confusedgirl Posted April 26, 2001 Share Posted April 26, 2001 I posted a message a few weeks ago about a past boyfriend who just couldn't choose between me and another girl. We had dated for five months, and have been broken up for about five more. Although I tried to remain friends for awhile, he would always flirt with me, and said he always still had feelings for me, but didn't know that we should get back together because if he wasn't sure about this other girl, how could he be totally committed to me? Well, thanks in part to Tony, I told him I wasn't going to sit around and be second choice. I wanted it all, or wanted to pretend he didn't exist. I told him to have a nice life until he cleaned his act up. Well, we haven't talked for about a month, and he wrote me a very long letter yesterday. He went on about how he finally decided that he was going to do things because he wanted to do them, not because of what other people think (meaning that he wasn't going to remain in contact with this other girl). He told me that he really wanted to see me, and if I ran away or tried to ignore him, he would run after me. . . that he was finally taking control of his life and of what he wanted. He said he knew I might be quite a challenge, but that was a risk he was going to take. So here's my question: I have been in love with this man for sometime, but finally decided he wasn't worth it. My heart is open, but has been wounded by him. How do I show him that I want to be pursued, but not seem too overly enthusiastic? (He, by the way, has never been the type to pursue anyone. He told me that he always waits for the girl to approach and pursue him, so this will be new for him, and I don't want to totally discourage his efforts, I just don't want to jump in too quickly.) Thanks so much for your help guys! This man is truly worth it, but I need help. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 26, 2001 Share Posted April 26, 2001 Just simply give him a run for his money. Don't be so available to him. I think he's got a lot of nerve writing you and telling you now he's ready for you. Poop on that. Let him know it's going to take some time to build up faith and trust in him. Don't go out with him every time he asks. Don't return his calls to quickly. Take your own advice and don't jump in too quickly. I promise you that if you run back and kiss his butt at any point in the next three to six months, it will be devastating. Men like to work for what they get and you're going to have to make sure he is accomodated in this way. If you don't know these things as a woman intutively, you need to take some time out from life to meditate and learn to be the woman nature meant you to be. This is all very basic stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
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