD mothers are drawn to them as well.

 

So it really made sense why I kept going back for more abuse from xmm. After all, I kept going back to my mother for 33 years. I'm basically conditioned to accept and crave abuse.

 

 

There is a school of thought, and I don't agree, that says BPD is the female version of anti social personality disorders in men.

[wmacbride]

My litmus test is that a jerk you get over fairly quickly whereas a sociopath has gotten inside your mind. You find yourself carrying a torch for someone dreadfully awful.

 

 

this is a good point.

 

I guess it doesn't matter per se, if someone could be clinically diagnosed as having one of these disorders. What matters is how they treat you ( general you). if it's badly,then that's what matters.

[SweetiePi]

In my experience BPD might appear similar to sociopathic behaviour, but there are differences. There is a correlation between BPD and PTSD. Often times a person with BPD is a product of severe trauma in early years. Maybe some with BPD are also a sociopath, but there are many that truly have suffered at the hands of others and are not offenders of others because of this. Some will direct the anger inward and some lash out at everyone. Untreated, a person with BPD can act like a monster.

 

 

I don't believe I've ever met a psychopath (thankfully). A narcissist, yes. They seem to have no guilt about affairs and continually seek people that are weaker and easily manipulated. It's as though they feel they are better, more deserving, more special, unique or something like that.

 

 

I was unaware of the similarity of BPD and sociopathic behavior, there was a lot of my mother in there. Plus - children of BPD mothers are targets subconsciously for sociopaths and like a moth to the flame, children of BPD mothers are drawn to them as well.

[wmacbride]

Just read my threads about my xMM.. He is a sociopath. Its genetic so I worry my daughter may inherit.

 

When I was in university, we watched a documentary about the origins of psychopathy, and one of the world experts int he subject explained brain PET scans of people with psychopathy. if I remember correctly, their brains all showed issues in the pre-frontal cortex.

 

He went on to say that out of interest, he scanned his own brain and found he had the same issue, yet he was not a psychopath. his theory is that he was raised in a caring family, taught right from wrong, encouraged to express his feelings, etc. It's almost like some of the genes that cause cancer. Without an environmental stimulus, they will never be expressed.

 

If you show your daughter lots of care and love while at the same time not spoil her, and if you can teach her right from wrong, she will do well.

[lilacwine]

No, they are not, not considered the same clinically at least. But they are all antisocial personality disorders.

 

Sociopaths, psychopaths, and narcissist all share an innate lack of empathy, but the degrees of which, and other manifestations are different.

 

A sociopath has a "conscious" and generally some ability to feel empathy, but it is hindered. They tend to be thrill seekers, manipulators, and do not feel terribly bad about it - because they have a decreased ability to put themselves in someone else's shoes.

 

Psychopaths take it to another level. They do not feel bad at all for actions that hurt others. They tend to have poor impulse control, a streak of "meanness" and violence.

 

narcissist also lack true empathy, and are marked by extreme self centeredness. While a sociopath may use someone in a malicious way, a narcissist is going to use someone to stroke their own ego. They have over blown feelings of grandeur and self importance.

 

In short - I see the catagories like this:

 

The narcissist is going to think he is the cat's meow, and that all should hail to him.

 

The Sociopath will use others for their own entertainment.

 

The psychopath will purposely hurt someone else for little reason at all.

 

Wow. You nailed it. Thank you so much!!!

[Poppy47]

No, they are not, not considered the same clinically at least. But they are all antisocial personality disorders.

 

Sociopaths, psychopaths, and narcissist all share an innate lack of empathy, but the degrees of which, and other manifestations are different.

 

A sociopath has a "conscious" and generally some ability to feel empathy, but it is hindered. They tend to be thrill seekers, manipulators, and do not feel terribly bad about it - because they have a decreased ability to put themselves in someone else's shoes.

 

Psychopaths take it to another level. They do not feel bad at all for actions that hurt others. They tend to have poor impulse control, a streak of "meanness" and violence.

 

narcissist also lack true empathy, and are marked by extreme self centeredness. While a sociopath may use someone in a malicious way, a narcissist is going to use someone to stroke their own ego. They have over blown feelings of grandeur and self importance.

 

In short - I see the catagories like this:

 

The narcissist is going to think he is the cat's meow, and that all should hail to him.

 

The Sociopath will use others for their own entertainment.

 

The psychopath will purposely hurt someone else for little reason at all.

 

How would you define a "jerk"? I meant is a sociopath not a jerk?

 

I knew the differences between the three disorders. Thanks,

 

Poppy

[Poppy47]

My litmus test is that a jerk you get over fairly quickly whereas a sociopath has gotten inside your mind. You find yourself carrying a torch for someone dreadfully awful.

 

I would have to agree with that.

 

xMM was chillingly supreme at imprinting memories on my mind. It was not apparent on the occasions but in hindsight, I see his manipulation all over everything he ever did.

 

Poppy.