Being Ignored, Is There Hope?

[likegreenlover]

I apologize if my story is too long, but here it goes. I was with my ex for nearly four years (3yrs 10 months), we had an amazing relationship. Very loving and affectionate, we were each others best friends. We texted daily , called eachother morning and night, and saw eachother 3-4 times a week and would take turns sleeping over 2 nights a week at eachothers homes. He's newly 21 i'm nearly 20 (2 months to go). A month before the break up i noticed he was going out and drinking at bars with friends more and more often, no biggie. We trust eachother completely and both make time to see friends as often as we can. So i noticed that he was going out more and was somewhat choosing going out over me in a sense. Maybe i was just used to seeing him so often that it felt that way but it was becoming more and more often and making me feel a little unwanted in a way. I didn't see this at first, but looking back we had been fighting more than usual. I was annoyed with him and didn't communicate properly. They weren't nasty fights just little arguements and honestly i was being naggy and rude to him.

 

Fast forward about two weeks and i'm supposed to see him on a Friday night, i'm at home getting ready and waiting for him to get off work. He texted me saying he was working late and didn't know when he'd be off. (typical for his job). I waited a few hours and he kept saying the same thing. I had a gut feeling and tracked his phone (bug mistake i know) and found that he was at a buddy's house drinking. I was furious and told him off, i then made a hugeeee mistake. I was upset soci told his mother (we both live with our parents) where he was because i know she would disapprove as he had just gone drinking the night before. I totally admit i did it out of anger and to try and get him in trouble. After that night he completely ignored me for a whole week. We had never gone this long without talking, if we got into a fight before and didn't talk for a day he'd call me crying saying he missed and needed me. After a week i called his phone until he answered, and demanaded that he tell me what was going on. He broke down and told me that we had to break up. He said we're going in different directions , i explained to him that HE always brings up getting married later down the road with me, he always planned out future together and we both know we do want the same things, he just kept repeating that we're going in different directions and have too much tension. Looking back, the day before this friday night fight, i was at his house and he was going to go out and i was upset about it and his parents didn't want him to go because it was a weeknight and he got mad and told us both we can't control him. So yeah i'm sure he's super mad at me for being too involved and controlling . I'm usually not this way AT ALL but something about that week had me feeling scared.

 

After that 15 minute tear filled phone call i waited 25 day s of No contact, texted him saying i'm sorry for my mistakes and that i love and miss him and hope he's doug well. He never replied. It's now officially been one ful month since he broke it off. I'm so confused and hurt. I know i made a huge mistake and i'm very sorry and after taking this time apart i can see my mistakes and have learned a lot. I've been able to learn from this. He still has in a relationship on facebook, my family make up more than half of his friend list, and he still has all our pics up. I know he uses face book daily. I'm just wondering if anyone thinks there's still hope for us? He told me he still loves me and always will when he ended things. I just feel like the reasons he left are so easy to fix. I love him so much. He is ignoring me and that hurts soooooo bad. I'm thinking he's mad at me and is enjoying going out and being 21 right now, but my family and friends and myself know that he is a hugeee family guy. He loves being around family and the party scene just isn't him. Does anyone think there's hope he'll come back? I don't wana text him again since he never replied but i just feel like this is not right, this isn't how our story ends. I'm ready to let go of the teenage relationship and start treating him as an adult. I've learned a lot and have reflected and i feel that if he knew this we could easily fix things as they seem so small now. I see now that we both made mistakes but i have so much hope in us and so does my family and his. I'm soooo close to his family and they all tell me he'll be back , that he's acting like a fool right now. My gut tells me he'll be back, but the fact that's it's been a month of no contact and that he never returned my text makes me so confused and it's eating away at me all day wondering and wondering .

 

Any advice is totally appreciated but please i don't wan ahear that i'm too young to be in such a serious relationship, everyone is different and many people in my family married their high school sweethearts�� Both our families are very close to eachother and so involved. His own parents are high school sweethearts . Everyone thinks we'll end up together forever and i just wana know if anyone has an opinion on this

Edited December 8, 2016 by likegreenlover
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[ilovemefirst]

I'm sorry you are going through this pain. In my experience, and from seeing others go through a similar thing, i realized that men/woman who were the dumper usually always feel relief right after a breakup. It only disappears, the moment you let go. Believe it or not, we can smell when someone is thinking about us and not wanting to let go. This type of energy makes them feel secure, so the urgency isn't there to contact you. But when you let go and start focusing on yourself, distracting yourself with hobbies, friends etc., and focusing on bettering your life , he will sense this. Why do we always wonder why they come back when you move on, this is exactly why. Its a push pull thing.

 

Not saying to expect him to come back to you, but that is the only way to move on and to let him come back if its meant to me. Either ways, its a win win. Please read my last post. You will see what i mean:)

[likegreenlover]

I'm sorry you are going through this pain. In my experience, and from seeing others go through a similar thing, i realized that men/woman who were the dumper usually always feel relief right after a breakup. It only disappears, the moment you let go. Believe it or not, we can smell when someone is thinking about us and not wanting to let go. This type of energy makes them feel secure, so the urgency isn't there to contact you. But when you let go and start focusing on yourself, distracting yourself with hobbies, friends etc., and focusing on bettering your life , he will sense this. Why do we always wonder why they come back when you move on, this is exactly why. Its a push pull thing.

 

Not saying to expect him to come back to you, but that is the only way to move on and to let him come back if its meant to me. Either ways, its a win win. Please read my last post. You will see what i mean:)

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you, i've been trying to better myself and remain positive . It's funny you say that because i had a feeling the other day he was thinking about me and to be honest all of my panic and fear went away, almost as if things were back to normal. I'm going to try hard and focus on me and hopefully he realizes what he lost and will come back.