2 1/2 years married. Time to move on

[Bojack83]

Just want to rant. It's been a week since I've seen her or talked to her. I got a new place and I'm starting over. We don't have any kids or property so the divorce should be simple.

 

I felt so sick this week. I can workout but I can't seem to work up an appetite. I do love her but I'm not happy in the marriage anymore. I tried it for a year but I couldn't get over her affair with her boss. I gave her another chance, she quit her job and started working at another company. I found out she was flirting with a coworker and she was working later than usual.

 

There is no more trust there. I now it's the right thing, but it hurt so much.....

[Bufo]

If you have decided that you are done, you are absolutely correct that divorce without kids or property is a whole lot easier than when the contestants have these things.

 

See an attorney to learn what divorce is like. Ask how to protect yourself via separating assets. Get an idea of fees and costs. And length of proceedings contested versus uncontested

 

If you file keep in mind that fighting over trinkets benefits only the lawyers involved. Do a three column list of mine, hers and ours. The stupidest argument I ever saw was a spousal fight in the courthouse whether some household stuff was a wedding present or a shower present. I don't think I have to tell you who favored "shower" over "wedding". I guess it was more about getting the last dig into the soon to be ex.

 

I'm not telling you to divorce. Your goal should be to get out of infidelity whether that means divorce or reconciliation. Until that happens you will be miserable in limbo.

 

The early affair is a bad sign, however.

Edited December 8, 2016 by Bufo

[BoaConstrictor]

With no kids and a marriage that short, I would also likely bail because of infidelity. What it a long fair or a one-night stand? That might influence things.

 

So sorry this happened to you.

[OatsAndHall]

I'm sorry that you're dealing with this... Divorce due to infidelity is an awful thing to go through.

 

But, view it all as a business transaction from here on out. Pay for a lawyer and get the papers filed. You may not have children or joint property but there isn't anything stopping her from asking for maintenance or alimony. Most states want a clean financial break but there are others that award alimony to a woman liberally. You'll want that lawyer there telling her (and her lawyer) to f- off if she starts asking for money.

 

And, like someone said, don't dicker over the little things. It's a waste of time and money.

[Bojack83]

Thanks for the replies. Since I make much more money than her I left her everything that was in the apartment. I live in Texas so alimony is not required if married less than 10 years. I'm still getting a lawyer.

 

A mutual friend who is also her coworker called me and asked what was going on. I told her that I caught her texting another guy and she asked if I caught the name. I told her the name and she has said she had noticed something off between them but she just thought it was nothing. She found out that they were hanging out after work when she was telling me she was working late or on a long phone call with her dad.

 

Anyways, I started getting my appetite back today. Going to spend the whole weekend furnishing my new apartment and my plan is to just go for long walks to lose weight and help with my stress until I'm ready to date again and by then the divorce should be final.

[RecentChange]

Two years is a drop in the bucket - time to move on to bigger and better things! Good luck to you